- R.T. Howard: [referring to Tuesday's hair] Wow, how do you get it to stand up?
- June Tuesday: How do *you* get it to stand up?
- Corey Howard: Heads up! Punk rock rooster at twelve o'clock!
- June Tuesday: Did you just make some stupid, middle-class comment about my hair?
- Corey Howard: No.
- June Tuesday: Oh. Well, what do you ask for? The Blue Lagoon?
- Corey Howard: Well, what do you ask for? The Stegosaurus?
- June Tuesday: Ow! I'm so not going to the prom with you.
- Corey Howard: What am I supposed to do, huh? Live in a dump and drink out of bug candles the rest of my life? You know what I ought to tell her tomorrow at work? Done. Forget it. It's over. Because if she rejects my family, she rejects me.
- Roger: What is this, Godfather III?
- [Corey and Tuesday argue about coffee or something]
- Corey Howard: Whatever Spikey Maggoo!
- Margaret: Spikey Maggoo? Where'd you get that one from? Your Dad?
- Corey Howard: [remains silent]
- Margaret: Oh, my God, you did!
- June Tuesday: So, why don't you tell your brother that's why I don't like hangin' out in his perfect little world. How's a person supposed to sleep when people aren't screaming at each other?
- Katie Howard: Well, you should've been around when my parents were still together. They fought constantly. My mother's a control freak and my dad screws around.
- Patty: Yeah, I think I slept with him.
- Margaret: Are you willing to blow this relationship because you want to make a stand about where you sleep?
- June Tuesday: Maybe.
- Margaret: Mmm-hmm. Trust me, you will be rewarded by the universe for your efforts as your souls merge into a brilliant cornucopia of light... I'm startin' to wonder if that was really an aspirin Zeke gave me.
- Katie Howard: It's a fondue set! "Congratulations on your recent... nuptials." Did I get married?
- Owen: Uh, well, some of the guys on the ship might think you did.
- Katie Howard: Why would they think that?
- Owen: 'Cause that's what I told them.
- R.T. Howard: [talking about Patty] So, uh, that was Roger's girlfriend, huh?
- Corey Howard: Yeah.
- R.T. Howard: Yeah. Yeah, good for him... I think I had her.
- Corey Howard: What?
- R.T. Howard: Yeah, it was a few years ago on St. Patrick's Day. I was bombed on green beer, and she was as cute as a damn leprechaun.
- Margaret: Corey, go out back and spot Zeke on the ladder. I need you to keep an eye on him. Sometimes he thinks he can fly.
- Sophia: You know, Corey, if we were still dating, I could get any of your songs played at this club.
- Sophia: Oh, yeah, if we were still dating. Except, as I recall, you broke up with me and started dating my sister.
- Corey Howard: We're not dating! It's more like harassment!
- Corey Howard: Ugh! What's that smell?
- R.T. Howard: That smell is my little entrepreneur.
- Katie Howard: I'm making scented candles.
- Corey Howard: They smell like death!
- Katie Howard: Death? Or pina colada?
- Corey Howard: Death!
- Katie Howard: Did you and Corey have a fight?
- June Tuesday: No, I just - I can't sleep. This house is so... quiet. You know, I'd - I'd love to hear just one little siren, or - or maybe a gunshot.
- [Corey is shaving, Katie walks in]
- Katie Howard: I'll take that!
- [Katie takes Corey's razor]
- Corey Howard: What are you doing?
- Katie Howard: I'm throwing it out because it's plastic, and non-biodegradable.
- Corey Howard: Well,
- [Corey holds up Katie's razor]
- Corey Howard: why aren't you throwing out your razor?
- Katie Howard: Because I'm an environmentalist.
- [Katie takes her razor]
- Katie Howard: I'm just not ready to be a *hairy* environmentalist.
- Roger: Have either of you seen Patty?
- Corey Howard, Owen: No.
- Corey Howard: Have you seen Tuesday?
- Roger, Owen: No.
- Owen: What about Katie?
- Roger, Corey Howard: No.
- Owen: Oh, my God. They've evacuated the women.
- June Tuesday: So, what, you want me to stay at your house with you and your family?
- Corey Howard: Well, we don't all sleep in the same room, you know. Come on, it'll be fun. We have doors.
- Katie Howard: Have a cupcake. I made them with my new muffin pans. They were a wedding present we received from the ship's chaplain.
- Owen: Oh, Father Chip. That's so nice.
- Katie Howard: Owen, you lied to a man of the cloth! We are not married!
- Owen: And whose fault is that?
- [Roger walks in]
- Roger: Katie, have you got a couple minutes?
- Katie Howard: Yes.
- Roger: Do you consider yourself to be someone who -- knows a good value?
- Katie Howard: Yes.
- Roger: And if you could save some money, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
- Katie Howard: Why, yes.
- Roger: And if I said you could be driving a brand new car with no money down, you'd be interested, right?
- Katie Howard: Yes.
- Roger: Congratulations! You just bought a brand new car!
- Katie Howard: I see what you did! That was very convincing.
- Roger: Thank you.
- [Roger begins to exit]
- Katie Howard: What colour is it? What colour is my brand new car?
- Roger: Doesn't matter, it's a done deal.
- Katie Howard: It is not! I wanna see the manager!
- Roger: Damn, I get that all the time!
- Katie Howard: Hello! Do you think I could put one of these up?
- [Katie holds up a poster]
- June Tuesday: Let me guess... A Cindy Lauper look-a-like contest? I think you've got a lock on it!
- Katie Howard: Uh, that's so mean! You must be Tuesday! I'm Katie, Corey's sister.
- [Corey walks up]
- Corey Howard: Oh, Earthday '84... Wow! It's early this year. - Still signing my checks Earthday '83.
- [Corey laughs at his own joke]
- Corey Howard: [Tuesday sarcastically laughs]
- June Tuesday: That was funny... To no one!
- Corey Howard: Wait a minute, you thought I was funny this morning when we were making fun of the yuppies.
- June Tuesday: That was then... This is now.
- [Tuesday exits]
- Katie Howard: I think she likes you!