- Mouse Donovan: Hmmmm, is somebody a little moody about an impending birthday perhaps?
- Babyface Hamilton: I love it when you speak well!
- Belinda Faulkner: You know, I've never thought that a woman's looks were more important than her brains or her heart. I thought I'd tried to teach you that.
- Nik Faulkner: You have, it's... it's just easy for you to think that way because you're so beautiful.
- Belinda Faulkner: Oh honey, don't you know how beautiful you are?
- Babyface Hamilton: They say that second marriages are often far more fruitful. People are a little older, a little wiser, a little more tired.
- Babyface Hamilton: Divorce is not a bad word anymore, Nicky. You might even see more of your parents than you do already, like at the therapists!
- Nik Faulkner: Therapist? I just got rid of my orthodontist!
- Mouse Donovan: [with admiration] I can't believe how your dad lied like that. And right to your face! Man, he's a good liar.
- Babyface Hamilton: Real good. Kinda scary.
- Mouse Donovan: You know, I think that as a man, I need to become a better liar. Obviously it's helpful in certain situations.
- Nik Faulkner: I'm sacrificing my pride for the greater good of the family. When my mother sees this, she'll thank me. I'm being a bigger person by forgiving her first.
- Mouse Donovan: Wow. That's weird.
- Zack Bomback: The cool thing is that I've got fifteen new relatives, so this Christmas is gonna be fantastic. I'm very greedy.
- Nik Faulkner: Me too!
- Zack Bomback: We didn't have much in common. I mean, she doesn't like horror movies. How can you not like horror movies?
- Nik Faulkner: Maybe she's a communist.
- [Nick is opening a birthday gift from her best friends]
- Nik Faulkner: Oh, you guys, it's so ugly! I love it.
- Mouse Donovan: Ugly is really 'in' right now.
- Nik Faulkner: My parents are going to get a divorce and split up the twins like in that stupid Disney movie!