- Veal Chop: [talking to Same and Eddie about Hannah] I tried to put my tongue in her mouth and she punched me in the penis.
- Hannah's dad: I once sold a woman a pair of exploding slacks.
- Veal Chop: By the time I get home, flip on Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, I'm looking at 36 thousand of his hard earned female deer
- M.C. Victor: From the floor to the ceiling, how ya feeling? From the bris to this, he can't miss. From the Wailing Wall to the reception hall, to all y'all. Put your hands together for Big Fat Bernie Gayle Junior.