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Jerry Doyle in Captain Simian & The Space Monkeys (1996)

Quotes

Captain Simian & The Space Monkeys

Edit
  • Shao Lin: Captain, the fuel supply is at critical.
  • Captain Simian: What? How did that happen?
  • Shao Lin: If I recall, your words were, 'You see the fuel supply as half-empty, I see it as half-full.'
  • Captain Simian: That was a JOKE!
  • Spydor: You lost a baby tooth!
  • Gor-illa: Will it grow back?
  • Spydor: Sure! Quick as a wink!
  • Gor-illa: [winks, feels gums] It's not there, Spydor.
  • Spydor: No, no, big guy, it's just an expression. Means it'll happen in two shakes of a... it'll happen soon.
  • Gor-illa: How soon?
  • Spydor: Eh, before you can say J... ah, I'll get back to you on that.
  • [repeated line, usually referring to the Orbitron]
  • Captain Simian: I've *got* to get that thing fixed.
  • Captain Simian: Orbitron, how close are we to the nearest fuel depot in this galaxy?
  • Orbitron: You should have thought of that before we left home!
  • Captain Simian: [the crew picks the Captain up from the floor] What just happened?
  • Dr. Splitz: Excellent Captain! It would seem that as soon as you lost consciousness, the illusions dissipated.
  • Captain Simian: Wonderful... my proudest moment...
  • Shao Lin: Recording Sector 3879-B Captain.
  • Captain Simian: Log the coordinates.
  • Orbitron: No, no, no! Where's the feeling? These are coordinates! You want them logged. You NEED them logged. Try it again, and this time, make... me... CRY.
  • Spydor: [firing at aliens] Take that ya big tinsel-headed robot mooks!
  • Spydor: [lazers bounce of aliens without effect] Heh - whaddaya know? They took it...
  • Captain Simian: Orbitron, come with me.
  • Orbitron: You like me, you really like me!
  • [Trying to make aliens launch an attack]
  • Captain Simian: [On the P.A] We are the Space Monkeys! Resistance is useless, your weapons are useless!
  • Shao Lin: Captain, they may actually surrender.
  • Captain Simian: [Thinks] You're right.
  • Captain Simian: [On the P.A] That is, we *think* your weapons are useless.
  • General Yot: We are no match for your advanced weapons. We surrender
  • Captain Simian: [Slapping his forehead] I don't *want* you to surrender! How can I convince you we come in peace?
  • [Gor is poked with an electric prod and promtly turns into Gor-mungus and starts destroying the building]
  • Orbitron: Well, that certainly was convincing.
  • [Dr. Splitz has just chimed out a lot of complicated Science jargon]
  • Gor-illa: What does that mean?
  • Dr. Splitz: [as Splitzy] When y'all find out, tell me!
  • [repeated line]
  • Captain Simian: [For no apparent reason] Check!
  • [repeated line]
  • Captain Simian: Strangely soothing.
  • [repeated line]
  • Rhesus 2: Bad brain!
  • [repeated line]
  • Apax: Only in Andromeda!

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