- Bugs Bunny: Gee, it was really nice of Wal-Mart to give us all this free Wal-Mart stuff just for saying "Wal-Mart" so many times.
- DJ Drake: This security guard thing, that's just what I do for money. I'm a... I'm a stuntman.
- Daffy Duck: You? A stuntman? Please.
- DJ Drake: I am! Did you see those "Mummy" movies? I'm in there more than Brendan Fraser is!
- [Bugs is served a martini by one of the contraptions in Damian Drake's spy car]
- Bugs Bunny: Oh, well... it's five o' clock somewhere.
- Kate Houghton: If you touch one more thing...
- Bugs Bunny: Shhh... I'm about to defy you.
- [Daffy is cowering inside a ship and sucking his thumb while Bugs is fighting Marvin]
- Daffy Duck: What am I gonna do? What would Damian Drake do? What would Duck Dodgers do? Wait a minute! I *AM* Duck Dodgers!
- [he "spins" into his Duck Dodgers costume]
- Daffy Duck: Yes! I'm going to be the hero of this picture!
- [he straps one of four jetpacks on]
- Daffy Duck: DUCK DODGERS TO THE RESCUE!
- [the jetpack blows up. Dazed and singed from the explosion, Daffy straps on another]
- Daffy Duck: Duck Dodgers to the rescue!
- [the jetpack blows up again. Even more dazed and singed, Daffy straps on a third]
- Daffy Duck: Duck Dodgers...
- [the jetpack blows up yet again. More annoyed than dazed, with his once-tattered costume now non-existent, Daffy turns and simply glares at the fourth jetpack]
- Daffy Duck: Duck.
- [the jetpack blows up once more. Daffy suddenly flies out of the ship with another jetpack strapped on, his costume and spirits restored]
- Daffy Duck: Ha-ha! It's you-know-who to the rescue!
- [to the audience]
- Daffy Duck: It helps if you don't say the name.
- [the bad guys threaten our heroes with TNT]
- Kate Houghton: Who has *dynamite*?
- Daffy Duck: Welcome to *my* world.
- [on Lillard's portrayal of Shaggy]
- Shaggy: What kind of performance do you call that? You made me sound like a total space cadet, man!
- Matthew Lillard: I'm sorry you feel that way. I was just trying to be real to your character.
- Shaggy: If you, like, goof up on me in the sequel, I'ma coming after ya!
- Scooby Doo: Reah. And Ri'll rive you a Scooby Smack!
- [Scooby growls viciously at Lillard]
- Porky Pig: [just before the end credits, Porky tries to say "That's all Folks!" but doesn't quite get there] Go home, folks.
- [as the spy car plummets to earth, Daffy calls his stockbroker on his cellphone]
- Daffy Duck: Sell all my Warner Brothers stock! I got an inside tip that Bugs Bunny's about to die!
- Porky Pig: F-f-first they told me to lose the stutter, now they tell me I'm not funny anymore!
- [sigh]
- Porky Pig: It's a pain in the butt being p-p-politically correct.
- Speedy Gonzales: You're telling me.
- [Dusty comes out in a shiny black outfit]
- Daffy Duck: How many galoshes died to make *that* little number?
- Mr. Chairman: This is unacceptable. We cannot have nine-year-olds working in sweatshops making ACME goods... when three-year-olds work for so much less...
- [all the VPs reach for their buzzers. The VP of Child Labor gets to his first]
- Acme VP, Child Labor: But they require naps, sir.
- Mr. Chairman: Put double espresso in their sippy cups.
- Daffy Duck: You live with Daddy?
- DJ Drake: Yeah, so? only... temporarily...
- Daffy Duck: Oh, I've hit rock-bottom. I'm hanging out with a security guard who lives with his father.
- [slips on an animated banana peel]
- Yosemite Sam: Yikes!
- [Opens fire on the banana peel]
- Yosemite Sam: Dadburn slapstick cliché!
- Bugs Bunny: Eh, what gives, doc? We made thirty-five pictures togetha'.
- Elmer Fudd: Well, as it turns out, I'm secwetwy evil.
- Daffy Duck: That's showbiz for ya!
- Elmer Fudd: Now, make with da the card; so I can pwease my dark masters!
- Mr. Chairman: [Referring to the screen showing DJ's dad about to meet his demise] Here is you father tied up on the tracks, and here is the train of death right on schedule. You see Mr. Drake, if the train of death doesn't kill your father, then maybe those crates of TNT will, not to mention the two ton anvil hanging over his head, and...
- Mr. Chairman: [Noticing the pendulum of doom] Oh, and look there's the pendulum of doom! What's the pendulum of doom doing there? I did not order the pendulum of doom!
- Mr. Chairman: [On the intercom with Wile Ethelbert Coyote] That's overkill! Get rid of it!
- Daffy Duck: Okay, Toots, hand over the diamond.
- Dusty Tails: [to herself after pushing DJ out the door] He brought a goose?
- Daffy Duck: It's "duck", thank you.
- Bugs Bunny: [fishing from a boat in the backseat of Kate's flooded Alfa Romeo] Well, whaddya know, I found Nemo!
- Kate Houghton: I need you to eject this duck.
- DJ Drake: Lady, this is Daffy Duck.
- Kate Houghton: Not anymore; we own the name.
- Daffy Duck: Oh yeah? Well, you can't stop ME from calling myself D-(gasp)... D-(gasp)... well, whatayaknow.
- [DJ sees a spaceship heading right towards them]
- DJ Drake: Dad, I think we should move.
- Damien Drake: What's wrong with Beverly Hills?
- DJ Drake: I meant from this spot.
- Bugs Bunny: I'm tellin ya, Daffy, I heard the Warner Brothers say that you were their best duck.
- Daffy Duck: Flattered though I may be, flattened I will not, in order for you to get the laughs! It's all "woo-hoo, yuk yuk", and then "wham, bam, blam!"
- [whacks himself around for added emphasis]
- Bugs Bunny: And your tail's on fire.
- Daffy Duck: Exactly my point! I...
- Bugs Bunny: No, I mean your tail's on fire.
- [Daffy sees that his tail IS on fire - he runs around trying to extinguish it - Bugs laughs]
- Bugs Bunny: Daff, you're accident prone.
- [Daffy finally puts out his tail]
- Daffy Duck: Oh, what am I talking to you for? All you have to do is munch on a carrot and people love you.
- Daffy Duck: Ah, it's good to stretch.
- DJ Drake: You know, I'm getting really tired of throwing you out of the car.
- Daffy Duck: That's my plan in a nutshell.
- Daffy Duck: You'd never catch that rabbit doing something this heroic.
- Bugs Bunny: [appearing in the seat next to Daffy] Eh, what's up, duck?
- Daffy Duck: You're dethpicable.
- DJ Drake: [to Kate] You.
- Kate Houghton: [to DJ] You.
- Daffy Duck: [to Bugs] You.
- Bugs Bunny: [about DJ] Him.
- Daffy Duck: [about Kate] Her.
- Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck: Them.
- [DJ and Yosemite Sam follow the Queen of Diamonds playing card to Foghorn Leghorn's blackjack table, where it gets shuffled into the deck]
- Foghorn Leghorn: Place, I say, place your bets! Money plays, loser stays! Everyone's a winn - well, not everyone.
- Yosemite Sam: [Drops a bag of money on the table] Here's my money, now play!
- Foghorn Leghorn: Card, sir?
- DJ Drake: Hit me.
- Foghorn Leghorn: Don'cha, I say, don'cha wanna look at your cards first, son? Boy's as sharp as a bowling ball.
- DJ Drake: [looks at the card; it's an ace] Hit me.
- Yosemite Sam: No, hit me first!
- Foghorn Leghorn: Wait your, I saya wait your turn, sir.
- [deals another ace to DJ]
- DJ Drake: Hit me.
- [Foghorn deals another ace]
- DJ Drake: Hit me.
- Yosemite Sam: No, hit me!
- [Foghorn continues to deal aces and twos to DJ. Sam can't take it anymore]
- Yosemite Sam: No, no, no, hit ME, fragnabbit!
- [Foghorn glances at the audience, then smashes Sam in the head with a piece of wood. Squashed, Sam scuttles around the table, cursing unintelligibly]
- Foghorn Leghorn: He's the boss.
- [Back to DJ]
- Foghorn Leghorn: Card Sir?
- [DJ winces at the possibility of himself getting hit as well]
- DJ Drake: [unsure] ... Hit me?
- [Foghorn finally deals the Queen of Diamonds; DJ snatches it off the table]
- Foghorn Leghorn: Twenty-one! We have, I say we have a winner!
- [DJ and Daffy break for the door]
- Daffy Duck: And then, they made their heroic escape!
- [Daffy runs facefirst into the door that isn't open. DJ comes back, peels Daffy off, and exits again]
- [a Wal-Mart appears in the desert]
- Bugs Bunny: Is that a mirage, or just product placement?
- Daffy Duck: Oh, who cares, with shopping convenience at such low prices? Water! Fresca! Mountain Dew! Your Product Name Here!
- DJ Drake: Is this your idea?
- Kate Houghton: The audience expects it. They don't even notice this kind of thing anymore.
- Mr. Chairman: My God, man, what am I going to do with you? You've done nothing but screw up. You've walked off of mesas, been smashed by boulders, and run over by diesel trucks. And don't blame the equipment. The equipment is good. It's Acme equipment. You're a coyote. Be wily.
- Daffy Duck: [Daffy and DJ try escape in DJ's beat-up car] All right, let's see what this baby can really do.
- Daffy Duck: [DJ tries to start the car and it falls apart] Now that's an interesting feature.
- DJ Drake: What brings you to Las Vegas. You ran out of people to fire in LA?
- Kate Houghton: You stole my duck.
- Daffy Duck: Your duck? Bah! I belong to the world.
- DJ Drake: You know what? You can have him.
- Daffy Duck: I don't know the meaning of the word fear.
- [opens door to find Yosemite Sam aiming a cannon at him]
- Yosemite Sam: Say your prayers, duck!
- Daffy Duck: Fear: Noun. A state of terror. Yaaaaah!
- Bugs Bunny: [car almost crashes and then stops all of a sudden] Eh, out of gas.
- Kate Houghton: [screen goes black] What? It doesn't work like that!
- Bugs Bunny: [screen goes back to car as it crashes] Thanks, toots.
- [the group is lost in the desert]
- Bugs Bunny: I told you we should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque.
- Daffy Duck: Now don't start that again.
- Kate Houghton: [She and Bugs Bunny is scrolling Las Vegas in Damien Drake's car] There's gotta be 314 hotels and 142 casinos in Las Vegas. We are never going to find that duck.
- [Daffy runs toward the cars and slams on the windshelid.; Kate sighs]
- Bugs Bunny: [Chuckles] Daff nerver misses a cue.
- [DJ approaches Daffy and restores his body, then puts him into the car]
- Bugs Bunny: What's up, duck?
- Daffy Duck: Don't you start with me.
- Granny: Now, I you can just give me the diamond...
- [takes off a disguise]
- Mr. Chairman: immediately!
- Tweety Bird: oh! now it't my turn...
- [takes off a disguise]
- Tasmanian Devil: [roars and then farts] pardon.
- DJ Drake: I knew it was you!
- Mr. Chairman: well you're wrong! 'cause I'm not me! I'm actually...
- [takes off another disguise]
- Damien Drake: your farther.
- DJ Drake: Dad?
- Damien Drake: look into your heart son, you know it's true.
- DJ Drake: no, it can't be.
- Damien Drake: well you're right! because it *isn't*!
- [takes off another disguise]
- Michael Jordan: right, lets do some drills.
- [takes off another disguise]
- Mr. Chairman: [maniacal laughing] well who's laughing now?
- [crickets chirping]
- Mr. Chairman: well, apparently no one.
- [making suggestions to improve Bugs's image]
- Kate Houghton: So, what do we do? We team you up with a hot female co-star!
- Bugs Bunny: Usually...
- [dresses in drag]
- Bugs Bunny: *I* play the female love interest!
- [Michigan J. Frog, at the table behind Bugs, jumps up and begins to sing "Hello, My Baby"]
- Kate Houghton: Okay, about the crossdressing thing - then, funny; now, disturbing.
- [Bugs removes the dress and lipstick]
- Bugs Bunny: Lady, if you don't find a rabbit wearin' lipstick amusing, then we ain't got nothin' to say to each other.
- Daffy Duck: I'm afraid the brothers Warner must choose between a handsome matinee idol, or this miscreant perpetrator of low burlesque.
- [points at Bugs, who is wearing Groucho glasses and a spinning bowtie; everyone laughs]
- Mr. Warner's Brother: Whichever one's not the duck.
- [Bugs and Daffy crash-land their spaceship through the window of Acme HQ, then walk away unscathed]
- Bugs Bunny: I think we scratched it.
- Daffy Duck: Who cares, it's a rental.
- Bugs Bunny: All those in favour of us *not* hitting that wall, say 'aye'.
- Kate Houghton, DJ Drake, Daffy Duck: Aye!
- Daffy Duck: Mother!
- Spy Car Computer: Taking you to Mother!
- Bugs Bunny: So this is Area 51?
- Mother: No.
- Bugs Bunny: The secret government base?
- Mother: No.
- Bugs Bunny: Where they keep all the aliens?
- Mother: No. Area 51 is a paranoid fantasy we concocted to hide the true nature of this facility.
- DJ Drake: Which is?
- Mother: Area 52.
- [Bugs, flying alongside Marvin, points to a map, and signals for Marvin to lower his window]
- Marvin the Martian: Earthlings have no sense of direction!
- [Marvin lowers the window, and is sucked out into space]
- Daffy Duck: Well, what do you know, he fell for it. I guess I owe you $5!
- Kate Houghton: Look, I'm trying to be nice, but I was brought in to leverage your synergy, and I am not going to let you or some wacky duck...
- Bugs Bunny: Daffy.
- Kate Houghton: Wacky, daffy, nutty, fruitcake, crispy over rice, it doesn't matter.
- Bugs Bunny: [produces award statuettes] Well, these matter...
- [hoists up Walk of Fame star]
- Bugs Bunny: ...and this, and they say bring Daffy back. Right, boys?
- Statuettes: We want Daffy! We want Daffy