Blood Freak

There are very few horror films that could make me laugh as much as "Blood Freak". The cinematography, script, and especially the ACTING in "Blood Freak" are so mind-blowingly awful that I still laugh at it even after seeing it 50 times. My favorite actors are the guy that owns the turkey farm and his two scientists. Their complete lack of emotion and their stumbling over their own lines (among other things) make me suspect that this movie only filmed ONE TAKE of each scene, regardless of mistakes.

I simply LOVE "Blood Freak" and never get tired of it. I even dig the '70s styling and funky soundtrack. There really aren't any other films like this out there.

I highly recommend "Blood Freak" to fans of unintentional hilarity. It is hard to find this film, but it's worth searching for it.

Certainly one of the strangest and most incredible films ever produced for human consumption. Mere words can not begin to describe this twisted masterpiece. The fantastic plot involves a guy named Hershel (Steve Hawkes) who rides a chopper and looks a bit like Elvis Presley. He meets up with two sisters, one an extremely straight Bible preaching evangelist named Angel who wants to save the world, the other a drug using slut, named Ann, who has the hots for Hershel. Hershel smokes some kind of super addicting pot which causes him to sc**w Ann. He then goes to work for a man who appears to be their father who owns a poultry farm with a built in laboratory run by some dim witted scientists. Hershel then eats a whole turkey provided by the lab which is laced with experimental drugs. He passes out, wakes up as turkey monster, starts killing a strange assortment of people, and drinks their blood. He also has sex with Ann in his turkey outfit while she voices her concerns about having turkey monster children. All throughout the film, a sleazy narrator interrupts things to give the audience confusing philosophical insights about God. It all works out in the end as Hershel finds sobriety, God, love, and poultry. You could spend your whole life trying to find something as bizarre as this film and not succeed.

Where does one even begin when trying to describe this insane film?

Chances are the jargon "turkey monster", "christian", "druggie", "inept scientists", etc. will come up in the process, but I think the word that best sums it up is "amazing".

If taken at face value this would appear to be an over-the-top, ridiculous anti-drug christian scare film, but it seems to me like it's more likely a wierd joke by a sadist with a bizarre sense of humor. The plot is pretty much outlined in the other "Blood Freak" review on this site, but I would recommend this highly for anyone into "I can't believe this movie was ever made" type fare. My favorite element personally is the crusty narrator who occasionally interrupts the movie from what appears to be a suburban family rec room(?) and gives cryptic warnings about the harm of putting chemicals in one's body, all the while puffing away on cigarettes (at one point the guy even breaks out into a heavy coughing fit!). Everything about this is guaranteed to blow even the most jaded video geek's mind, and if you can get your hands on it I recommend it highly. Truly a masterpiece as far as cinematic trash is concerned...

I'm kinda torn on how to rate this movie. On one hand "Blood Freak" has some of the worst "acting" I have ever witnessed on film including a chain smoking narrator that constantly looks down at his script who at one point goes into a serious coughing spell that is not edited out at all. On the other hand this is a one-of-a-kind insane combination of drug propaganda, slasher films, monster movies and Christian evangelism that has never been repeated to this day. With both of these factors in mind I decided on a score between the two which is why I gave it a 5 out of 10.

Steve Hawkes is Steve Hawkes as Herschell. Why they choose to show his name twice is a mystery but make no mistake that Mr. Hawkes is the star of "Blood Freak" as he looks like a combination of Lou Ferrigno and Elvis. Herschell is a biker riding the Florida highways when he meets free spirited Ann who becomes instantly smitten with the soft spoken brute. She takes him to a drug party where he meets Ann's sister Angel who represents the straight and narrow path. Her words of warning to Herschell seem to resonate with him yet after one toke he becomes instantly hooked. Yeah, that happens with marijuana a lot. With his addiction growing and the need to satisfy his fix overpowering Herschell agrees to an absurd experiment where he eats turkey meat that has been tampered with by two scientists that are probably the worst of the so-called actors in this movie. Sure enough the infected meat turns Herschell into a turkey-headed beast that must feed on blood. From here he goes on a murderous rampage of neck slitting and leg hacking that takes "Blood Feast" from simple anti-drug screed into a gory hack-n-slash. To say that somewhere along the line "Blood Freak" got lost in translation is an understatement. How this was supposed to bring more Christians into the fold after watching this is beyond me. For bad movie enthusiasts out there this is THE MOVIE that you must see at least once in order to give you a true barometer as to what is considered bad in the bad way and bad in the awesomely bad way. I only remembered to review this when I stumbled upon Steve Hawkes on an episode of "Fatal Attractions" using his real name of Steve Sipek and his dangerous lifestyle of living with multiple lions and tigers. It's good to know that he continues to live beyond the norm.

Studly, hog-riding Herschell gets reeled into the dope scene by a seductive ravenhaired trollop...a free-spirited hottie who loves the party life, and ignores the cautionary advice of her mousy, churchgoing sister.

Before long, Herschell finds employment at a turkey farm, which also happens to be the locus of some dodgy scientific quackery conducted by a couple of goofy whitecoats. They persuade Herschell to eat some chemically altered turkey meat...he obliges, and transforms into a grotesque, turkey-headed man/bird. As such, he makes gobbling sounds and kills people for a beakful of their blood. Herschell's girlfriend is troubled by his new look, but she wears a brave face and extends supportive reassurance. When her scummy dope pusher violates her, Herschell steps in as her merciless avenger.

The one...the ONLY film of its kind, BLOOD FREAK is among the most nonplussing cinematic anomalies in film history...a preposterous concept reduced even further by impalpably slipshod workmanship...if there is as much as one full second of BLOOD FREAK demonstrative of even the most meager professionalism, then I must have blinked and missed it. This scorching blaze of schlock wizardry is a deluge of incidental surrealism, causing the film to overstep its awfulness as a desultory masterwork of incongruous abstraction(which even manages to slide in a puerile Christian subtext).

A film to be awed, admired, studied, and cherished forever... 9.5/10