Michael Chiklis credited as playing...
Detective Vic Mackey
- Vic Mackey: Well maybe in your own mind, amigo. But in the real world, I don't answer to you. Not today, not tomorrow, not even on Cinco de Mayo.
- Claudette Wyms: The evidence is lacking.
- Vic Mackey: So is Dutchboy's dick but I'm not helping with that.
- Vic Mackey: Hi. I'm detective Vic Mackey.
- Cop: These your men?
- Vic Mackey: It depends. What did they do?
- [Vic is trying to scare a suspect in a third floor apartment]
- Vic Mackey: Write what I tell you.
- [Vic puts a notepad and a pen in the suspect's hands]
- Vic Mackey: L. I. F. E. New word, new word! S. U. X.
- [rips off the page and puts it into the lapel pocket of the suspect's shirt, then leads him towards an open window]
- Vic Mackey: Looks like you're going to die a bad speller.
- [Vic doesn't do anything and the suspect starts screaming]
- Suspect: Help! Help! HELP!
- David Aceveda: [walks in] What's going on in here?
- Vic Mackey: [confused] Nothing.
- [Aceveda glares at him]
- Vic Mackey: Really.
- Vic Mackey: [to the Strike Team] Hey, option one is: we take him alive. But feel free to consider option two.
- Vic Mackey: [after he identified Ben Gilroy's body] How'd he die?
- Medical Examiner: Take your pick. Cirrhosis, malnutrition, official cause was suffocation. Aspirated on his own vomit.
- [looking at a file]
- Medical Examiner: Christ, this guy was the Assistant Police Chief? What happened?
- Vic Mackey: Take your pick.
- Vic Mackey: [about Shane's baby, Jackson] Cute kid.
- Shane Vendrell: Thanks. He's got his mother's looks.
- Vic Mackey: Thank God!
- Vic Mackey: You still got that boyfriend?
- Lauren Riley: You still got that wife?
- Vic Mackey: No. You still got that boyfriend?
- Vic Mackey: You better figure out how much you hate me. And how you're going to deal with that. 'Cause I'm not going anywhere.
- Claudette Wyms: Neither am I.
- Vic Mackey: Since when did you get an ulcer?
- Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky: Since the Armenian mob started looking for me.
- Taylor: Are you gonna hold this third strike over me for the rest of my life?
- Vic Mackey: I could lie to you. But I have far too much respect for you as a person. Yes I am!
- Vic Mackey: Ay, Mo. Your sister's ass really tastes as sweet as Alvarez here says it does? He wants to know what your momma's putting in the corn muffin.