Randy Quaid credited as playing...
Cousin Eddie
- Hoover Dam Guide: Welcome everyone. I am your dam guide, Arnie. Now I'm about to take you through a fully funtional power plant, so please, no one wander off the dam tour and please take all the dam pictures you want. Now are there any dam questions?
- Cousin Eddie: Yeah, where can I get some damn bait?
- Clark Griswold: Eddie, has anyone ever told you you're bad luck?
- Cousin Eddie: Those were my mother's dying words. But I guess if your body's covered in third degree burns, and your foot's caught in a bear trap, you tend to start talkin' crazy.
- Cousin Eddie: I haven't seen a beatin' like that since somebody stuck a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose.
- Clark Griswold: Thanks for the pick me up Eddie.
- Clark Griswold: Eddie, I gambled away more money than you'll ever understand.
- Cousin Eddie: Try me.
- Clark Griswold: [whispering] Twenty-two thousand eight hundred dollars.
- Cousin Eddie: [shouting] Oh God! Oh God! Oh my shhhhooddd! Oh God! Oh my God!
- Cousin Eddie: That's it Clark... show him who's boss. It's people like you who come here and blow the family nest egg that built this town... not this pretty boy!
- Cousin Eddie: Oh yeah, Yuban Coffee. You know you can sprinkle that stuff on anything? Ice cream, mashed potatoes, or just eat it right out of the can for a quick pick me up.
- Cousin Eddie: Come on, Clark, the night is young... they're giving away free hot sandwiches at the blood bank.
- Cousin Eddie: OH MY GOD... it's Wayne Newton! Can I be your bodyguard? I'd die for ya.
- [stares at Wayne and pats his head]
- Clark Griswold: [inside the sleezy casino] I need to go somewhere a man can think.
- Cousin Eddie: Oh, oh I wouldn't do that here Clark, the stalls are awefully dirty and they're backed up all the time.
- Clark Griswold: No, Eddie, I need to be alone.
- Cousin Eddie: Oh, oh I see, ya want me to go with ya?
- Clark Griswold: Allright,come on.
- Cousin Eddie: It is a blazer out there. You're lucky you got air conditioning in here like mother nature intended.