- Eliza D'Amico: Maybe she's desperately in love with him.
- Rita Malone: Don't be ridiculous. Nobody's desperately in love.
- Libby: [telling Eliza about her ex-boyfriend] The fact that this is the first time I'm seeing him in 1 year, 2 months and 19 days is probably why I'm drinking more gin-and-tonics than a boatful of WASPs at the Hyannisport Regatta!
- Amy Corinne Fairbright-Lebow: I find it odd to be experiencing such feelings of joy in association with a book that is principally a devastating account of spiritual asphyxiation.
- Eddie Masler: Are you an author?
- Eliza D'Amico: No.
- Eddie Masler: Too bad. You'd look good on a book jacket.
- Chap: We need to open another bottle of vodka. It seems that you put most of the last bottle in your mouth.
- Rita Malone: So he's a man, with a dog's head, and no hands.
- Carl: Exactly. A pointer who can't point.
- Rita Malone: I see Carl doesn't find it necessary to deface himself.
- Jo Malone: Carl, show mom your nipples.