Titanic: The Legend Goes On...

I am a bad movie lover. This does not mean that I watch terrible films all the time, but I do occasionally like to watch films so incredibly awful that they make me laugh. It all began when I read the great Harry Medved book "The 50 Worst Movies of All Time"...and I recently found and watched the final film from this list. Since then, I've taken on IMDb's ever-changing Bottom 100 list--and "Titanic: The Legend Goes On" is very prominently featured on it. Unfortunately, it's been very difficult to find the movie and I finally found it posted on YouTube.

So is the movie lousy? Oh, yeah...absolutely terrible. The animation is wretched--and looks like some of the very worst animation of the 1960s. You'd never know it was made recently--it just doesn't come close to the quality of animated films today. The English language version sucks as well because of poor voice acting. To make it worse, the characters are just god-awful. Who would have thought of introducing supposedly cute human-like animals onto the Titanic?! Placing such creatures in a fantasy world might have worked--having them aboard a ship that killed over a thousand folks a century ago just seems tacky. It's STILL too soon to try something like this! Overall, there's nothing to like or appreciate about this film--not the story, nor the direction nor the art...it's all bottom of the rung and worthless. And, sadly, unlike many bad films, it's not even fun or funny...it's just bad!

This is clearly the worst animated musical I have every seen in my life. I honestly don't know ware to begin because there so much wrong with it that I can't fit it all in to one review. So keep in mind this review is just the tip of the iceberg to how bad this movie is. My first problem with this movie is the idea of trying to take the real life tragedy of Titanic and attempting to turn it in to a goofy, happy and feel good event. Thousand of innocent men, women and children drowned or freeze to death due to the fact they were not prepared for a sinking. Yet this not only dumb down those real life horrors but flat out ignores them and attempts to make things all bright and cheery with a bunch badly drawn cartoon animals that cant sing (or rap). Yes dear reader, there a rap song in this movie (a horrible one to) that comes out of no ware from a dog. One moment he saving a mouse and then he is holding a boom box's, warring a backwards cap and jerseys in a movie about Titanic! The second major problem of this movie is that there where way to many sub plots. It's not uncommon for movie to have one sub plot or possibly two but this movie (including the main story) has at least seven plots and all them do a very poor job at being tied in to gather. I'm also surprise there was no law suits against this movie. All the character here are rip off of popular American films ( mainly children film) There Cinderella, 101 Dalmatians, American Tail, Looney Toons and whole bunch of other non original characters. In spite of the fact movie it's given a lot film time it doesn't use any of it to fully devolve any of the characters. Instead it seem to be in a constant rush from jumping from one sub plot to another. The movie would of been better off deleting half these characters and throwing away all the useless sub plots which where causing it be confusing. All it did was kept characters from having a chance to be more conplete.

Rather then drawling us a whole scene they simply replay footage again and again. As a result it's really hard to tell what's going on in some scenes because it just a jumble mess of repeated clips. Even when you do know what's going on its still painful because the use of stock footage gets very repetitive, tiresome and just shows that there was no effort put into this. Do you really need to see the same ugly drawling doing the same thing 10 times in a row in a single shot? This lead to the next problem. The Animation is dull, plain and as lifeless as all the characters in this movie. The dubbing is bad, movement is choppy and it simply ugly looking. This movie is just as painful to look at as the song are painful to listen to. Lucky for us there's only 3 songs and they all stink! There's the out of place dog Rap, A Mexican salsa song and the love song that keeps being played over and over to pass as more then one song, now that's just cheap. The movie doesn't even try to fill in it's own plot holes. For Example there a Cat and Chihuahua who never do anything to begin with are one moment in there cabins with there owners and then the next moment there locked up in a cage in the storage room. Why? I don't know, the movie never explained it.

Finally there the ending that's just a big spit in the face to what really happen that night. There goofy unfunny humor as the ship sinks, the animals are saved by Dolphins and everyone given a happy ending in spite of the lost of thousands of people! There nothing redeeming about this movie at all. Its ugly, confusing, and builds it self by stealing from more successful film. Plus some might find the whole idea of this film offensive. I would not recommend this movie to anyone, not to adults or Kids because watching it only cause's people to drown in the misery it in flicks on us.

That I why I give this shipwreck a 1 out of 10.

Why? Why did this film exist? A film based on one of those horrible tragedies in human history, and they decided to add talking animals, a rapping dog no less. What's next? Schindler's List with Sesame Street?

I honestly can't figure out why a bunch of old Italian exploitation regulars like Camillo Teti (who produced EXTERMINATORS OF THE YEAR 3000) and a zany cast including former a few former porn stars (David Brandon - CALIGULA: THE UNTOLD STORY) and Gregory Snegoff (who did the English language voice dubbing in a number of Anime cartoons, etc.) got together and just suddenly decided to make a Disney/Don Bluth-style animated film. To my knowledge, this is the first internationally released animated movie to come out of Italy, and after viewing it twice, I realize that it's probably for a very good reason.

The animation is actually surprisingly good in places considering the circumstances and the fact that this film was made really, really on the cheap. However, as I said, it is really cheapo, with lots of the same shots being used over and over again. Also a lot of the time the frame rate seems to be really slow, like 5-6 frames per second where most Disney movies are 24. Therefore the movement looks a lot less fluid, almost slideshow-like.

As for the plot and concept of the film itself, it fits well with the lack of technical razzle-dazzle by providing equally an underwhelming story. Basically, there's several stories going on at once, but the film is so short that nothing comes out of any of the stories. There's the typical boy-meets-girl love story, itself a thinly disguised CINDERELLA, plus a subplot involving a Cruella Deville-type crooked lady and her two bumbling henchmen, a story of a detective hunting down some diamond thieves, an aspiring Celine Dion-esque Diva, and several mice resembling the cast of AN AMERICAN TALE. None of these stories have any sort of plot arc and exist only as filler before the ship finally hits the iceberg and many of the annoying characters are unfortunately rescued. As for the not-so-lucky ones, the film just glosses right over that sordid chapter of the Titanic disaster, which historically was not all the fun-and-games that this movie depicts it to be.

To put it bluntly, most parents will be so shocked at the mere mention of the title of the film that they'd not even consider buying it for their children. Thus, this film was bound from the conception stage to wind up as a financial disaster - and another sad reminder as to why the Italian movie industry is on the rocks.

This movie is garbage lower than I can possibly imagine. The animation sucks, the dialogue sucks, the acting sucks, the dubbing sucks, the characters suck, the romance sucks, and there is no form of respect to the people who died on the Titanic. Well lets begin this rant by talking about how lazy the animation is. This film has animation that fails to impress at all. The film constantly shows stock footage from the movie. There really is some of the laziest uses of stock footage I have ever seen in this film. Then there is the terrible dialogue. Simply put it sucks. Then we have the terrible acting. Nobody at all does a good job, and the bad acting is made worse by awful dubbing. There are moments in the film where people are talking, and different recordings of a line will play to finish out the line they were speaking. Yes, these people are so bad they couldn't even finish a line in some cases. Then there is the scene were the singer is singing, and when she supposed to close her mouth for a change in a word she keeps her mouth open. Then we got the stupid romance. Some people say the romance in James Cameron's film was unrealistic. If you don't have the same opinion just show them this movie. The romance is way more unrealistic. At least with James Cameron's film they start to form a friendship before they fall in love. Here they really go by the saying love at first site. Just a few sentences talking to each other, and they start dancing. That is very stupid. Then we have the worst of the worst. This in no way at all give two sh*ts about the people who died on the Titanic. Lets count all the things that show no respect to this tragedy.

1.Talking Animals

2.A Rapping Dog

3.3 Mexican Mice

4.2 Slapstick Robbers Ripped Out Of "Home Alone"

5.The 3 Mexican Mice's Song

6.A Lifeboat Goes Back To Get People When That Never Happened In Real Life

7.The Animals Save The Chef

8.The Two Robbers Making A Silly Face At A Kid While Ship Is Sinking

9.Dolphins Save The Animals

10.The Most Sugar-coated Ending Epilogue Ever Where They Talk About All The Characters, And Their Happy Ending. During This They Don't At All Mention How The Titanic Was A Tragic Event That Killed Over A Thousand People.

This just has no respect. The film also rips-off every last film you can imagine. Titanic, Lady and the Tramp, Home Alone, Cinderella, An American Tale, Beauty and the Beast, The Rescuers, etc. This film is so unoriginal. Overall this movie is inhuman. This poorly made, unserious, sugar-coated mess I can't believe was actually made. Screw this no good piece of crap.

0 stars out of 4