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Peter Falk in Columbo: A Bird in the Hand (1992)

Quotes

Columbo: A Bird in the Hand

Edit
  • Harold McCain: Hey, why would you need me at all? Your job here is to keep people away, isn't it?
  • Columbo: Oh, the traffic boys, they handle that. No, sir, I'm just waiting for more of my crew. Look at that. Even the tires are custom. Oh, I don't mind admitting, sir, this buggy sure caught my eye. See, I got a foreign car, too. It's French. I don't know if you noticed it. It's parked down there in the street?
  • Harold McCain: No, I didn't.
  • Columbo: Oh.
  • Harold McCain: What is your job, Lieutenant?
  • Columbo: Homicide.
  • Harold McCain: On a hit-and-run case?
  • Columbo: Oh, don't let that worry you, sir. And particularly not Mrs. McCain. But the violent death of anyone as well-known as Big Fred, we gotta look into it, just to make double-triple sure, that's all. Besides, our chief... he's the biggest Stallions fan in Los Angeles, if you understand what I'm saying.
  • Harold McCain: I guess so.
  • Columbo: Yeah.
  • Harold McCain: [a police car approaches] That's your crew now, right?
  • Columbo: No, no, no, no. That's the accident detail. There must be a dozen of 'em in the neighborhood by now. But, you know, I was just thinking. When the people start trampling around here...
  • [opens the door to Big Fred's car]
  • Columbo: ... we don't want 'em poking into this. There's gotta be some button you can push to lock the doors.
  • Harold McCain: Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, this was Uncle Fred's pride and joy.
  • Columbo: Yeah. And if we have to move it, I'm sure we can find a key.
  • Salesman: Wire? What wire?
  • Columbo: To the bomb.
  • Columbo: You won't go far, will ya?
  • Dolores: Let me sleep on this, honey. It's very confusing.
  • Columbo: One picture is better than a thousand words.
  • Columbo: One in the hand is worth two in the bush.
  • Columbo: Gentlemen, either Harold was lying to Delores, or Delores was lying to us.
  • Dolores: There has to be a reason for murder. I had none.
  • Columbo: Maybe because he suspected you killed Big Fred.
  • Bertie: What?
  • Columbo: That's what I said. And I suspect Harold was right.
  • Bertie: No, Big Fred - but Big Fred was run over... Oh my God! Delores?
  • Dolores: Just shut up.
  • Dolores: Lieutenant, you know perfectly well that it was Harold who tried to kill Fred.
  • Columbo: And he would have, but you got there first.
  • Columbo: A seven letter word for a green leaf that's got a "U" in it. The third letter is "U". It's not lettuce.
  • Lt. Robertson: You're doing a crossword puzzle? We're waiting for you and you're doing a crossword puzzle?

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