- Janeane Garofalo: [Jiminy is fidgeting and adjusting into odd seating positions] Are you alright?
- Jiminy Glick: Yes. It's one of the advantages of only having one ball.
- Jerry Seinfeld: You're a overweight, frustrated, unsuccessful, stammering, stuttering, sweating, you know- completely out of your element, individual.
- Jiminy Glick: [unphased] Aren't you kind.
- [repeated lines]
- Adrien Van Voorhees: I'm Adrien Van Voorhees, and am I the only one who needs a Glick fix?
- Audience: No! We do!
- Adrien Van Voorhees: Damn straight!
- Bill Maher: [after Jiminy describes his sex life] That's great. I always thought that was a whole front and you were gay, but that's, you know, just what I've heard.
- Jiminy Glick: Now why, isn't that interesting coming from a 44-year-old bachelor.
- Jiminy Glick: [to Julia-Louis Dreyfus] And let this always be a reminder to you... you are a special spirit. Thank you very much.
- [Julia laughs]
- Jiminy Glick: [reconsidering] Oh, I hadn't heard the laugh yet.
- [Julia's smile quickly fades]
- Jiminy Glick: Oh, well, that can be taken out in editing.