- [choosing the game-play option "pick-up line"]
- Larry Laffer: Hey there. My name is, uh... Bill Gates.
- Nailmi Jugg: Nah, couldn't be. You look too geeky.
- Narrator: Slam. Dunk. Score!
- [Larry knocks on Captain Thygh's cabin door at any time before winning the competition. Al Lowe's face shows at the door porthole]
- Waiter: [moans] Waddaya want? I'm busy! Ooohhh.
- Larry Laffer: Uh, nothing.
- Captain Thygh: [her voice is heard] You get your ass back in here, right now! You've got work to do!
- Waiter: Okay! I, I... I gotta go!
- Captain Thygh: And get the Mazola oil!
- [Larry tries to impress Drew]
- Larry Laffer: So... uh, did I ever tell you I know Al Lowe personally?
- Drew Baringmore: Who? Oh, I remember him! He came through here last November. Unimpressive.
- Larry Laffer: Yeah, maybe.
- Drew Baringmore: Not him, Larry, you!
- Captain Thygh: [about the Narrator] Who's that?
- Larry Laffer: I dunno, but I keep hearing him all the time.
- [clicking "eat" on the bean dip for the second time]
- Narrator: You know, they only put 239 beans in that bowl of dip.
- Larry Laffer: Oh really, why?
- Narrator: Because any more and it would be too farty.
- [drum fill]
- Larry Laffer: Sounds like a Mark Seibert joke.
- [Larry tries to impress Captain Thygh - as usual, unsuccessfully]
- Larry Laffer: Did I, uhm, mention I've met Al Lowe?
- Captain Thygh: Did I mention I've had him?
- Larry Laffer: [musing] Damn! Smoked again!
- [Larry tries again]
- Larry Laffer: You know, uhm, I know Ken Williams personally.
- Captain Thygh: Oh, yeah? Well, I know Ken Williams biblically!
- [Larry recognizes Rod the balloon man as the annoying fellow, who appeared in most of the previous Leisure Suit Larry games as a pun on Ken Williams]
- Larry Laffer: Hey, I recognize you!
- Rod: Have we met?
- Larry Laffer: Yeah, you're that guy from the bar in Larry 1!
- Rod: Am not.
- Larry Laffer: Yeah, and you were that psycho barber on the airplane in Larry 2.
- Rod: Was not.
- Larry Laffer: And you were Chief Kenneewauwau on Nontoonyt Island in Larry 3.
- Rod: Was not.
- Larry Laffer: And you hid all the floppy disks from Larry 4!
- Rod: Did not.
- Larry Laffer: Yeah, and in Larry 5 you were that geek on the boardwalk!
- Rod: Was not.
- Larry Laffer: Yeah, and in Larry 6 you were in the pool, floating on that inflatable pussy. How was that?
- Rod: No, not me.
- Larry Laffer: So, waddaya say? A little game of drop the anchor? You and me? Stem to stern? Tug and tanker?
- Captain Thygh: [disgusted] God, Larry, you're pathetic. How'd did you ever get past the LoveMaster 2000? Cheat?
- Larry Laffer: Was that a "no"?
- [Larry offers Annette toilet paper]
- Annette Boning - Mysterious woman in black: [sarcasm] Oh, that's it! You did it! That's exactly what I've been wanting from you all this time. Let's have sex, now and repeatedly!
- Larry Laffer: [oblivious] Really? With me?
- Annette Boning - Mysterious woman in black: Hell, no, you idiot! You are SUCH a jerk!