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Alice (2000)

Quotes

Alice

Edit
  • The Queen of Hearts: Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head! Off... with... her... head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. Off with her head. I rule Wonderland alone. Your interference will not be tolerated. This realm is for grown-ups. Raw, well-ordered, ruthless, careening off the jagged edge of reality. Self-pitying dreamers are not wanted here; they cannot survive here. You... fear the truth. You live in shadows. Your pathetic attempts to regain your sanity have failed. Retreat into the sterile safety of your self-delusions, or risk inevitable annihilation. If you destroy me, you'll destroy yourself. Leave now and some hollow part of you may survive. Stay, and I will BREAK you DOWN. You will lose yourself *FOREVER*!
  • [shreiks evilly]
  • The Jabberwock: You've kept me waiting, Alice. Have you never heard that punctuality's a virtue?
  • Alice Liddell: You and my dentist's assistant have much in common.
  • The Jabberwock: You're habitually late, aren't you? Between your dim-witted daydreaming and your preening vanity the hours just fly by; there's barely time for anything else.
  • Alice Liddell: That the best you can do? Hurl second-rate insults? They don't hurt...
  • The Jabberwock: Your family was expecting you to come to them, weren't they? Perhaps they thought you might warn them of the danger... being close to the source as you were. But they waited in vain, didn't they and died for their trouble.
  • Alice Liddell: We were all asleep. It was an accident... I...
  • The Jabberwock: You selfish, misbegotten, and unnatural child! You smelled the smoke. But you were in dreamland taking tea with your friends. You couldn't be bothered. Your room was protected and spared while your family upstairs roasted in an inferno of incredible *horror*!
  • Alice Liddell: Noooooooooooooooo!
  • Alice Liddell: [frightened] Everyone I know dies violently, unnaturally. I'm cursed. Why go on? I'll just hurt others!
  • Alice Liddell: And if not, there must be more than one way to skin a cat, If you'll... pardon the expression.
  • Cheshire Cat: Most unpleasant metaphor. Please avoid it in the future.
  • [from trailer]
  • Doctor: What's wrong, Alice?
  • Alice Liddell: My parents are gone.
  • Doctor: What else is wrong, Alice?
  • Alice Liddell: Something's... broken.
  • Doctor: What's broken, Alice?
  • Alice Liddell: I am!
  • Alice Liddell: You've gone quite mangy, cat... but your grin's a comfort.
  • Cheshire Cat: And you've picked up a bit of an attitude, still curious and willing to learn, I hope.
  • Cheshire Cat: How fine you look when dressed in rage. Your enemies are fortunate your condition is not permanent. You're lucky, too. Red eyes suit so few.
  • Mock Turtle: [tearfully] No, my shell! The Duchess stole it from me and tried to eat me for lunch! Nobility must be served, I suppose.
  • Mad Hatter: [to Alice in a menacing tone] Your hair wants cutting and perhaps your neck could *use a trim*!
  • Cheshire Cat: Here's a riddle: When is a croquet mallet like a billy club? I'll tell you: Whenever you want it to be!
  • Cheshire Cat: Is our situation not dismal? Wonderland is so discombobulated that lady bugs have turned belligerent and enlisted in the queen's army! PUNISH THEIR CONVERSION!
  • Cheshire Cat: I can't know everything, pretend you're an orphan.
  • [gasp]
  • Cheshire Cat: That was rude, you *are*! Rabbit knows a thing or two and I myself, don't need a weathervane to tell which way the wind blows.
  • Cheshire Cat: To the royal guards of this realm, we are all victims in-waiting.
  • Cheshire Cat: Only the insane equate pain with success.
  • Cheshire Cat: Every adventure requires a first step. Trite, but true, even here.
  • Cheshire Cat: The uninformed must improve their deficit, or die.
  • Cheshire Cat: Those who say there's nothing like a nice cup of tea for calming the nerves never had *real* tea. It's like a syringe of adrenaline straight to the heart!
  • Cheshire Cat: Only a few find the way, some don't recognize it when they do - some... don't ever want to.
  • Cheshire Cat: The Queen is dead and gone. Well, at least she's gone... for now. Long live Alice! Long live Wonderland.
  • Alice Liddell: Save myself? From death? Is that it? Is that why I'm here? I'm not afraid to die. At times I've welcomed death.
  • Mad Hatter: If you knew time as well as I, you wouldn't *dream* of wasting it!
  • The White Rabbit: Please don't dawdle, Alice! We're very late, indeed!
  • Caterpillar: Ah, Alice, you've returned...
  • Cheshire Cat: Meta-Essence is the life-force of Wonderland. That of your enemies is especially potent. Collect what you can. Use it wisely.
  • Mock Turtle: His whereabouts then, for my shell. The Duchess won't part with it willingly.
  • Alice Liddell: Then she must do it unwillingly!
  • Cheshire Cat: If your stature were an illness, it seems that the Centipede dispenses medicine to make you well.
  • Gryphon: [about the Jabberwock] You've destroyed her guardian, Alice, and avenged my death. Enter the ultimate battle.
  • Cheshire Cat: I've never trusted toadstools, but I suppose some must have their good points.
  • Cheshire Cat: Let your *need* guide you behavior. *Supress* your instinct to lead... Pursue Rabbit!
  • Troll Elder: There's a skool inside the fortress, where you'll find certain items for creating a concoction that will make you small.
  • Alice Liddell: I need to get small. No bigger than a mouse. do you know how I might do that?
  • The Duchess: Come closer, my little chick... mmm. Properly seasoned, you'd make a handsome dish.
  • Alice Liddell: I'm not edible.
  • The Duchess: Not a full meal, certainly. But a light snack, I think.
  • Alice Liddell: I'll have the turtle shell now, you disgusting ogre.
  • The Duchess: Over my dead body!
  • Alice Liddell: I'll try to accommodate you!
  • Alice Liddell: I'm not edible.
  • Centipede: Bring the intruder to my den. I will punish her insolence and dispose of her!
  • Cheshire Cat: The proper order of things is often a mystery to me. You, too?
  • Cheshire Cat: I'm afraid I have to expel a rather ferocious hairball. You're on your own, girl.
  • The Jabberwock: How typical, how foolish you were, to think you could overcome your guilt!
  • Alice Liddell: [to Duchess] I'll have the Turtle's shell *now*, you disgusting ogre.
  • Caterpillar: Become whole again. I need to rest. You need to regain your human size. Grow up, Alice. Embrace the truth.
  • The Duchess: [to Alice] Over my dead body!
  • Mock Turtle: [to Alice] You're very cold-blooded for a mammal. I was almost soup!
  • Cheshire Cat: Haste makes waste, so I rarely hurry. But if a ferret were about to dart up my dress, I'd run.
  • Alice Liddell: [both the Dormouse and the March Hare are held back and mutilated; Alice asks why] Were you impolite at table? Did you slurp your tea? Or talk while chewing? Confess your crime.
  • The March Hare: We've done nothing of the kind. It's the Hatter. He's gone quite mad, if I do say so. Speaking of which, how is the Queen of Hearts not like a typhoon?
  • Alice Liddell: Both are powerful, destructive, and indiscriminately cruel. But the typhoon doesn't mean to be.
  • The March Hare: Good answer. Wrong. But good.
  • The White Rabbit: [to Alice, reprimanding her] You've taken your sweet time!
  • White King: In war, truth first, there's always time for lies later.
  • Alice Liddell: [about Caterpillar] Where does that smooshy lay-about hang his hookah these days?

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