- Jimmy: I've drunk three pints of milk a day for as long as I can remember, and the benefits have been unbelievable. 'Cause of all the calcium, I've never had a filling or been knocked out. My bones are as hard as rock.
- Pressman: Uh, Jimmy, do you really think that you stand a chance against Jose Mendez?
- [Jimmy is stuck for an answer]
- Pressman: [to photograher] Get a shot of him.
- Jimmy: Well, my dad once said, "There's normally a winner in a two-horse race". Obviously neither me or Jose are horses, but I think the moral of the story is anything can happen. I believe that.
- Jimmy: I'm a bit confused about everything that's going on at the moment.
- Clive Connelly: Does it... does it feel like everyone's trying to pull your trousers down, son?
- Jimmy: Yeah. Yeah, that's it exactly.
- Clive Connelly: My advice to you is... start wearing a belt.
- [Closing title card: "Nothing's out of reach if you've got long arms. " - Clive Connelly]
- Paddy O'Flannagan: Now Johnny, I want you to close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and visualize yourself sitting in a beautiful field beside a quaint little stream. A lovely breeze blows over your face, and you feel safe and calm. Safe and calm. Safe and calm.
- Jimmy: AAAH! A giant angry Jose shot out of the stream, dragged me out by the ears and dragged me under.
- Jimmy: [holding a shirt with 'The Kalcium Kid' on it] But "calcium" is spelled with a 'C,' not a 'K', Mr. Bush.
- Herbie Bush: It's very important to be original in this game, Jimmy. You've always got to keep your opponent guessing. Calcium C, kalcium K. C? K? He's flummoxed.
- Pete Wright: [starting to go off his nut] I was fucking robbed!
- Sebastian Gore-Brown: Oh, shit!
- Pete Wright: Stick this in your poxy documentary!
- [pushes over table]
- Sebastian Gore-Brown: Shit, Dave, get the fucking gear!
- Pete Wright: And if you ever come back, I'll serve the fucking pair o' ya !
- Herbie Bush: Leonard! Tell him what you're gonna do to him if he doesnt fight Mendez.
- Leonard: Something painful, gov.
- Sebastian Gore-Brown: Is there... is there a problem, Mr Cohen?
- Artie Cohen: A problem? Well, my definition of a problem is a trivial annoyance easily overcome with quickness of thought. No, this is a situation.
- Sebastian Gore-Brown: And... and and what exactly is-is your-your definition of a-a situation?
- Artie Cohen: Two limey fuck filmmakers hanging from their skinny pricks over an eighth floor balcony, for shooting unauthorized footage of an Artie Cohen fighter. THIS! THIS IS MY DEFINITION OF A SITUATION!
- Jimmy: [alone under the bedcover] Say my name. Mm. Yeah, baby, yeah. Yeah...
- Sebastian Gore-Brown: [clears throat] Jimmy?
- [Jimmy looks up from underneath the cover]
- Sebastian Gore-Brown: Morning. Um, we're the documentary team. We'll be filming you 24 hours a day in the run-up to the fight.
- Jimmy: Of course, the fight. Who would have thought it? Jimmy Connelly fighting Jose Mendez for the championship belt.
- Sebastian Gore-Brown: So, tell us, how does Jimmy Connelly start his day?
- Jimmy: Umm... Well, as you probably noticed... I normally start off in the morning with a set of fifty sit-ups... yeah.
- Stan Parlour: Don't you worry about a thing, pal. With me in control of your psychological preparation, Mendez will get his in the ring - and if he doesn't, then we'll catch up to him afterwards and give it to him South London style. Know what I mean?
- Herbie Bush: An'... you know what... what
- [bleep]
- Herbie Bush: these Yanks can be. And maybe you can put a bleep over 'pricks' bit.
- Jimmy: My dad gave me some good advice once: "Speak if you have something to say." I always thought that was pretty clever. I don't think he ever thought I'd be talking to the press though, eh?
- Jimmy: [reads out loud from a newspaper] "Fascist fighter shames nation"? "Jimmy 'the Calcium Kid' Connelly will be fighting Jose Mendez for the middle-weight championship of the world on Saturday, but he will be doing so without the support of this newspaper. Connelly showed up at pre-fight press conference dressed in full Union Jack attire and lambasted Jose Mendez in the name of Queen and country."... What does lambasted mean?
- Sebastian Gore-Brown: How long have you been involved in the sport of pugilism, Mr. Bush?
- Herbie Bush: I'm sorry. There must be some kind of mistake. I'm in the boxing game.
- Artie Cohen: The only relationships I have, Mr. Bush, are with my fighters and my wife; so, unless you can throw eleven jabs in three seconds or enjoy eating strawberries from between my toes, you stand little chance of qualifying as either.
- Herbie Bush: Didn't do yourself justice last night, did you, Jimmy? Laid it on a bit thick, didn't you, son? What I gave you was an outline, an idea, a concept for you to take and finesse and make your very own. Let's say I am the map and you are the driver. Whether you turn left or right or do a uey is entirely up to you.
- Jimmy: But before the press conference, you told me to follow your directions EXACTLY so we could "weave a little Bush magic."