A ship with Aztec treasure is found adrift. Captain Ramsey's crew battles a creature guarding the cursed treasure as greed and paranoia spread among them.A ship with Aztec treasure is found adrift. Captain Ramsey's crew battles a creature guarding the cursed treasure as greed and paranoia spread among them.A ship with Aztec treasure is found adrift. Captain Ramsey's crew battles a creature guarding the cursed treasure as greed and paranoia spread among them.
Leonard Donato
- Chief Engineer Anderson
- (as Len Donato)
Cole S. McKay
- Captain Jameson
- (as Cole McKay)
- Director
- Writer
- All cast & crew
- Production, box office & more at IMDbPro
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The premise of looted (and cursed) Aztec treasure found on a drifting ship has promise to be deliciously scary. Unfortunately, the Haunted Sea doesn't fulfil the promise. Can be amusing if you look for scenes and stunts from good Sci-Fi and horror movies, and try to guess the next lame plot device to bare Ms. Allen's not-inconsiderable mammary gifts. Without a single original idea, character, scene or word, this movie is so bad you'll keep watching it to see if it can get any worse-and it does! Makes you wonder what ended up on the cutting room floor (now that is scary!).
The sea isn't *haunted*, so much as it is inhabited by an abandoned ship home to a gassy-sounding, rubbery, dinosaur-looking creature who is supposed to be the feathered, winged serpent known as Quetzacoatl. Apparently, the filmmakers didn't do their homework on that one, because its physical description, as well as the spelling of its name, are incorrect herein. Eventually, a small crew board the ship and discover a crate filled with a curiously lightweight gold statue. Several times, top-heavy Krista Allen imagines herself jiggling and bouncing topless during some sort of sacrificial offering, before the statue shock/ possesses one of their number, who turns into a fanged, belching, slobbering demon, and rips them to shreds, eventually turning into what this film calls "Queztacoatl".
Lengthy tracking shots during opening credits only serve to pad out the film's brief run time, as does Krista Allen's shower scene and plentiful nude scenes (I counted three in the first fifteen minutes) . Krista has a great body, but should either stick to doing porn, or at least get better screenplays to work with. The camera jiggles almost as much as her huge rack does, which makes it difficult to figure out what little is happening on-screen.
The final shot is intended to be a shock twist ending, but it only made me groan. Furthermore, it is held for such a long time that any surprise which might have been is slowly driven away by boredom.
Lengthy tracking shots during opening credits only serve to pad out the film's brief run time, as does Krista Allen's shower scene and plentiful nude scenes (I counted three in the first fifteen minutes) . Krista has a great body, but should either stick to doing porn, or at least get better screenplays to work with. The camera jiggles almost as much as her huge rack does, which makes it difficult to figure out what little is happening on-screen.
The final shot is intended to be a shock twist ending, but it only made me groan. Furthermore, it is held for such a long time that any surprise which might have been is slowly driven away by boredom.
Most low budget ALIEN copies try to camouflage the fact they're copies by setting them in some exotic locale. We have gotten ALIEN underwater (LEVIATHAN, DEEPSTAR SIX, etc.), underground (MIND RIPPER), in a jungle (PREDATOR), on post-holocaust earth (CREEPOZOIDS), in skyscrapers (PROJECT: METALBEAST) and basically anywhere where people in a confined space are stalked and killed off by a big FX monster. It's all the same. Some are good, some are OK and some are terrible. This one (set on an abandoned boat) falls into the latter category, but gets some major unintentional laughs thanks mainly to the awful creature design.
Here (in case anyone cares), an ancient Aztec statue turns a guy into a terrible looking, floppy-handed lizard creature who attacks and kills off most of the cast. Flashbacks to an Aztec temple (using badly incorporated stock footage) are just an excuse to get big-breasted star Krista Allen out of her clothes (not a bad thing). Joanna Pacula deserves to be in better movies. James Brolin deserves his eventual fate (marriage to *ARGHHH!* Barbra Streisand!)
Score: 2 out of 10
Here (in case anyone cares), an ancient Aztec statue turns a guy into a terrible looking, floppy-handed lizard creature who attacks and kills off most of the cast. Flashbacks to an Aztec temple (using badly incorporated stock footage) are just an excuse to get big-breasted star Krista Allen out of her clothes (not a bad thing). Joanna Pacula deserves to be in better movies. James Brolin deserves his eventual fate (marriage to *ARGHHH!* Barbra Streisand!)
Score: 2 out of 10
Yes it's true that is the main reason I watched this "film" the beautiful Joanna Pacula. Unfortunately apart from this, this is a pretty dismal film. Even the nudity of the other actress (Krista Allen) doesn't help, she's pretty awful to be honest.
The whole film is pretty pants, the crew of a film find a mysterious vessel and when some of the crew board it they find no crew but plenty of ancient loot. They intend to steal it, bad idea pals. Another problem is most of the crew are unlikeable so who cares when they get bumped off, as for the Monster, well it's so awful it's amazing it got filmed at all.
Poor Joanna having to appear in this guff, she must've needed the money.
The whole film is pretty pants, the crew of a film find a mysterious vessel and when some of the crew board it they find no crew but plenty of ancient loot. They intend to steal it, bad idea pals. Another problem is most of the crew are unlikeable so who cares when they get bumped off, as for the Monster, well it's so awful it's amazing it got filmed at all.
Poor Joanna having to appear in this guff, she must've needed the money.
The other user comment for this movie says it all, except that Barbra Streisand should forbid hubby James Brolin from ever again attempting an Irish accent.
And then there's that gimme cap on the noggin of the usually glamorous, decidedly non-butch Joanna Pacula.
MST3K is gone, sad to say. This would have been perfect fodder.
And then there's that gimme cap on the noggin of the usually glamorous, decidedly non-butch Joanna Pacula.
MST3K is gone, sad to say. This would have been perfect fodder.
Did you know
- TriviaLike his other films, producer Roger Corman wanted scenes with naked women included. When they approached Krista Allen, she wanted the role, but was in no mood to do any nudity. She had just finished spending several years making seven Emmanuelle films where she spent most of her time stark naked and having simulated sex. Director Dan Golden told her the nudity was non negotiable and she finally but reluctantly agreed. Golden then shot too long scenes of her totally naked in a shower and a fantasy scene of her topless being sacrificed by some ancient Aztecs first because he didn't want to risk her changing her mind later.
- GoofsThe correct spelling is Quetzalcoatl, not Queztacoatl.
- Quotes
Andy Delgado: Hades? Ain't that an old timey word for hell?
- ConnectionsReferenced in Best of the Worst: Our VHS Collection (2019)
- How long is The Haunted Sea?Powered by Alexa
Details
- Runtime
- 1h 13m(73 min)
- Color
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