Hank Azaria credited as playing...
Albert Freedman
- Albert Freedman: If you were a kid, would you wanna be an annoying Jewish guy with a side wall haircut?
- Charles Van Doren: Well I wanted to be Joe Dimaggio.
- Albert Freedman: Oh yeah, me too. Especially after he signed for that hundred grand.
- Dan Enright: Charlie, Charlie, the only people who can implicate you directly are all in this room, just think about that, okay?
- Albert Freedman: You think that noodge is going to get me to talk?
- Charles Van Doren: He may be a noodge but he first in his class at Harvard Law School.
- Albert Freedman: [Making a masturbation gesture with this hand] Oh, Harvard.
- Charles Van Doren: I'm just trying to imagine what Kant would make of this.
- Albert Freedman: I don't think he'd have a problem with it.
- Dan Enright: He blames Charles Van Doren for his downfall. And of course, the real downfall of Herbert Stempel has always been Herbert Stempel.
- Albert Freedman: Herbert Stempel, absolutely. Well, you met him. Does he seem stable to you?
- Dick Goodwin: Well, I definitely have an inkling of what you're talking about. He told me this whole story about how when a Jew is on the show, he always loses to a gentile, and then the gentile wins more money. Right? I mean, who could dream up a scheme like that?
- Dan Enright: A symptom of his Van Doren fixation!
- Dick Goodwin: The thing of it is... I looked it up. It's true.