- Daniel Feeld: It's the feeling that everything, so to say, out there has been prearranged, and all you have is a sliver of stage to act on. I don't know what to call it.
- Anna Griffiths: Paranoia?
- Daniel Feeld: Ha! I've always wanted to be an artsy fartsy arsehole, Anna. That's why I subscribe to that wonderful magazine, what's it called? Sight and Sound!
- Arthur 'Pig' Mallion: I don't give a pint of horse piss about your private life! This is where you get paid, this is where you bring your pretty little arse, on time!
- Ian: [Editing] Can I say this?
- Nick Balmer: Of course.
- Ian: ...Och, you're fond of the wee lassy, the noo.
- Nick Balmer: What are you saying? Take your kilt off!
- Ian: I'm saying, Nick, that it shows!
- Daniel Feeld: But it's the crucial, comic, character defining moment. "Each night I ask the stars up above, why must I be a teenager in love?"
- Anna Griffiths: It's too on the nose.
- Daniel Feeld: Yes, right bang on the snoz, love!
- Arthur 'Pig' Mallion: Listen, if you've dropped me in it, you're not going to like the look of your pretty face any more, and that's a promise.
- Linda Langer: Don't say that, Arthur, please.
- Consultant: An obstruction in the pancreas.
- Daniel Feeld: Is that a euphemism, don't you mean growth?
- Consultant: Ah, but we don't know if it's benign or malignant.
- Daniel Feeld: An obstruction. Well, it's what I've always wanted to be.
- Anna Griffiths: You live alone, don't you Daniel?
- Daniel Feeld: No wife. No partner. No family. No friends. The occasional sleazy, all but commercial sneezelike bonk with someone preferably with more to lose than I do. And a capacity for minding my own business! Why do you ask?
- Anna Griffiths: Because it makes you forget how to talk to people, how to treat your colleagues.
- Daniel Feeld: I have a Dinner Meeting with Flap-flap-twit-twit Anna! She'll humbugger on about drinking too!
- Anna Griffiths: Why do places do that? Muzak or whatever.
- Daniel Feeld: Divert the bored? Comfort the lonely? No, Showbiz, essence of.
- Daniel Feeld: It's called Cryptomnesia
- Sandra Sollars: Sounds nasty!
- Daniel Feeld: So I'm not Psychic or whatever you were afraid of.
- Daniel Feeld: I'm a writer. I put words into other people's mouths. But it's not just words into people's mouths, it's not just words on a page. I can make them do things! Like lie to each other, or screw, or kill! Yes, it's you Sandra! They're going to kill you!
- Dining Gentleman: We're trapped in our own longing.
- Remembered Voice of Lost Love, attributed to a lookalike: I see your pain, dear, but can do nothing. I simply endure as you have endured.
- Dining Gentleman: Oh, it's the fan! I thought I was getting a message from somewhere...
- Ben Baglin: When tears come down, like roaring pain, you'll toss around, and nall my came...
- Nick Balmer: Let's go to that Huggermugger across the road.
- Ian: What?
- Nick Balmer: Wine Bar.
- Ian: If only the English could speak Plain English, eh? But that'd really give the game away...
- Daniel Feeld: [punches Nick in the face] Now look Nick! It's "Why must I be a teenager in LOVE"!
- Nick Balmer: You know, I think that song is so right...
- Nick Balmer: When a particular obsession breaks down, you see a glimmer of something called Dignity.
- Linda Langer: I don't know what you're talking about!
- Nick Balmer: No, I don't suppose you do.
- Daniel Feeld: Why don't you let people smoke in here?
- Consultant: They've contracted out the Cleaning Services.
- 1st Hostess: I was looking at you and I fought...
- Daniel Feeld: Who?
- 1st Hostess: Wot?
- Daniel Feeld: Who did you fight?
- [laughs]
- 1st Hostess: Wot you laughing at?
- Daniel Feeld: I've used that line before, but then so have you...
- Bar Shark: I'd hate to see those lovely eyes ruined by all those VDUs.
- Nick Balmer: [snooping body language] Doesn't want him.
- Yuppie: I thought what could it be? AIDS or the Big C? He said it's worse: he's undercapitalised!
- Payphone Lady: He said what do you call a Fish with no eyes? A Fsh! No "I"s, see! I was in stitches!
- Daniel Feeld: Will you be long?
- [she turns her back on him]
- Arthur 'Pig' Mallion: [over the phone] Hold off on the last bit of booting, and not in the throat. Just make sure he gets the fucking message.