Promenons-nous dans les bois

(*1/2 out of *****) This goes to show that even the French put out some serious garbage in the world of film from time to time. This one, for example, is horrid. The interesting (albeit derivative) premise, the spooky setting, and the cinematography are all quite good, but, unfortunately, the whole thing falls apart real fast under its own incomprehensible pretensions.

A group of attractive, young actors travel to an old mansion way out in the country to perform for an eccentric millionaire and his weird, mute son. The woods surrounding the mansion just happen to be the hunting ground for a serial rapist/killer who targets young girls. But, forget all about that, because, as soon as the good-looking group gets to the old guy's house, odd characters start popping up and bizarre things start happening -- you know, the usual David Lynch/Dario Argento kind of stuff -- except Delphlanque doesn't have an ounce of the artistic mastery or the subtlety to pull any of it off. Character motivations, most of the plotting, the dialogue (some of which, granted, could be the fault of American dubbing) -- is some of the worst I've ever encountered in a movie like this. In one scene, for example, everyone is sound asleep except for the main female star (Clotilde Courau), who is wandering through the mansion by herself. So, she enters one room and suddenly finds all of her friends dancing real slow and suggestively with each other, including her girlfriend. The scene ends and everyone acts regularly, as if nothing happened -- suddenly, they're all just wide awake and dancing to loud music! Okay, whatever, sure! And then, in the next scene -- after being warned by a (typically weird) police detective (who just happens to walk into the room) that a killer is on the loose -- they're all suddenly outside and walking around through the woods after midnight!

The story tries to follow the trace of a murder mystery, but it takes way too many irritating turns into contrived Lynchian territory (in an early scene, the young boy stabs his own hand with a fork at the dinner table, and, after the father explains that he always does that, the guests are like, `Hm, well, how 'bout that -- so, when do you think we're gonna get paid?' and stuff like that.)

There are some gory murders and a couple steamy sex scenes, but there are also loooong scenes of characters walking up and down stairs and through dark rooms. And, I swear to God, everyone pauses for about 30 seconds before responding to each other in this maddening mess -- I guess that helps stretch what could have been a 45-minute movie into an hour and a half.

Do not be fooled by anyone who tries telling you that this movie is as good as (or, God forbid, better than) a typical Argento flick, because it is not. In spite of its professional camera work and some hints of creativity here and there in the direction, this turkey is no better than any early-'80s, American slasher flick.

Lowlight: In a painfully forced attempt to misdirect our suspicions as to who the killer is, one of the actors tries to shoot Courau with a nail gun, but she somehow easily blocks it with a pipe or something, and, in the very next scene, the two of them are outside together, trying to start the car as if nothing happened. There are so many idiotic scenes like this that it just made me sick. I admit it -- I took the damn cassette out of the VCR! I didn't care how it ended! I couldn't take it anymore!

I am a real fan of French movies. French os my second language, and I spent much of my formative years as a movie fan watching Belmondo, Jean Gabin, or Louis de Funes. However, this movie really disappointed me. Taking the European theme of the Red Chaperon, and turning it into a class B American tean horror movie is a performance on the wrong direction. No real thrill, a lot of blood and an average of a murder for every seven screen minutes, flat acting - this is what one should expect from this flip.

If the American studios put their eyes on this script, which might happen judging the lack of fresh ideas in Hollywood scripts lately - we might have a better quality American re-make of a French movie - for a change!

A group of college aged actors are hired to perform a play at a millionare's house for his son's birthday party. However, they soon start to fall prey to a killer dressed in a wolf suit. Magnificently directed horror flick makes Dario Argento look like an amateur. The whole cast is extremely photogenic and there are some seriously sexy moments. The film also scores some huge scares. However, the script is only average at best. Still, essential viewing for any horror fan.

Rated R; Extreme Violence, Sexual Situations, Nudity and Profanity.

This is a pretty odd little French slasher, that is more concerned about creating an artistic and dark atmosphere than telling a story.

You could say that this movie is taking a bit of a more artistic approach to the genre but unfortunately this doesn't exactly make the movie very interesting or exciting to watch. It does a horrible job at building up- and handling its tension and all of its other horror ingredients.

The film-makers had probably seen a couple of slashers but it doesn't feel like they understood the genre as well. They thought that it was enough to just have a dark atmosphere, throughout the entire movie but this dark atmosphere actually starts to work against the movie. All of the killings are way too dark for instance and it makes it hard to tell what is exactly going on at time. The darkness also ensures that the movie feels pretty tame with its gore, though with a bit more light the movie still could had been a gore-fest, since it has some pretty gruesome killings in it actually.

The story in its core is pretty standard but it loves to see itself as something clever and original. Not that the movie feels pretentious but it's just so that the average movie watcher will find very little original and surprises in this movie, no matter how hard the movie tries at times. You also really won't feel involved with the story at all, or with any of the characters that are in it.

Best thing I can say about the movie is that I didn't hated watching it. I therefore am also going to be quite mild with my rating but still it really isn't a movie that is worth checking out.

5/10

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For the first time, France's broaching a subject which made the reputation and the success of famous movies such as "Scream" or "I know what you did last summer": the serial murder. Here, the serial murder is in keeping with a French nursery rhyme that deals with the big bad wolf. Unfortunately, this movie which is besides Delplanque's first movie is far from being successful. His movie takes back too many elements that became clichés of horror movies like the raven that is synonym of a bad omen, the haunted house and the serie of sinister-looking characters. But above all, the movie doesn't succeed in hiding an obvious lack of inspiration, especially the dialogs that aren't very worked and it doesn't hesitate in borrowing scenes from other movies. I think about "the blair witch project" when one of the actors is disappearing into the woods and about "psycho" with the murder under the shower and moreover Delplanque's making is empty and hollow. Sometimes the movie becomes ridiculous due to a few scenes like the actors' show played in front of Axel de Fersen and Nicolas and a few characters: the cop who turns up at the most awkward moment hasn't got a cop's head and mind. As far as the little boy Nicolas is concerned, he is bad used. During an important part of the movie, he stays still, the vacant look he seems scared by the big bad wolf and he doesn't say a single word. The little actor that epitomizes him hadn't had very much work to do.... Nevertheless Fraçois Berléand is quite convincing in his role of sinister-looking character even if the movie doesn't expand his feelings to Wilfried, one of the young men. I noticed that Berléand seems to feel love to him.... At last, the movie succeeds, sometimes, in creating an ounce of suspense and doubt in the spectator's mind: who is the big bad wolf? Who is responsible of all the murders? You'll know the answers at the end of this listless and dull movie....