- Peter Lawford: I'm an actor, Frank! All I want to do is act in movies, and cheat on my wife. Is that too much to ask?
- Frank Sinatra: If power doesn't mean that you have the opportunity to work with the people that you love , then you haven't really got any.
- Joey Bishop: Hey, did we kill tonight or what?
- [Dean does not reply]
- Joey Bishop: We killed tonight. I haven't laughed like that...
- Dean Martin: ...since I played a little club in Poughkeepse back in 1944.
- Joey Bishop: What're you saying, we weren't funny tonight?
- Dean Martin: What I'm saying is erm... watch this.
- [to two women]
- Dean Martin: Scuse me ladies
- [he babbles, and they laugh]
- Joey Bishop: Yeah, so?
- Dean Martin: So, the world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment pally. One of these days everybody's gonna wake up with a heck of a hangover, down two aspirin and a glass of tomato juice and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about.
- Frank Sinatra: There's a reason why we're all here tonight...
- Dean Martin: You threatened us.
- [laughter]
- Dean Martin: Did he threaten you too Sammy?
- Sammy Davis, Jr.: Um, I refuse to answer that on the grounds that it might incinerate me baby.
- Dean Martin: Hey Frank, how do you make a fruit cordial?
- Frank Sinatra: I don't know Dean, how do you make a fruit cordial?
- Dean Martin: Be nice to it.
- Frank Sinatra: How tall are you, Peter?
- Peter Lawford: About six foot one.
- Frank Sinatra: Don't cut yourself off at the knees.
- Pat Lawford: What is it about that man?
- Rocky Cooper: Oh, you wanna fuck him, you wanna mother him, you... don't want to piss him off. Oh God, is it a combination.