- [Lena is knocking on doors at the motel looking for Evie and Randy and finds two elderly women in one room]
- Lena: Hi, I'm looking for two teenage girls.
- Old Lady: Did our husbands send you?
- Randy: I don't want to shock you or anything, but I really want to hold your hand right now. I've been wanting to hold your hand all day.
- Evie: I've held hands with a girl before.
- Randy: With a girl like me?
- Evie: No I guess not. But what's the worst that could happen?
- Randy: We could get the shit kicked out of us is all.
- Evie: Just for holding hands? I don't believe that.
- Randy: God Evie, you are so sheltered.
- Evie: [holding out her hand] Then unshelter me.
- Randy: I'll have a beer.
- Waitress: What kind?
- Randy: A Mick.
- Waitress: A what?
- Randy: A Mick... ya know, Michelob?
- Waitress: You got ID?
- Randy: [pretends to look for ID] Shit, ya know, I must've left it at work.
- Waitress: No ID, no Mick.
- Randy: Alright then, I'll have a cup of joe.
- Waitress: A what?
- [both girls look at her incredulously]
- Waitress: Just kidding, two cups of coffee coming up.
- Randy: Everyone's got to be a kidder.
- Evelyn Roy: We're having a little crisis on our hands. We're trying to get Evie to come out with her new friend... Randy?
- Friend: Randy's already out, Mrs. Roy.
- Friend #2: I don't think that's what she meant.
- Friend: God, Evie, if you were going to turn gay, you'd think you could at least choose someone's who's pretty.
- Evie: I didn't say I was gay. I said I was in love.
- Evelyn Roy: Evie, do you have something you want to tell me?
- Evie: What? No.
- Evelyn Roy: Honey, if you can't tell me, you can't tell anyone. You know that.
- Evie: Mom, why is it that every time I try to separate from you, which is a totally normal adolescent impulse, and in fact, crucial to my adult development, you come back with that weird thing about me telling you what I can't tell the rest of the world?
- Frank: I swear I don't know where they are.
- Regina: Frank, do you want us to torture you, or what?
- Frank: You already are torturing me.
- Vicky: Don't hurt him, darling.
- Evelyn Roy: Frank, you have to tell us where they are. We have a major crisis on our hands.
- Lena: I'll let you borrow my boxing gloves, Frank.
- Frank: Oh Jeez.
- Hayjay: Why do you always make everything an intellectual thing? You never see things from an emotional point of view.
- Friend: Um, you know, you should see if you can get that movie on video, Evie. It was pretty good.
- Hayjay: Evie, why haven't we seen each other?
- Evie: Why? Why is the sky blue, okay? Why does the earth turn? Why are people the way they are? Why isn't anyone fighting for change?
- Hayjay: I don't know.
- Evie: Why does Ted always tell you what to do? Why do you always listen to him?
- Hayjay: Wait a minute, I'm asking you a simple question. It deserves a simple answer.
- Randy: I think proms are stupid.
- Vicky: God, I would've given anything to go to the prom if I had a girlfriend in high school.
- Lena: I went to the prom with a girl.
- Vicky: Going with your sister doesn't count, Lena.
- Lena: She's a good dancer.
- Regina: Don't tell me you wouldn't want to go to the prom with your girlfriend, Randy.
- Randy: First off, I don't have a girlfriend. Second off, I think proms are stupid. And third off, if I went to the prom, I would go with Frank.
- Lena: Frank's a good dancer.
- Evie: Listen, if you guys can't handle it, then you can just dump me right now and not be my friends any more. I'm telling you though, I am still the same Evie. If you can't take it, then you can just get up and leave and we'll never have to speak again.
- Randy: [Practicing what to say to Evie] Hey, Evie, you wanna meet my weird family and eat organic pasta at my house?