Snowboard Academy

Snowboard Academy is a decidedly bad, uninspired "comedy" (there was once a time when that word was reserved for movies that were actually funny). The sole bright spot here is the underrated (yes, that's right, think about it for a moment) Jim Varney, who tries hard, though it is hardly enough to even begin to save this film. I don't know how this movie could have been released so widely, as it's little more than a *barely* dressed up B movie, chock full of has been stars. This was Haim's last widely released film, thankfully, as his career started well then dropped dramatically after The Lost Boys. Can't say I've heard of the female lead (Brigitte somebody) before, and with a performance like this, I'm sure this'll be the last time I see her. Thought I might as well point out the editing, which is actually half decent, if only the footage was good enough to match it.

Pass on this one folks, there's (read carefully) nothing to see here

"Snowboard Academy", allegedly a comedy, is not funny. I don't mean, not "ha-ha" funny; I don't mean, not funny to certain sensibilities; I just mean plain, flat-out, empirically not funny. Jokes fall flatter than week-old cola. Actors soldier onward mindlessly -- I would call their performances workmanlike, but that would be insulting to workmen. We're talking a major step down from the Ernest flicks here. Even the snowboard stunts are lame and repetitive. Don't expect to see progressive technical riding here; just look for backflip after backflip. This movie is an insult to the intelligence of all who see it.

Shepphird's Snowboard Academy pays homage to early Stanley Kubrick films, such as Killer's Kiss, Paths of Glory and Ski Patrol. This time out, the stellar cast includes Joe Flaherty, Corey Haim, and Jim Varney (showing his range by NOT playing Ernest in this film). The sexual undertones are rampant, from Haim's coy galnces at anything in a skirt to Varney's poem, "I once knew a woman from Russia, whose butt was so big it could crush ya." Haim is refreshing to see here, fresh from whatever eighties movie he made before this one, playing the rebellious teen so convincingly, we almost believe he's apathetic. I don't think Alec Guinness was in this one, but if he had been asked, he undoubtedly would have turned it down.

Have you ever watched one of those movies where, after about 30 minutes, you realize that you really, really wish that the capable actors in it were in something a bit better written? This is one of those movies. Now, actors like Varney, Haim, and Nielsen are usually not given much in the way of regard but each is capable of a decent performance in a decent movie. We're not talking DeNiro or Kidman here, just actors capable of doing a decent job. Sadly, they get cast in utter crap like this. If you're a die-hard fan of these actors, it might be worth watching. If not, carefully put the video box down and back away slowly.

Matt

I thought previously I had seen the worst comedy of all time when I endured Going Overboard. Now I'm not so sure.

This movie has a storyline and script so inane it may cause you mental anguish. If you suffer from depression I urge you to avoid this like the plague as it's just possible it could send you over the edge. It's a comedy with no funny bits. In fact the writers come up with the woeful idea of a resort comedian whose act is completely unfunny. If there's one thing a comedy this bad doesn't need, it's an intentionally unfunny character. The unfunny comedian is portrayed by Jim Varney in a toe-curlingly horrible performance; although it's just possible that Varney is outdone by John Ross, who plays an uptight scheming skier in a performance that is so atrocious it's an instrument of evil. You know a movie is in trouble when the best acting comes courtesy of Brigitte Neilson and Corey Haim.

If you are a snowboarder or a skier I implore you to avoid the temptation of watching this atrocity. It is not a good advert for winter sports.

Me and my friends have a bad movie night and this is why I have seen this dreck. So as a public service I feel duty bound to warn other people to avoid this rubbish. I've watched it so you don't have to. If you absolutely have to watch this be warned that you will have more fun setting fire to your genitals.