Quotes

Jeffrey

Darius: Just think of AIDS as the guest that won't leave, the one we all hate. But you have to remember: Hey! It's still our party.

Jeffrey: I just hate that gay role models are supposed to be just like straight people. As if even straight people are like that!
Sterling: That is so true! I was watching these two guys on Nightline on Gay Pride Day, and one of them said "Hi. I'm Bob Wheeler, I'm an attorney. And this is my lover, and he's a surgeon. And we would like to show America that all gays are not limp-wristed, screaming queens. There are gay truck drivers and gay cops and gay lumberjacks," and I just thought, "Ooh! Get her!"

Darius: Who's Martha Stewart?
Sterling: She writes picture books about gracious living. Martha says that nothing else matters if you can do a nice dried floral arrangement. I worship her.
Darius: And, um, who's Ann Miller?
Sterling: Leave this house.

[Father Dan has just tried to kiss Jeffrey]
Jeffrey: Wait! You're really a priest?
Father Dan: Of course.
Jeffrey: But... I mean, aren't you supposed to be straight and celibate?
Father Dan: Maybe you didn't hear me. I'm a CATHOLIC priest. Historically, that falls somewhere between chorus boy and florist.

Skip Winkley: Who is your biggest sexual fantasy?
Barney's Waiter: [wipes the side of his mouth seductively] Den-ZEL Washington.
Jeffrey: The guy at the gym.
Sterling: Yoko Ono.
[everyone looks at Sterling with a suprised look]
Sterling: To see the apartment!

Debra Moorhouse: It all goes back to mother, doesn't it? Did you love your mother?
Acolyte: Yes.
Debra Moorhouse: Don't lie to me. I'll call her.

Sterling: You know, Darius once said you were the saddest person he knew.
Jeffrey: Why did he say that?
Sterling: Because he was sick. He had a fatal disease. And he was a million times happier than you.

Darius: Yes, I am in CATS. Now and forever. The way I see it, I was too young for Chorus Line, and too "happy" for Les Mis. I never did get that show. It's about a guy, who steals a loaf of bread, and then suffers for the rest of his life. For toast! Get over it.

Darius: I love the Nutcracker. You know when I was a kid I was always afraid of the dancing mice. Now I'm a cat.
Sterling: His therapist is ecstatic.

[opening lines]
Jeffrey: [voice over] I love sex. It's just one of the truly great ideas. I mean, just the fact that our bodies have this built-in capacity for joy, oh it makes me love God. Yes!

Jeffrey: I will find a substitute for sex. Sex Lite. Sex Helper. I Can't Believe It's Not Sex!

Sterling: [putting on a red shawl] Can I do this, or will I look like some sort of gay superhero?

Sterling: Two cappuccinos. Thank you, darling. Big kiss. The earring - fun... last year.

Church Lady #1: How dare you give up sex when there are children in Europe who can't get a date?
Church Lady #2: There is only one real blasphemy - the refusal of joy! Of a corsage and a kiss!

Jeffrey: I'm working an AIDS memorial. Another one. Curator for the Met. The usual assortment of people. His straight brother. His doctor. His gorgeous Italian boyfriend.
Jeffrey: [suddenly dawns on him] Oh my God. I'm so disgusting. You know what I'm doing? I'm cruising a memorial!
Sterling: Oh please. We all are. It's not that we're that we're not sad, it's just there's all these guys here.

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