Dana Carvey credited as playing...
Pistachio Disguisey
- [From trailer]
- Devlin Bowman: I think it's time for you to go.
- Pistachio Disguisey: [Making talking gesture with hand] This is what you're doing...
- [Closes hand]
- Pistachio Disguisey: this is what I want you to do.
- Devlin Bowman: Did you just tell me to shut up?
- Pistachio Disguisey: Yes.
- Grandfather Disguisey: Who are you now?
- Pistachio Disguisey: The question is not who I am, the question is who are you? I'm Prince LaIi Jhamba from the Ringy Dingy Heights near Bombay, Calcutta and New Delhi, India. India. India.
- Grandfather Disguisey: It's time to test that.
- Pistachio Disguisey: What is it?
- [Grandfather Disguisey opens basket]
- Pistachio Disguisey: That is a big reptile.Not a problem.
- [Plays recorder]
- Pistachio Disguisey: Oh, yes. He wouldn't hurt anybody now.I'm going to call him Buttercup! So cute, eh?
- Grandfather Disguisey: Energico! God help me, I love it!
- Pistachio Disguisey: [Dangling cheese above reptile] You like the cheese. Go get the cheese, Buttercup. You know you love it.
- [after reading a chapter about finding Mama and Papa in the pop-up book]
- Pistachio Disguisey: That's one specific farmer.
- Pistachio Disguisey: [as Gammy Num-Nums] And yet, Backstreet Boy, this is one girl who isn't content to be the Malcolm in *your* middle!
- Pistachio Disguisey: [Ending Credits] Once I found an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know!
- Grandfather Disguisey: When you were on the roof, did you hear something like this?
- [Slaps Pistachio]
- Pistachio Disguisey: Yes exactly that! But without the pain on my face. We have a clue!
- Pistachio Disguisey: Can I help you?
- Grandfather Disguisey: I have come to help you, Pistachio.
- Pistachio Disguisey: Help me what?
- Grandfather Disguisey: Find your mother and your father. My son.
- Pistachio Disguisey: My father... your son... Holy canoli! You are my sister!
- Trent: What kind of crap are you filling his head with?
- Pistachio Disguisey: Uh, the nice-ness?
- Trent: "The nice-ness?" You are trying to horn in in my action, aren't cha?
- Pistachio Disguisey: [Imitates Trent] You are trying to horn in in my action, aren't cha?
- Trent: What?
- [Looks away and back]
- Trent: Are you mocking me?
- Pistachio Disguisey: [Imitates Trent] What?
- [Looks away and back]
- Pistachio Disguisey: Are you mocking me?
- Sophia: Look, Pistachios, the silly voices, the making faces, it was fun for like one second, okay?
- Pistachio Disguisey: Only one second?
- Sophia: I never wanted to go out with yous! I'm in love with Rex, okay?
- Grandfather Disguisey: [walks outside after hearing crash] Ahh you're too young for the job. Go home and ask your mommy to change you're diaper.
- Barney Baker: I don't wear a diaper.
- Grandfather Disguisey: [laughs] Hey Pistachio! There's a talking baby out here!
- Pistachio Disguisey: I want to see the talking baby coochy coochy coo! Brave Barney Baker nice to see you again!
- Grandfather Disguisey: You know this baby?
- Pistachio Disguisey: Yes, yes of course I do!
- Barney Baker: Actually I was potty trained when I was two.
- Pistachio Disguisey: Yes you are the conductor of the potty train!
- Texas Man: Am I going too fast for you?
- Pistachio Disguisey: [Mocking Texas Man] Am I going too fast for you?
- Texas Wife: Are you mocking my husband?
- Pistachio Disguisey: [Mocking Texas Wife] Are you mocking my husband?
- Texas Wife: 'Cause you better not be!
- Pistachio Disguisey: [Mocking Texas Wife] 'Cause you better not be!
- Jennifer: ...And now I believe that you can do anything.
- Pistachio Disguisey: Ah! That's very nice but not exactly true, I... I can't turn mud into oatmeal, for example, I can't build a spaceship that will travel to Pluto...
- Pistachio Disguisey: [as Gammy Num-Nums] Appraise this!
- [Slams "Nest in a Box on counter]
- Art Dealer: It appears to be of 12th century Tuscan design...
- Pistachio Disguisey: I knew it was old, you fool! Let me appraise you; you're an idiot. A complete and total idiot!
- Devlin Bowman: [Speaking to Jennifer] No need to bring anything...
- Pistachio Disguisey: [as Gammy Num-Nums] We don't want to go anywhere with you, Melon Head!
- Pistachio Disguisey: [Barney falls off skateboard] I noticed that you became acquainted with the sidewalk a moment ago.