- Dr. Animal: The killer's name is Antonio and he hates his mother.
- Joe: Why?
- Dr. Animal: Maybe 'cause she's a pain in the ass! Did you ever think about that?
- Antonio: The tension was so thick, and the music so pretentious, they knew they must be getting close...
- Antonio: "Alone, on a private plane, Agent Joe finally decides" oh no, wait, wait, forget it... sorry, this scene was cut.
- Dwarf Guard: Dr. Animal's intelligence goes beyond the borders of the human mind. His savagery goes beyond the borders of the animal!
- Joe: How could he go beyond so many borders without a passport?
- Dr. Animal: Call me A.
- Joe: A?
- Dr. Animal: Also, call me Doctor.
- Joe: A Doctor.
- Dr. Animal: Doctor A!
- Joe: Right sorry, Doctor A.
- Dr. Animal: Bingo.
- Joe: Doctor A. Bingo?
- Dr. Animal: Moving on.
- Antonio: [Balsam's car won't start] Goodbye.
- Detective Martin Balsam: Goodbye.
- Antonio: Goodbye
- Detective Martin Balsam: Goodbye.
- Antonio: Goodbye.
- Detective Martin Balsam: Goodbye.
- Antonio: Goodbye.
- Detective Martin Balsam: Goodbye.
- [Several hours later Balsam's car finally starts]
- Antonio: Goodbye.
- [Balsam drives away]
- Antonio: What a jerk, he left without saying "goodbye"!
- Jo: Maybe that lady didn't kill her, maybe it was a mistake
- Lily Wine: Oh, if only it were...
- Jo: That's right, maybe Antonio killed her
- Lily Wine: No...
- Jo: Or she could have got run over by a truck
- Lily Wine: No!
- Jo: She could have got eaten by a cannibal, on a California vacation... any one of these, really... OR...
- Lily Wine: Gasps
- Jo: There's always the possibility of being torn to shreds by a harvester
- Lily Wine: wraps her hands around Joe's throat to choke him
- Jo: She could have fallen in to a vat of sulfuric acid, really it could have been any one of these things!
- Antonio: I have to go and take a shower, because I smell like Kevin Costner after "Dances with wolves".
- Antonio: Yes, I'm not a liar. I tell you the trout.
- Detective Martin Balsam: The 'truth', I want the 'truth'.
- Antonio: It's not a problem. Okay.
- [Picks up a stuffed trout from under the front desk]
- Antonio: Here it is, the 'truth'.
- The Ranger: I forgot to tell ya. Antonio's mother asked me to tell you to stop howling under her window at night.