Rumpelstiltskin

When I rented Rumpelstiltskin I had mixed feelings about it. I had rented Pinocciho's Revenge and that sucked, so renting another childrens fairy tale turned into a horror movie was questionable. But I said what the hell, for $3.50 might as well give it a shot, and you know somethin, the movie rocked. Everyone that knows me knows, that JAWS is my num. 1 favorite movie, then came Tremors and Leprechaun, but when I rented Rumpelstiltskin, out went the Leprechaun ass first and Rumpy took over. This movie rocks. It's a mix of horror action and comedy. Max Grodenchick did an awesome job and for anyone that gave Rumpelstiltskin a bad review, well you can just go rent it again, then push the eject butten, take the movie, turn it side - ways, and stick it straight up your candy @$$!

Okay, "Rumpelstiltskin" is another one of those horror films that aren't really scary or terrifying, just plain silly and funny with a script filled in with a bunch of lame one-liners. However, I found this film rather entertaining since it's directed and co-scripted by Mark Jones, the creator of "Leprechaun", though this was the third and last film he ever wrote and directed.

What we have here is a grotesque Freddy Krueger-like hunchbacked baby-stealing punk whose name is the movie's title, who (loosely based on the children's fairytale) is cursed by an old hag who imprisons him in a brownish-green rock for one-thousand years for trying to steal the Baby John's soul so that he could live on for eternity and never be killed. One-thousand years later in present day Los Angeles, a woman's police officer husband is killed by an armed carjacker in the line of duty. A few days later she finds the stone that Rumpelstiltskin is imprisoned, drops a tear on it (that's what you have to do to release him, with a tear and a true wish) when crying and remembering her dead husband. Somehow, Rumpelstiltskin is released from his imprisonment, transforms into the woman's husdband, makes love to her, and turns back into himself to suck her baby's soul out. Later on we have a whole hell of a lot of exciting things going on, including Rumpelstiltskin chasing after her and her baby and a sleazy television host in a huge truck wreaking even further havoc till the very end.

Despite its low-budget and amateurish acting, the picture does have its great moments and memorable situations, but refuses to deliver any real shocks or a lick of redeeming value though it does have some excellent special make-up effects by Kevin Yagher (Child's Play 1, 2, 3 and Bride of Chucky).

So give "Rumpelstiltskin" a chance and you'll have a good time with this fast-paced flick.

Did you ever see Leprechaun? If you answered 'yes' continue. Did you like it? If you answered 'no', get out of here fast and don't watch Rumpelstiltskin.

Sorry, that was just a quick filter to stop potential 'haters' of this movie seeing it or reading this. So if you like horror, you'll be aware that between around 1988-1996 the genre was ridiculous and terrible, bar a few noble exceptions. Only 99% of the stuff that came out was terrible. However, as a kid, it was great to be able to watch things like Leprechaun/Rumpelstiltskin and be mildly scared (mostly by the box cover) and be amused also.

I have fond memories of Rumpelstiltskin, and when I watched it yesterday I still enjoyed it. It's nothing special, but Rumpelstiltskin looks quite evil, says lines like "this ain't no fairytale" and even raises the dead once. Awesome!

You can see the director thought 'shit, look at my budget, I don't need all that', so he just decided to blow stuff up. There are some great explosions of trucks...yes, there is a Rumpelstiltskin car chase!

Criticisms. Acting: the acting was so bad, not quite 'Manos' bad, but everyone bar the mother of the baby and the cop who dies early on were terrible. Even little Rumpel is only OK, would have liked less comic humour and more sinister stuff. Plot: It's weak and sometimes it's too slow, others too fast. Like when Rumpel is unleashed the pacing goes out the window. Though I must say, there's plenty of the little guy in this movie and that's what we want to see so I can't complain. Rumpel: He's a good character, but if it wasn't for Leprechaun's cult following would they have made Rumpel more sinister? It may not have worked because he's laughable even before he speaks.

This movie works only if you suspend all belief and expect as little as possible. It helps if you're bored and just don't care what you watch also. 6/10 just because of it's faint charm and explosions. There is no horror to be found in this movie!

A strange urge took possession over me and encouraged me to re-watch this epic piece of fairy-tale terror with an attitude. I can't help it, but I'm still having fun with this one. Liked it the first time, and I still do. It's from the director who brought us that other masterpiece of little people's horror, the original LEPRECHAUN. Believe it or not, both movies are just about on par with each other and equally enjoyable. If it's not clear already: Yes, we're talking B-movie tongue-in-cheek horror. But at least it was shot on real film and doesn't suffer from a cheap shot-on-video look (like a lot of B-movies from the late 90's do).

RUMPELSTILSKIN is a nonsensical take on a Grimm fairy-tale gone bad. After being imprisoned for about 500 years in a little statue made out of stone (at the bottom of the ocean, no less), Rumpelstiltskin gets set free by a grieving, young mother, who just bought the statue in some antique-store. Now our little devilish fiend wants the soul of mommy's baby, to render himself immortal.

While most mediocre horror efforts from the 90's made the mistake playing it serious when not up to the task, at least there was nonsense like RUMPELSTILTSKIN that has its idiotic heart at the right place. Main attraction is, without a doubt, Max Grodénchik as the titular little bastard, spewing one ridiculous one-liner after another. At one point he even quotes Col. Hannibal from THE A-TEAM by saying "I love it when a plan comes together", while driving an 8-wheeler and puffing on a cigar. And that's by far not his best one-liner. But who would have guessed a 15th century troll-demon would know who George Peppard is…?

If the first encounter between Shelley Stewart (the young mother) and freshly unleashed Rumpelstiltskin doesn't win you over, then I'm afraid the rest of the movie might be lost on you too. When trying to protect her baby, Shelley - who appears to be so mild-hearted and very gentle at first - begins with kicking Rumpy in the balls, then suddenly pulls out a big knife and viciously shouts "When you take one more step, I'll rip your head off and shove it up your ass!" (and she said it like she meant it). She then proceeds cutting off one of his fingers, planting the knife in his forehead and even shoving a spike-shaped broomstick into his mouth. I mean, if that doesn't put a grin on your face, I'm not sure what will.

The rest of the film is a ridiculously fun ride and the movie's pace even gets upped a bit by injecting that road-movie vibe, halfway through the film. To top it off, there's some fun make-up effects by Kevin Yagher (check out the man's resumé if you've never heard of him and you'll see he always delivers the goods).

It's harmless fun, I tell you. But stay away from it if you feel like taking yourself too seriously.

When I rented this film, I was expecting a genre-defying horror version of the classic children's tale. Anyone who has seen SNOW WHITE: A TALE OF TERROR knows what I am talking about. But, what we have instead is a modern-day version of RUMPELSTILTSKIN, a movie that tries desperately to be like the "Leprechaun" series, which was even worse.

There are no big names in the film, but the acting is not TOO bad. It could've been better, though.

The film is an angry mess of a horror movie that never seems to know what it wants to do with itself. Many parts are good, and I think that RUMPELSTILTSKIN was one of those 'sleeper' hits of the year. This one gets 3/5.