Craig Kelly credited as playing...
Vince Tyler
- Vince Tyler: [quoting an episode of "Doctor Who"] Unrequited love. It's fantastic, 'cause it never has to change, it never has to grow up and it never has to die!
- [Discussing the new baby's name]
- Stuart Alan Jones: Vince, run a check on "Alfred."
- Vince Tyler: Alf Roberts; "Alfie," Michael Caine; "Alf," that American sitcom with the puppet - bit dodgy, but that's forgotten by the time he's in school, unless it's on cable... bet they've got it on Bravo. Oh... Alfred's the name of Batman's butler! Marvelous. Good name!
- Stuart Alan Jones: Where are you going?
- Vince Tyler: You've copped off!
- Stuart Alan Jones: I'm just getting his phone number, that's all!
- Phil Delaney: What did you do - swallow it?
- Hazel Tyler: [on phone] Oh, and get some Weetabix
- Vince Tyler: Thought your breakfast was twenty Bensons.
- Hazel Tyler: It's for little Lord Fauntleroy.
- Vince Tyler: I'm not shopping for him! What else does he want? Angel Delight? Party Rings? Nappies?
- Hazel Tyler: And give me the big box of Surg, I've got double the laundry. It's all bed sheets, I'd forgotten how much teenage boys masturbate.
- Vince Tyler: Mum!
- Hazel Tyler: Stiff as a board!
- Bernard: Hazel, don't wash 'em, I'll have 'em!
- Hazel Tyler: Bernie said don't wash 'em, he'll have 'em
- Vince Tyler: It's like an 0898 number!