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Francis Capra and Shaquille O'Neal in Kazaam (1996)

Quotes

Kazaam

Edit
  • Kazaam: [while rapping] Let's green egg and ham it!
  • Kazaam: That's not a wish, that's an insult!
  • Kazaam: Who dare to wake me? Ain't gonna mame this a mystery. Don't wanna do time on your wishes three. Watch it, boy! You don't want to dis me! Or I'll dish out my misery. Now. who's that sorry wanna-be that disturbed my z's? If you wanna be number one, I'm sorry boy, that's been done! But if you got the itches for a sack of riches don't matter how avaricious, I'm the man that can grant your wishes! Hey, don't turn your butt on me! I'm the man of the ages, straight out of the pages. Hang on! I'm contagious, outrageous, spontaneous! You can't contain this. I am KAZAAM!
  • Max Connor: I'm really happy for you.
  • Kazaam: Where do you think you're going? Make your three wishes and I'm of your face, back in my box and out of this place.
  • Max Connor: listen Mr. Psychopathic Dork in the Basement, I don't think you're ordering anyone.
  • Kazaam: Do you realize who I am? I'm your genie!
  • Max Connor: In that case I wish i was as big as you, but not so stupid
  • Kazaam: I am... Kazaam!
  • Kazaam: Grab my belly and make a wish.
  • Nick Connor: You get no second chances in life, no second chances.
  • Max Connor: [after he wishes for junk-food to come out of the sky] So... tell me that wasn't a wish.
  • Kazaam: Like the main man did with the loaves and the fish?
  • Max Connor: Yeah... hey... stop rhyming, o.k.
  • Kazaam: [lifting malik by the neck] Now, where's Max?
  • Malik: Uh... du... du... du... uh... he... uh... he went down that shaft.
  • Kazaam: WHAT?
  • Malik: Umm... uh... uh... there was nothin I could do, now put me down...
  • [starts choking]
  • Malik: ... I'm afraid of heights.
  • Kazaam: Wish not granted!
  • [Shapes Malik into a basketball, and then slam-dunks him into the Air duct]
  • Max Connor: I wish I had junk food from here to the sky!
  • Kazaam: Why not? Higher than high?
  • Alice Connor: That's right, it's poisoned. I figured if I ended your suffering, mine would end too.
  • Max Connor: You smell like hippopotamus butt.
  • Kazaam: Is that a wish?
  • Kazaam: Don't get all hysterical! Say thank you for your miracle!
  • Kazaam: [singing] Ah, ah, ah, ah! Being a guy! Being a guy!
  • Max Connor: Until I make those last two wishes... I *own* you, don't I?
  • Kazaam: [frowning] Technically.

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