Phil Vischer credited as playing...
Jonah • Mr. Lunt • Bob the Tomato • Phillipe Pea • Percy Pea • Nezzer • Pa Grape • Cockney Pea #2 • King Twistomer
- Phillipe Pea: [seeing porcupine needle in Bob's back] Would you prefer poking or non-poking?
- Bob the Tomato: [sarcastic laugh] Non.
- Khalil: Now you are sad, my friend. Something about Ninevah makes you sad?
- Jonah: Oh, I don't want to talk about it.
- Khalil: Oh, you do not have to tell me. Because I already know.
- Jonah: You do?
- Khalil: Oh, yes. There is a woman in Ninevah, is there not? A beautiful young asparagus? She is waiting for you, but your job is in the way. Her father is the head of an international band of camel thieves. Today you sail out to Tarshish to deliver a message to the camel thieves, but in the process will break the heart of the woman you love!
- [pause]
- Khalil: Insight runs very deep in my family.
- Mr. Nezzer: Are you guys still doing that "pirate" thing?
- Mr. Lunt: Argh! Watch your tongue, matey! Or we'll... what'll we do?
- Larry: Nothing. We're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything.
- Mr. Lunt: Oh. Argh! You got off easy today!
- [outtake; Jonah is trying to sleep but is interrupted by the Self Help Tape]
- Self-Help Tape Voice: You are so vain. I bet you think this movie's about you. Don't you. Don't you.
- Jonah: Ah, good one, boys...
- [during the closing credits song, Larry threatens to leave early]
- Larry: I'm gonna go home and take a nap!
- Pa Grape: Come on, we have contractual obligations to finish the song.
- Mr. Lunt: They paid for a full 79 minutes of entertainment, pal! Get back in the booth!
- Larry: Wake me up for the prequel!
- [Larry leaves]
- Pa Grape: Oh, come on! We were just starting to have fun!
- [laughs]
- Pa Grape: Oh man, I need a tums.
- [Pa leaves]
- Mr. Lunt: What? What, are we done? You mean that's it? Zim-bom-a-loo-bop-a-lop-bam-bing?... Hey, hey, ho ho ho, Hey hey, ho ho ho, hey hey... If you need me, I'll be on the porch.
- [Bob is trying to drive and is irritated by the kids' constant singing]
- Bob the Tomato: How about for the next song I drive into the river?
- Kids: Yeah!
- [singing]
- Kids: Drive into the river, Bob! Drive into the river, Bob!
- Jonah: [to God] Perhaps you've never been to Ninevah! Well, of course you haven't! A god like you would never go to a place like Ninevah!