- Fred Flintstone: Hey, was that an insult?
- Gazoo: Well, if the shoe fits...
- Barney Rubble: What's a shoe?
- Gazoo: Than I guess it *was* an insult.
- Wilma Slaghoople: [sees Betty sitting alone at a table] Hi Betty.
- [Betty says nothing]
- Wilma Slaghoople: Did I tell you that's a really pretty dress?
- Betty O'Shale: [quietly] Thank you.
- Wilma Slaghoople: [sits down next to Betty] Betty, you aren't still mad at me, are you?
- Betty O'Shale: Mad? Just because you pretended to be poor? And I took you in and I felt sorry for you?
- [stands up]
- Betty O'Shale: Why would that make me mad?
- [walks away]
- Colonel Slaghoople: Oh Wilma, whatever you decide to do, I want you to know something. Your daddy will always love you.
- Wilma Slaghoople: [embrace] Thank you, Daddy.
- Fred Flintstone: [to The Great Gazoo] You're here do observe? Well get ready to observe your teeth leaving your head.
- Gazoo: I come from a planet too far for you to fathom and a civilization too advanced for you to comprehend.
- Barney Rubble: Wait a minute, Fred. I'll bet we get wishes!
- Gazoo: Pardon?
- Barney Rubble: Yeah. We let you out of the fancy bottle and now we get wishes, right?
- Fred Flintstone: Yeah, Barney's right. Let's get this started. What do we have to rub?
- Gazoo: Now, look here. I am not some sort of friendly cartoon genie, and that is not a bottle. It is a spacecraft. I am of a highly evolved alien species. I don't do funny voices, I don't sing catchy songs, and I do not posess a magic carpet for your big, bloated behinds to float upon! I am here to observe your species mating rituals, OK, dum-dums?
- Fred Flintstone: Dum-dums? Hey, was that an insult?
- Gazoo: Well, if the shoe fits.
- Barney Rubble: What's a shoe?
- Gazoo: Yes, it was an insult.
- Gazoo: [watching Fred putting his arm around Wilma on the rollercoaster] Nice opening gambit lover boy. Now, close the deal so I can get off this Warren lock.
- Fred Flintstone: I'm ignoring you right now.
- Wilma Slaghoople: What did you say?
- Fred Flintstone: I said, I'm adoring you right now.
- Wilma Slaghoople: Oh Fred. That's so sweet.
- Barney Rubble: [defending Fred to everyone after he's been accused of robbery] Wait a minute! Wait a minute! You're all making a big mistake. Fred couldn't have stolen that necklace. It was locked up in a safe. Fred can't even remember the combination to his bowling locker. Look, he's gotta write it down on his hand, see?
- [lifts Fred's hand up in the air and points at where the combination is written]
- Fred Flintstone: [jerks away] Aw, great. Now everybody's seen it.
- Barney Rubble: Huh. Crack a safe? He couldn't even crack his knuckles without my help.
- [laughs]
- Chip Rockefeller: Thank you, Mr. Rubble, for confessing to being Mr. Flintstone's accomplice!
- Barney Rubble: You're welcome.
- [pauses and realizes]
- Barney Rubble: What?
- Chip Rockefeller: Take them both away!
- [the officers takes Fred and Barney to jail; everybody cheers; Betty stares in horror, Roxie claps and smiles evilly]
- Fred Flintstone: I'm innocent!
- Chip Rockefeller: Everybody, gamble!
- Chip Rockefeller: [laughs at Fred while watching a fight] More credit? No. No chance, no way, no how. Do you know how much you owe already?
- Fred Flintstone: Owe?
- Goon: [holds up an I.O.U. to Fred] One million, 400 thousand clams.
- Fred Flintstone: Oh.
- Chip Rockefeller: It's gonna be a real shame when Wilma finds out what a loser her new boyfriend really is. Of course... she doesn't have to find out.
- Fred Flintstone: She doesn't? See that? I knew you were a good guy.
- Chip Rockefeller: [chuckles, then give Fred an evil glare] I'm not.
- [Fred's smile slowly fades and Chip speaks]
- Chip Rockefeller: I said I wouldn't tell her. I didn't say you could still have her. I'll erase your debt, Flintstone, but you've gotta disappear. Out of town, out of Bedrock, and never see or speak to Wilma again.
- Fred Flintstone: Wait a minute. You had this planned all along!
- Chip Rockefeller: Tell me, how do you even dress yourself in the morning?
- Fred Flintstone: Normally I just wear what I fell asleep in. What's that gotta do with anything?
- Chip Rockefeller: Goodbye, Flintstone.
- [Chips smiles at Fred and leaves the fight; Fred watches him leave]
- Fred Flintstone: You won't get away with this, Rockefeller!
- [the Neanderthal in the ring his his opponent with his club; the opponent flies out of the ring and lands right on top of Fred; Fred struggles to get up; Neanderthal rises his club above his head; everybody cheers]
- [first lines]
- Gazaam & Gazing: You are a calamity, a disgrace! You've got no professional detachment, and you can't keep your big nose out of other people's business! As an intergalactic observer, you stink!
- Gazoo: [sees the Universal logo] Did anybody else see those flying letters by?
- Gazaam & Gazing: You are hopeless, Kazoo.
- Gazoo: Actually, it's Gazoo. "Ga!"
- Betty O'Shale: I'm so happy for you.
- Wilma Slaghoople: And I'm so happy for you too, Betty.
- Betty O'Shale: I've... never been so happy.
- Wilma Slaghoople: Me neither.
- Pearl Slaghoople: [very rudely towards the two emotionally happy girls] Hey, knock it off. You're big girls now. Wilma darling, you are doing the right thing. I married the Colonel for his money and look how happy we are.
- Wilma Slaghoople: [fed up with her mother's prejudice towards Fred] How can you treat people this way?
- Pearl Slaghoople: Is it because, they are not like you? You know what?
- Wilma Slaghoople: That is why, I like them. Because they are not like you. They like me for who I am, and not WHO I am. I mean... You know what I mean.
- Pearl Slaghoople: [furious to be stood up to] How dare you to talk to me like that, Wilma! No one has ever talked to me like that before!
- Wilma Slaghoople: Well, Mother, may be it's about time somebody did.
- Chip Rockefeller: Fred, would you mind emptying your pockets?
- Fred Flintstone: You think I stole Wilma's pearls? Chip, that's...
- Chip Rockefeller: Why? Do you have something to hide, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: Definitely not! See for yourself.
- [reaches into his pocket]
- Fred Flintstone: I'm not--
- [pulls out Wilma's pearls and stares at them; everyone gasps; Barney's jaw drops]
- Betty O'Shale: [horrified] Fred.
- [Wilma can't believe her eyes]
- Fred Flintstone: Wait a minute, I didn't take these. Wilma, why would I take your pearls?
- Chip Rockefeller: Do you deny that you owe the casino over a million clams with no way to pay it back?
- [everyone gasps; Betty shakes her head]
- Wilma Slaghoople: Fred, is that true?
- Fred Flintstone: Yeah, but--
- [Wilma looks heartbroken; Chip takes the pearls from Fred]
- Chip Rockefeller: Wilma, darling, I'm so sorry.
- [Wilma looks at Chip; glares at Fred, who shakes his head; snatches back her pearls and runs out of the casino in tears]
- Fred Flintstone: Wilma. Wilma. Wilma, you can't believe him! He set me up!
- Chip Rockefeller: Security, take this man to jail!
- [everyone cheers]
- [Fred and Barney, disguised as dancing girls, burst into Mick Jagged's dressing room and close the door behind them]
- Betty O'Shale: [excited] Barney?
- [they turn around]
- Betty O'Shale: [disgusted] Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: Wow, you really ARE with Mick Jagged.
- Mick Jagged: [points to Fred and Barney] I hope you're not the two girls I sent for.
- Betty O'Shale: No. Actually, the cuter one used to be my boyfriend.
- Mick Jagged: What?
- Barney Rubble: [steps forward] Betty, I understand if you want to be with this famous rock star instead of me, but I just had to come back here and tell you... I love you.
- [Betty turns her head and smiles at Barney]
- Barney Rubble: I don't think I ever told you that before, but now I did, so, goodbye.
- [turns to leave; Betty stops him]
- Betty O'Shale: Barney, wait! Do you really mean it?
- Barney Rubble: Of course I do. I've never felt this way about anyone before.
- Betty O'Shale: Well, then, what about that showgirl you were with in the restaurant?
- Barney Rubble: Roxie? That's Chip Rockefeller's girlfriend. He sent her to take me to the buffet so I couldn't stop Fred from gambling.
- Betty O'Shale: Chip Rockefeller has a girlfriend? Somebody's got to tell Wilma!
- Fred Flintstone: Don't worry, Betty. I'll handle Rockefeller.
- Mick Jagged: All right, all right, would somebody mind telling me what the bloody hell's going on here?
- Showroom Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, the fabulous Tardust Hotel is proud to present the world's only rock-and-roll band, Mick Jagged and the Stones!
- [audience cheering]
- Chip Rockefeller: Ladies and gentlemen! Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that there is a criminal in our midst...
- [Everybody gasps]
- Chip Rockefeller: But, before I expose him into the public. I'd like to give him a chance to step forward that admit his wrong doing only to take his first tiny step towards absolution.
- Towel Confessor: [sobs] I stole all the towels in my room!
- Chip Rockefeller: Well, that is illegal! But, still...
- Underwear Confessor: I'm wearing someone else's underwear!
- [Everybody gasps and groans]
- Chip Rockefeller: No! I was talking about a...
- Dinosaur Confessor: I'm systematically poisoning the dinosaurs water supply! In a matter of decades, their entire species will be extinct!
- [Everybody laughs]
- Chip Rockefeller: All right! This is obviously going nowhere. No, I was talking about a necklace. A very valuable necklace has been stolen from our hotel safe. A necklace belonging to my dear... dear friend, Wilma Slaghoople.
- Wilma Slaghoople: My pearls?
- Betty O'Shale: Wilma!
- Fred Flintstone: All right, who did it? So, help me. If you don't step forward right now, I'll personally punch you in the...
- Chip Rockefeller: I don't think violence would be necessary, Flintstone. Because, I know exactly, who stole Wilma's pearls... A desperate man drowning and gambling debts.
- Fred Flintstone: Low-life!
- Dinosaur Confessor: Hey! Doesn't anybody care about this whole dinosaurs becoming extinct thing?
- Chip Rockefeller, Wilma Slaghoople, Betty O'Shale, Fred Flintstone, Barney Rubble, Mick Jagged, Roxie: NO!
- [Dinosaur Confessor walks away]