- Chad Leary: Producers, man. You wanna know about producers? There are these three guys, there's an architect, a mathematics professor at UCLA and a movie producer. Now these guys have been arguing for years about who's got the smartest dog, see? So finally they decide to go to the architect's house, take everything out of the garage and put a pile of bones in the middle of the empty space and send the dogs in, one at a time, and judge their intelligence by how they react to the bones. Okay. First up is the mathematics professor's dog. He lays all the bones out in a row, barks six times - he's counted them - one smart dog! Next, the architect's dog; he walks around the bones, picks them up in his teeth, one at a time, piles them up - hey, pretty impressive! Now, the movie producer's dog; crushes the bones, sniffs them up his nose, fucks the other two dogs and leaves - without even saying "thank you". Now, that my friend, is all you need to know about movie producers.