- Mike: You watch those nature documentaries on the cable? You see the one about lions? You got this lion. He's the king of the jungle, huge mane out to here. He's laying under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He's so big, it's so hot. He doesn't want to move. Now the little lions come, they start messing with him. Biting his tail, biting his ears. He doesn't do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him. Coming over, making trouble. Still nothing. Now the other animals, they notice this. They start to move in. The jackals; hyenas. They're barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes, and eat the food that's in his domain. They do this, then they get closer and closer, bolder and bolder. Till one day, that lion gets up and tears the shit out of everybody. Runs like the wind, eats everything in his path. Cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals, who he is.
- [Voice Over]
- Johnny Doyle: The poolhall's a great equalizer. In the poolhall, nobody cares how old you are, how young you are, what color your skin is or how much money you've got in your pocket... It's about how you move. And I remember this kid once who could move around a pool table like nobody had ever seen. I mean, hour after hour, rack after rack, his shots just went in. The cue was part of his arm and the balls had eyes. And the thing that made him so good was... He thought he could never miss. I know, 'cause that kid was me.
- Joe: How the fuck does that make you feel... to be in that position with all your money on the table?
- Mike: How much you got, Joe?
- Joe: What?
- Mike: Total. You put down 80 thousand like it didn't matter. That's a lot of money for somebody like you and him. I think it matters.
- Joe: What's the difference...
- Mike: I'm a millionaire! That's the difference. I lose 80 I get another 80. For me it doesn't matter. See, I think it's you... who's sweating this, the both of you.
- Mike: What do you call a thousand lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
- Johnny Doyle: What?
- Mike: Not enough sand.
- Mike: When I was a kid, I figured out right away: most companies pay people enough, so as they don't quit. People work hard enough, so as they don't get fired. You know, what's that?
- Johnny Doyle: How about I tell you where you got your shoes. If I win, you give me a job. If I lose you can have my ring.
- Merv: Deal. But you're never going to get that job, Johnny, and here's why. I bought these shoes on a cruise in international waters, so no matter what you say, you're wrong.
- Johnny Doyle: But Merv, I didn't say I would tell you where you'd bought 'em, I said I'd tell you where you got 'em, and right now you got 'em on your feet.
- Danny Doyle: Hey Moose, I was watching TV with your wife last night. Stupid bitch took her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
- Max: [in the diner] Did you guys know, that the average penis size is 6.4 inches? And that the average vaginal canal is 7.9 inches.Therefore, in this country alone, there's over 17,000 miles of unused, virgin pussy out there.
- Johnny Doyle: Whoa. What are you doing?
- Brad: I'm taking my shot.
- Johnny Doyle: No. See, I just paid five-thousand dollars for your shot. Now it's my shot.
- Johnny Doyle: Bet twenty thousand!
- [the poolhall falls silent]
- Johnny Doyle: Oh, did I stutter? Everybody gone all quiet and shit? About a minute ago it was like an evening at the Apollo up in this motherfucker, now all of a sudden it's quiet as a church. That's all right, Chico, I don't blame you. I've been beatin' this Jimmy Walker lookin' motherfucker all goddamn night, he can't win.
- Chico: You'd better watch your mouth, Johnny!
- Johnny Doyle: You watch my mouth, Chico. 'Cause you sure as hell don't wanna watch me play pool. Unless, of course, I'm blind folded and hand cuffed with a pool cue stickin' out of my ass. Or maybe you'd bet the twenty thousand then?
- Joe: You beat them, you take their money, you call them names to their faces... and they love you. I don't know how you do it. I never saw anything like it. Beating a man out of his money, that's easy. Anybody can do that. But beating a man out of his money and making him like it... that's an art. That's an art of a true hustler.
- Max: [in the diner] Man that chick has got body karate.
- Tang: Hay do you think her tits are real? I hate chicks with fake tits.
- Max: Are you kidding me? Fake tits are the greatest invention of the 20th century. Plus they're safe.
- Chris: Whoa, whoa, whoa, safer?
- Max: Yeah. But do you know that 78% of all chicks that have fake tits involved in boating accidents do not drown.
- Chris: Where do you get this shit?
- Max: It's common knowledge
- Harmonica player: Y'know, you were really good tonight kid.
- Danny Doyle: Yeah, too bad nobody will ever know.