- Terry: Yeah, I don't know what I'm gonna do when I don't get those middle-of-the-night phone calls to bring you your diaphragm.
- Gwen: Well, what if I promise not to do that... as much?
- Terry: You're welcome to have coffee but you're just going to have to make it yourself.
- Gwen: I don't even like to buy it myself.
- Terry: His jokes are like Hee Haw without the irony!
- Danny: ...I was home alone watching one of those specials. I think it was 'America's Funniest Police Beatings' or something.
- Terry: [to Rick] I'm Terry. Just plain Terry. I'm not a person of the cloth because then I would be Terry Cloth!
- Terry: I think these three seminary students were flirting with me!
- Gwen: Really? Well those boys must have missed orientation day!
- Danny: When we were growing up, Mickey and I both wanted to be firemen. But then one day at camp, my marshmallow caught on fire and I screamed and ran into the lake.
- Danny: Do those guys look interesting to you?
- Terry: So, the door swings open!
- Terry: [to Gwen] I'm gonna kill you! And if your Prince Charming ever comes and kisses you gently on the lps and wakes you up, I'm gonna kill ya again!
- Danny: [to Gwen] You have a mother? Wow, what must she be like...
- Terry: [to Gwen] It's too bad there's not a rephrase button on there
- [the phone]
- Terry: .