- [Terrell's car has been stolen]
- Terrell Parker: When we find the guys who did this, I'm gonna open a big can of whoop-ass on them!
- Sammo Law: Whoop-ass?
- Terrell Parker: Yeah... Whoop-ass... is my kind of karate.
- Terrell Parker: [on catching the bad guys] Then we'll be on these guys like Pam.
- Sammo Law: Who's Pam?
- Terrell Parker: It's a grease thing.
- Sammo Law: Pam is from Greece?
- Terrell Parker: No, Pam is 'grease.' Never mind. We'll talk about it later.
- Sammo Law: [on hiking in the woods] Be careful where you step or you will fall into a trap. It is an old trick in Japan.
- Terrell Parker: Fine. If we're hiking in Japan, I'll remember that. But we're in LA now and the only thing you can get out here is tetnus from stepping on a rusty na...
- [falls into a trap]
- Sammo Law: I tried to tell you. Why didn't you listen to me?
- Terrell Parker: I don't know! I feel like Charleton Heston in 'Planet of the Apes' and believe me, no black man wants to be Charleton Heston!
- [Terrell has accidentally run over Otto the rat with his car]
- Sammo Law: You know, in China, some people believe that the death of a rat means seven years of bad luck.
- Terrell Parker: You mean if I tell the kids about Otto the curse will go away?
- Sammo Law: No. You are doomed.
- Capt. Benjamin Winship: I know you really want to nail these guys, but getting involved in Cassie's trucking business is just pushing it, Sammo. Both you guys could have been killed.
- Sammo Law: Sometimes to catch the bad guys, you have to think outside of the box.
- Capt. Benjamin Winship: Wait a minute. What idiot told you that?
- Sammo Law: You did. The same day you gave me this badge.
- Capt. Benjamin Winship: Uh, yeah.
- Chen Pei Pei: [after Nigel has thrown all the M&Ms onto the floor in a fit of rage] Now that you've had your little Keith Moon moment, you can pick up all the M&Ms.