- Lucia Rojas-Klein: What about Steve from craft services?
- Dylan Messinger: Yeah, sure.
- Lucia Rojas-Klein: Do you think Jake is cute?
- Dylan Messinger: I haven't really thought about it.
- Lucia Rojas-Klein: Oh, and you thought of Fat Steve with the sandles and snaggled toe?
- Dylan Messinger: Lucia, I'm happy with Gavin.
- Lucia Rojas-Klein: Ah, listen to you. I did not ask if you were happy with Gavin, I asked if you thought Jake was cute.
- Dylan Messinger: I told you haven't really thought about it.
- Lucia Rojas-Klein: Are you thinking about it now?
- Dylan Messinger: No.
- Lucia Rojas-Klein: Are you thinking about it now?
- Dylan Messinger: No.
- Lucia Rojas-Klein: Are you thinking about it now?
- Sister Brenda: If we're talking in religious terms.
- Dylan Messinger: What do you mean?
- Sister Brenda: If the UPS man was a hymn, I'd sing him everyday.
- Jake Silver: There's something about your eyes and your smile... and it's not just that they light up a room. They're the gateway to a world I want to be a part of.
- [in the dressing room]
- Gavin Stone: What are you doing in here?
- Penny: [Sitting in a chair, reading a magazine] I'm on my way to the warehouse to pick up some film, and with all this traffic, it might be a while.
- Gavin Stone: Why are you smoking?
- Penny: It's my car, I can do what I want.
- Gavin Stone: You don't seem to be burdened with any sexual hang ups.
- Penny: Dog, I am a slut with skills.
- Claire: Jake, I need you to sign my paycheck.
- Jake Silver: Claire, this is my paycheck.
- Claire: You sound just like that bitchy teller.
- Penny: I can't believe that girl actually thought I had a crush on you. She's crazier than a bum arguing with his elbow.
- Roberta Diaz: You're actually willing to let him go? You must be a COMPLETE IDIOT.
- Jake: That hurts... only because of your voice.
- [Gavin and Dylan have broken up and Jake goes to see Gavin]
- Gavin: Who's there?
- Jake: It's me, Jake.
- [Gavin looks through the peephole, but can't see Jake]
- Gavin: Prove it. Jump up.
- Jake: Ha, ha. I'm short. Open the door.
- Gavin: Why?
- Jake: I don't think you should be alone tonight.
- Gavin: Sure, make your move when I'm vulnerable.
- Jake: Ha, ha. I'm *gay*.
- Jake: Roberta, you can't be serious. What, do you think Stone is Stone Phillips? He's not even McKENZIE PHILLIPS .
- [trying to convince Dylan there's nothing between him and Penny]
- Jake: I mean, it's Penny. She's like my little brother.
- Jake: Yeah, well some girl named Penny was supposed to pick me up at the airport.
- Girl: Oh, Penny. Well there's your problem. She's completely unreliable. I mean, she's hot, but all she does is scarf the free food, hang around the office and annoy people.
- Jake: Well there's one in every office.
- Girl: Yeah.
- Jake: I'm Jake Silver.
- Girl: I'm Penny.
- [Seeing Gavin's diamond earrings]
- Penny: Ooooh, nice. Wanna trade? Hey, tell me, what did George Michael get for them? Oh, wait. Never mind... I already know.
- Gavin (smirking): Big words from someone who's footprints are on the front of my windshield.
- [Jake is smelling pillows on which Dylan sat, after she left]
- Claire: You are smelling pillows?
- Jake Silver: I can stop anytime I want!
- Gavin Stone: You're my girlfriend.
- Penny: You're my boyfriend.
- Gavin Stone: So the next step is to find beach and run in slow motion.
- Jake Silver: Gavin, a little tough on the spelling-bee champ.
- Gavin Stone: Hey, a girl that chunky should know how to spell dessert.
- Penny: Okay, Jake, I'm gonna try and make this clear enough for you to finally grasp, okay? Dylan is in love with Gavin. Gavin is her man. Gavin, not you. You're Jake. Jake is not her man. Her man is Gavin. Gavin is not Jake. Jake is alone.
- Gavin Stone: Hey, Bessie. You wanna go easy on that cud?
- Lucia Rojas-Klein: Why does everything have to turn into a cheap insult with you, woman hips?