- Tiffany Beamish: You'd have to be a total jerk to get a "C" in Music Appreciation. Ya know, Cliff can play the piano with one hand.
- Willy Beamish: [teasing] What's he doin' with the other hand?
- Tiffany Beamish: Cliff is like... so intellectual. Ya know what I mean?
- Willy Beamish: [teasing] Then what's he doin' with you?
- Willy Beamish: Hey, Dad. Since you're in a good mood, can I have my allowance?
- Gordon Beamish: [frowns] Not so fast, pal. What do you think I am? Made outta money? Money doesn't grow on trees, ya know. You gotta earn it!
- Willy Beamish: Aw, Dad! Gimme a break.
- Gordon Beamish: [smiles] You know, when I was a boy...
- Willy Beamish: [rolls his eyes upward] I've heard that story a million times.
- Gordon Beamish: Everyone's gotta pull their own weight around here. Now go wash the Grange Rover.
- Willy Beamish: [reluctantly] Okay, okay. I suppose you want a hot wax, too.
- Gordon Beamish: Just a wash that's all.
- Willy Beamish: [smiles] Consider it done.
- [Willy washes the family car]
- Willy Beamish: [muses] This is not how I imagined myself spending the summer.
- Narrator: Last week, Gordon gave Willy a beginner's tool set. Two days ago, Willy nailed the closet doors shut. Yesterday, Gordon took the tool set back to the store.