Orlando Jones: Harry Block

Evolution

Harry Block

[Harry has just had an alien removed rectally]
Dr. Allison Reed: It's over, it's over. You did great! Do you need anything? Can we get you anything?
Harry Block: Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream please.
Dr. Allison Reed: Okay, what flavor?
Harry Block: It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.

Wayne Grey: [trying to get the alien's attention with an open mike] Ca-Caw! Ca-Caw! Ca-Caw! Ah Ah Ee Ee Tookie Tookie! Tookie Tookie! Ca-Caw Ca-ca-caw-ca-caw-caw-caw! Ca-ca-caw!
Harry Block: Wayne, I think we've established that "Ca-Caw Ca-Caw" and "Tookie Tookie" don't work.
Wayne Grey: Right. Sorry.
Harry Block: Alright, so what do you say Ira? Pack it in?
Wayne Grey: [starts singing into the mike] You are so beautiful, to me...
Ira Kane: Step back, Harry, I'm gonna shoot him.
Harry Block: No, stand down. I'm gonna kill this one myself.
Wayne Grey: Give me a chance, I'm communicating here.
[continues singing]
Wayne Grey: You are so beautiful, to me...
Harry Block: Wayne, would you please stop, because you are embarrassing me.
Wayne Grey: [Wayne starts singing louder and directly to Harry] Can't you see. You're everyth...
[the creature reacts]
Wayne Grey: [singing] You're everything that I hope for.
[the creature reacts again]
Ira Kane: It's working!
Harry Block: [to Wayne] Yeah. Sing! Sing! Rub some funk on it!

Ira Kane: If I was a giant nasty alien bird in a department store, where would I be?
Harry Block: Lingerie.
Ira Kane: Not you, the bird.
Harry Block: Lingerie.

[after an alien bug crawls into his body]
Harry Block: For the love of everything good and holy, get this goddamn thing out of me!

Ira Kane: Ira Kane, head of the science department, Glen Canyon Community College.
Harry Block: Harry Block, United States Geological Survey.
Wayne Grey: Wayne Grey. I took some chemistry in high school.

Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman: No need to play the blame game here, Allison. No harm, no foul. Suffice it to say that we're all very appreciative of the discovery made by Dr. Kane and Mr. Black...
Harry Block: Block!

[Kane and Block disguise themselves as a colonel and a private to sneak into the military base]
Harry Block: I still don't understand why you get to be colonel and I'm just a private.
Ira Kane: I WAS a colonel.
Harry Block: Yeah, and you obviously served your country with distinction.
Ira Kane: You should be thankful, the penalty for impersonating an officer is five years in prison.
Harry Block: Maybe for you, white boy. Me, they hang.

Harry Block: So, do they give the Nobel Prize out in yearly payments or is it just one lump sum, like the lottery?
Ira Kane: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Harry Block: Oh, I'm not getting ahead of myself. I've very concerned about the potential tax consequences.

Nadine: I really need these credits to get into nursing school.
Harry Block: Nursing school? Don't you think you'd be happier in a different profession, one where people's lives were NOT dependent on you?

Nadine: Um, Professor, the little wiggly worm things in there are breaking.
Harry Block: Ira, look.
Ira Kane: Yeah. It's not breaking, it's splitting. It's mitosis. That's how they reproduce!
Harry Block: No sex?
Ira Kane: No time for sex.
Nadine: Bummer.

Harry Block: I'm no biologist, but how many cells do single-celled organisms have?
Ira Kane: Harry, if we're going to be big important scientists you have to start to act the part.

[the alien creature turns around to reveal what looks like spherical buttocks]
Harry Block: [grinning] Ira, look at that backside! Theater in the round. That's the kind of trunk space you want in a late-model car. Who does that remind you of?
Ira Kane: I've no idea what you're talking about.
Harry Block: She's been throwing it at you enough.
Ira Kane: [incredulously] Dr. Reed?
Harry Block: Bull's-eye.
[Cut to the Ops Room]
Lt. Cryer: Excuse me, Dr. Reed, did you authorize a walk-through?
Dr. Allison Reed: No. Why?
Lt. Cryer: Um, you should probably take a look at something. Here.
[On the computer screen, they see and hear Block teasing:]
Harry Block: That's the kind of rump you want to roast! The kind of muffin you'd like to butter!
Ira Kane: That is, that is a nice image. And I appreciate your assumption that there is an actual sexual human being underneath all Dr. Reed's deep-seated neuroses, but I don't think so.
Harry Block: What?
Ira Kane: Yeah. I think she is a humorless ice queen.