- Orville Wright: Oh boy.
- Wilbur Wright: What is that horrible smell?
- Big Fat Baby: Gah goo gah.
- The Wright Brothers: Eww.
- Charity Bazaar: Big Fat Baby needs a change.
- Orville Wright: No kidding when was the last time this baby had a new diaper?
- Charity Bazaar: Do you know when the wheel was invented?
- Wilbur Wright: 3000 B.C?
- Charity Bazaar: Before that.
- Father Time: And now Charity Bazaar for Histeria's words of wisdom.
- Charity Bazaar: You can lead a horse to water but its tough to get those swim fins on his hoofs. Thank you.
- Nostradamus: Mary had a little lamb / Its fleece was white as snow / And everywhere that Mary went / There was an evil man named Hitler!
- Pepper Mills: [after getting Christopher Columbus's autograph] Hey, you're not Leonardo DiCaprio!
- Miss Information: We're searching for a more peaceful area, like a battlefield! We're walking, we're walking.
- [a reaction to what Mr. Smartypants pulls out of his pants on a segment called "Things I find in my pants"]
- Lydia Karioke: Napoleon Bonaparte? What's he doing in there?