- Spider-Man: This is how my story begins, my uncle Ben and Aunt May raised me like a son, they never had much money though. I thought my powers could make up for that. The last time I saw Uncle Ben alive, we argued. I took out my frustration in the ring, Poor old Bonesaw hadn't even saw me comin'.
- Bone Saw McGraw: WAH! NO MORE MR. NICEGUY!
- Spider-Man: The fight promoter cheated me, so I didn't think it was my problem he got robbed.
- Spider-Man: Life sure is strange sometimes. No matter how long you want to hold on to a moment, you can't stop time from moving on.
- [while fighting the Shocker]
- Spider-Man: So you're called the Shocker, but you don't use electricity. I don't get it.
- Spider-Man: [to Shocker] So you must be..."Quilt-Man"..."Padded Pete"..."Mister Triple-Ply?" Oh! I got it! "The Cushion"!
- Shocker: I'm *The Shocker*! I'd tell you not to forget it, but you won't be around long enough to worry about that!
- [gestures to oblivious guy talking on a cell phone]
- Shocker: Now say goodbye to Mr. Innocent Bystander, sucker!
- Green Goblin: How can you be so naive? These people would never lay a finger to help you!
- Spider-Man: Well since they don't have the power to fly or bend steel with their bare hands I can't say I blame them!
- Spider-Man: Who are you? wait let me guess, "The Emerald Elf"?
- Green Goblin: Me? I'm just a concerned citizen, helping to clean up our fair city!
- [Spider-Man walks to the Shocker as he lies defeated on the ground]
- Spider-Man: Looks like your flying friend's getting your share of the loot, too. Where'd be get off to, anyway?
- [shocker groans as Spider-Man picks him up]
- Shocker: If I don't get mine, Vulture isn't getting his. He had some workshop set up, up in the old clock tower, on the Lower East Side.
- [Spider-Man drops the Shocker to the ground]
- Spider-Man: Vulture, huh? Thanks, Shocker. Give my regards to my fans in the slammer!
- Spider-Man: [during basic training] Wow! I can't believe how much stronger I've become!
- Tour Guide: Good for you. Listen, if you want to beat up some more bad guys, simply knock on the door by pressing the "punch" button. When you're done, web swing over to your next objective. I'm going to go get a ham sandwich.
- New Yorker: Hey look! It's Spider-Man!
- Spider-Man: Just don't use that "bird-plane" metaphor. That's the other guy.
- [Army of Darkness at the start of basic training]
- Tour Guide: Get the gum out of your ears and listen good.
- [while being attacked by a flying robot]
- Spider-Man: I know I've made some enemies, but this is a bit much!
- Green Goblin: Can't you see we're cut from the same cloth? We aren't like normal people!
- Spider-Man: Speak for yourself!
- Spider-Man: Let's talk about this, Scorpion! You need help.
- Scorpion: Talk? No, no talking, you can't take me back!
- Spider-Man: I wouldn't even know where to take you back to.
- Green Goblin: Let's find some new people to play with, shall we?
- Spider-Man: I'd like to vote against that.
- Shocker: Don't panic boys. It was only a matter of time before we had to deal with Spider-Man. Let's take care of security and round up some hostages!
- Security Guard: [to his walkie-talkie as Shocker's men approach him] Uh, we have a situation here! We need backup!
- [Mary Jane gently grabs Spider-Man by the arm and then kisses his cheek]
- Mary Jane: Go get 'im, Tiger!
- [on inter-com in the bowling alley]
- Tour Guide: Attention bowlers! Attention bowlers! Tuesday night is Evil Robot Night!
- [on inter-com in the bowling alley]
- Tour Guide: On Saturdays, super villains bowl free with proper I.D.
- [on inter-com in the bowling alley]
- Tour Guide: Will the owner of the white Dante van, license number "SHOCK ME", please remove your car from the handicapped spot? Loser.
- [on inter-com in the bowling alley]
- Tour Guide: We have a special on chili fries. Tonight - with chili!
- [while Spider-Man web-swings to catch up with the Vulture in the rain, the Vulture causes damage to a water tower on a rooftop]
- Vulture: Those people look thirsty, don't they? Why don't I serve them a drink?
- Spider-Man: I think the folks down there are wet enough already!
- Spider-Man: Come on Shock, you know I can't let you run around down here without a chaperon
- Shocker: Webslinger, you've been riding me all day I'm gonna finish this once and for all!
- [Spider-Man had just defeated Spike]
- Spider-Man: [looks at Spike's face and finds out he's Uncle Ben's killer] No! You! Not you!
- Spike: [backing off] Stay back! I'm warning you, you psycho!
- Spider-Man: [in complete shock] I could've stopped you at the fight promoter's office... I could've saved Uncle Ben...
- [Spike trips over his own feet and falls out the window to his death]
- Kraven the Hunter: Blades to black the walls... electricity to bock the sky... YOU aRE CAGED, SPIDER!
- Spider-Man: I guess Kraven never won any good sportsmanship awards.
- Kraven the Hunter: Welcome Spider... I.. Am KRAVEN... the WORLD'S greatest hunter... ..Now that youre in my trap we could begin our contest of strength.
- Spider-Man: Is that like a sweepstakes? I always loose those away... nice outfit by th way... where's Siegfried.?
- Kraven the Hunter: Ha haha HaHaha Ha!
- Skull: Circus in town?
- Spider-Man: A car-jacker killed an old man earlier today. The killer's a skull. Where is he?
- Skull: I can't tell you, he'd kill me.
- Spider-Man: What makes you think I won't?
- Green Goblin: There's no need for us to fight!
- Spider-Man: Yeah, once you stop lobbing bombs at me, we'll see about that!
- Spider-Man: Uncle Ben... nothing could fill the hole left when he died. Those wounds never really heal.
- Green Goblin: You don't seem like you're enjoying yourself! Aren't you having any fun?
- Spider-Man: Um... no.
- Spider-Man: [while fighting some robots] You aren't from the future or something lame like that, right?