- Drew Carey: I was having a political argument with a lady who said, "If women ran the world, there would be no war." That's a load of crap, isn't it? Sure, nobody would start a fight for no reason if women ran the world. It would be like, "Hi, this is England. How come we're being invaded?" "Oh, I think you know. I saw you looking at France!"
- Colin Mochrie: The first category is types of cars.
- [Audience shouts out 'Volvo.']
- Colin Mochrie: The answer is Volvo. And the question is...
- Kathy Kinney: Buzz! What is hidden in my vagina?
- [Questions Only - At The Beach]
- Drew Carey: [singing] "Do you know the way to San Jose...?"
- Ryan Stiles: Aren't you Drew Carey?
- Drew Carey: [disappointed, lifts his sweater and shows his stomach] What gave it away?
- Ryan Stiles: [after Brad and Chip's surf song] Makes me feel like waxing something.
- Colin Mochrie: Why don't you start with that big nose?
- Ryan Stiles: [uses Colin's head as a mirror] Hey, it's not that big, is it?
- Colin Mochrie: The way "Celebrity Improv Jeapardy" works is I give you a category and you give me the answer. For example, if the category was a type of color, you give me...
- [Audience shouts "red"]
- Colin Mochrie: Red. The question would then be, "What is a book after you have finished with it? Read!"
- [Scowls from the audience]
- Colin Mochrie: Don't bug the host!
- [New Choice - Couple looking for toilet in a casino]
- Julie Ann Larson: You know what? I wouldn't trade the last 20 years for anything in the world.
- Sean Masterson: Really? Well, you know something? I wouldn't change the last 20 minutes for anything... I love you.
- Brad Sherwood: New choice.
- Sean Masterson: I hate you.
- Brad Sherwood: New choice.
- Sean Masterson: I sort of have this "love/hate"-thing for you. You remind me of my mother and my sister. Not a good combination.