John Leguizamo credited as playing...
Toulouse-Lautrec
- Toulouse-Lautrec: Christian, you may see me only as a drunken, vice-ridden gnome whose friends are just pimps and girls from the brothels. But I know about art and love, if only because I long for it with every fiber of my being.
- The Duke: I don't like this ending...
- Harold Zidler: Don't like the ending, my dear Duke?
- The Duke: Why should the courtesan chose the penniless sitar player over the maharajah who is offering her a lifetime of security? That's real love. Once the sitar player has satisfied his lust he will leave her with nothing. I suggest that the courtesan chose the maharajah.
- Toulouse-Lautrec: But, but tell me, that ending does not uphold the Bohemian ideals of truth, beauty, freedom, and...
- The Duke: [shouts] I don't care about your ridiculous dogma! Why shouldn't the courtesan chose the maharajah?
- Christian: [shouts] Because she doesn't love you!... Him... Hi-him, she doesn't love... she doesn't love him.
- The Duke: Oh, I see... Monsieur Zidler, the play will be rewritten with the courtesan choosing the maharajah and without the lovers' secret song. It will be rehearsed in the morning, ready for the opening tomorrow night...
- Harold Zidler: But, my dear Duke, that will be quite impossible.
- Satine: Harold, the Duke is being treated appallingly. These silly writers let their imaginations run away with themselves. Why don't you and I have a little supper, and then we can tell Monsieur Zidler how we would like the story to end.
- [the bohemians are rehearsing a play that resembles a certain musical that begins with a nun singing atop a hill]
- Toulouse-Lautrec: [singing] The hills are made with the euphonious symphonies of descant...
- Doctor: I don't think a nun would say that about a hill.
- Toulouse-Lautrec: I got it, I got it. Christian.
- [shouts]
- Toulouse-Lautrec: The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
- Toulouse-Lautrec: How do you do? My name is Henri Marie Raymond Toulouse-Lautrec Montfa.
- Christian: What?
- Toulouse-Lautrec: I'm terribly sorry about all this. We're just upstairs rehearsing a play.
- Christian: What?
- Toulouse-Lautrec: Things aren't always as they seem.
- Christian: Things are exactly the way they seem.