- Freakazoid: Cosgrove, how come you never got married?
- Cosgrove: Because I like meat too much.
- Freakazoid: You can get married and still eat a lot of meat.
- Cosgrove: ...I didn't know that.
- [Lord Bravery stands under an arch, next to a chorus of British policemen]
- British Policemen: [sings] He feels no pain, he can fly quite fast / In feats of strength, he is unsurpassed / His grip is firm, never wavery / Britannia's superhero, he's Lord Bravery! Lord Bravery, Lord Bravery, Lord Bravery!
- [the singing causes the arch to collapse on top of Lord Bravery]
- Lord Bravery: Oh, let's just get on with it...
- [theme song]
- Chorus: Super-teen extraordinaire, Freakazoid! Freakazoid! / Runs around in his underwear, Freakazoid! Freakazoid! / Rescues Washington DC, Freakazoid! Freakazoid! / Unless something's better on TV, Freakazoid! Freakazoid! / His brain is overloading, it has a chocolate coating / Textbook case for Sigmund Freud, Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
- Chorus: Check out Dexter Douglas, nerd computer ace / Went surfing on the Internet and was zapped in cyberspace / He turned into the Freakazoid! He's strong and super-quick! / He drives the villains crazy, 'cause he's a lunatic!
- Chorus: His home base is the Freakalair, Freakazoid! Fricassee! / Floyd the Barber cuts his hair, Freakazoid! Chimpanzee! / Rides around in the Freakmobile, Freakazoid! Freakazoo! / Hopes to make a movie deal, Freaka-me! Freaka-you! / He's here to save the nation, so stay tuned to this station / If not, we'll be unemployed, Freakazoid! Freakazoid! Freakazoid!
- [Left alone at a "Gulliver" show]
- Professor Jones: Freakazoid? Where are you?
- [pause]
- Professor Jones: Oh, the pain, the pain.
- [c.f.]
- Professor Jones: [link=tt0058824] ]
- Cosgrove: How come you don't say anything useful?
- Professor Jones: How come you have the IQ of a biscuit?
- Cosgrove: [raising his fist] How would you like me to twist your body into funny balloon animal shapes?
- Professor Jones: [laughs nervous] Perhaps I misspoke.