- Tick: It's your turn now, Thorace-bog.
- Thrakkorzog: It's Thrakkorzog. Thrakkorzog. With a K.
- Tick: We're only serving humble pie, Whatchamazog.
- Thrakkorzog: For the last time, it's...
- Tick: Thorax-and-a-bog. Four-yacks-and-a-dog.
- Thrakkorzog: No.
- Tick: Ah, laxative-log.
- Thrakkorzog: No, no, no.
- Tick: Sapsucker-frog.
- Thrakkorzog: Thrakkorzog.
- Tick: Susan?
- Thrakkorzog: Now you're doing it on purpose. How juvenile.
- Tick: And, isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit.
- Tick: Everybody was a baby once, Arthur. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once. Babies, chum: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope. And you've got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception.
- [The Tick is has an eating utensil in his hand. He is trying to come up with a battle cry that will strike terror into the hearts of evil-doers]
- Tick: [shouts] Spoon!
- [seeing a mass of "Ho-Ho-Ho"-ing Santas rush towards him like a wave]
- Tick: [shouting] It's a Yule tide!
- Bi-Polar Bear: This looks like a job for Bi-Polar Bear... but I just cant seem to get out of bed.
- Tick: Arthur, you have no historical perspective. Science in those days worked in broad strokes. They got right to the point. Nowadays, it's all just molecule, molecule, molecule. Nothing ever happens big.
- Tick: Destiny's powerful hand has made the bed of my future, and it's up to me to lie in it. I am destined to be a superhero. To right wrongs, and to pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evildoers everywhere. And you don't fight destiny. No sir. And, you don't eat crackers in the bed of your future, or you get all... scratchy.
- Tick: Well, folks, there you have it. A day in the life of a superhero and his sidekick. It's a very long day, the tights are uncomfortable; I think we covered that before. Map light, convenient and essential. A lot of working of villain motifs. Crime has a Bossa Nova beat. Leap before you look. Remember denouement. Other French words: inconvenient, nonessential... oh... I could go on and on... But time's a-wasting and evil's out there making hand-crafted mischief for the swap meet of villainy. And you can't strike a good deal with evil. No matter how much you haggle. We don't need to look for a bargain; goodness is cheap because it's free, and free is as cheap as it gets. Cut. What was that pig about?
- Arthur: Are you aware your roommate is a hideous monster from another dimension with evil plans for world domination?
- Thrakkorzog's roommate: Listen, a good roommate relationship is based on a respect for privacy.
- Interviewer: Well, can you... blow up the world?
- Tick: Egad. I hope not. That's where I keep all my stuff.
- The Evil Midnight Bomber: So she says to me, do you wanna be a BAD boy? And I say YEAH baby YEAH! Surf's up space ponies! I'm makin' gravy... Without the lumps. HAAA-ha-ha-ha!
- Tick: I don't know the meaning of the word "surrender". I mean, I know it, I'm not dumb... just not in this context.
- Tick: Deadly Bulb. I'm about to write you a reality check. Or would you prefer the cold, hard cash of truth?
- Tick: Wait a minute, you. I heard about people like you. Are you saying you don't believe in Santa Claus? And you call yourselves superheroes?
- Tick: You know, Arthur, it's really been quite a day. On the outside, oh, sure, we were pursued by Swiss Industrial Spies, trapped in the belly of a whale. But what really pursued us? Where were we really trapped? C'mon, Arthur. Get meta with me. What pursued us were our own obsessions. I'm good, you're evil. I'm a superhero, you're a sidekick. I'm a woman, you're a man. What does it all mean? Nothing. And where were we all trapped? I'll tell you where, Arthur. In the belly of Love - Love, Chum, Love.
- Tick: [to Little Wooden Boy] Yes, you know Little Wooden Boy, the worst sin in the world is disloyalty. You wouldn't lie to me, would you, Little Wooden Boy?
- Thrakkorzog: Cloning is a precise science. That's why I use the Clonerizer. It costs more, but you get what you pay for. My own recipe calls for a generous portion of Dr. Thrakk's Secret Cloning Sauce, a pinch of oregano, 'cause you know a little goes a long way, and last, but not least, your toenail. Mix well aaaaand voila.
- Tick: Well, once again, my friend, we find that science is a two-headed beast. One head is nice, it gives us aspirin and other modern conveniences... But the other head of science is bad. Oh, beware the other head of science, Arthur. It bites.
- Tick: And so, Arthur, we learned that gambling is bad and yet in a certain sense, isn't life itself a gamble? You can never be sure of anything. Like who would have thought that dolphins could go bad and that fish were magnetic? Not me, no sir, not me.
- Tick: I am mighty. I have a glow you cannot see. I have a heart as big as the moon. As warm as bathwater. We are superheroes, men, we don't have time to be charming. The boots of evil were made for walkin'. We're watching the big picture, friend. We know the score. We are a public service, not glamour boys. Not captains of industry. Keep your vulgar moneys. We are a justice sandwich. No toppings necessary. Living rooms of America, do you catch my drift? Do you dig?
- Tick: The human mind is a dangerous plaything, boys. When it's used for evil, watch out. But when it's used for good, then things are much nicer.
- [Tongue-Tongue has been transfered into Arthur's body]
- Dr. Mung-Mung: He weeps for he has but one small tongue with which to taste an entire world.
- Tick's Brain: Tick, this is your mind speaking.
- Tick: Oh. Hello.
- Tick's Brain: Sorry I haven't been around much lately but I'm easily distracted by shiny objects.