The Hillz

I am so ashamed. I admit that I tuned into this to see Paris Hilton. To see her, I had to endure 91 minutes of the most juvenile dialog that I have ever experienced. 45 minutes was used to repeat "fuck" over and over. The rest of the time was lame 13-year-old comments about "how big a pussy you are, man." The only remotely funny bit was the story of "Monster Head." Paris, I am so over you now. This was it. I swear to all that is holy that I will never again subject myself to seeing any moving that you appear in - not even "1 Night in Paris." Go play with the elephants or something. You are ancient history.

Can you believe that someone had the nerve to compare this to Pulp Fiction and A Clockwork Orange? That is the ultimate in creative marketing. They should be shot!

This is quite possibly the worst piece of cinematic trash I have ever had the misfortune to witness. Thank God I didn't actually pay to watch any of it by either renting it or seeing it at the theater. I've seen better acting at high school plays and musicals and the scripting was so bad, it seemed like they were making it up on the spot. I think that the only highlight for me was a scene where Paris Hilton gets slapped, however she quickly ruins any further pleasure with her wooden acting (an insult to wood) and even more about two scenes later when she thinks that it's sexy when she finds out her ex lover killed her current lover. What I want to know is who was the idiot who read the screenplay and decided to dump money into trying to make this train wreck? I was fortunate enough that I didn't further burn out my eyes by watching any more of it - I caught it when I flipped the channel to it and had I not been distracted by some other things, I probably would have watched even less of it than I did. What a waste celluloid.

Absolutely one of the worst films I've ever had the displeasure of paying for. So you've got a Friday night, nothing to do, you and your friends want to find something cheesy to watch and make fun of. It's sad when you look at a cover of a film and the biggest star is a woman who has made her career out of the Paparazzi and sex. Not to mention someone else was off MTV's Undressed, I believe? Pathetic. We had to rent it. But it was a lesson learned. No acting capability what so ever. How dare they compare any of this film to Clockwork Orange. It's not like any art student will be even looking at the back of this film. (Well, I did, for kicks). The gun shots are Power-pointed in. The brutality is just ridiculous. No one can act. I swear. Even the tears by one of the characters at the end look like inhaling a fowl odor. The music, well, was decent in some parts. Sounded a little Portishead, but that doesn't excuse the horrible violin plucks that serve no meaning for half of the film. Paris. Enough said. The story after 30 minutes you feel as though you've been in for an hour. We cried and laughed our way through. The worst is the freeze frame segment where they introduce our soulless characters by printing their names on the screen in bad font. Bad scene transitions. Bad dialogue (what's with the tampon/period jokes?). I'm sorry but this is just so bad, I had to watch Tori Amos, "Sleeps with Butterflies," video to get it out of my head and mouth.

If dictionaries had a picture next to the word garbage, this movie's poster would be that picture. Let me start off by saying the worst actress in the world, without a doubt is Paris Hilton. She is amazingly and utterly horrible in this movie, even laughing in some lines. It is as if she is reading the script. She sounds dead during the whole movie. A disgrace to the hard work done by actresses' these days. Jesse Woodrow, wow, he is mindblowingly dull in this movie. Indeed, he and Paris Hilton have paired up for the worst performances in acting history. He keeps the same tone during the whole movie, he is never angry or sad, he is just dull. I came up with a couple of titles that would be perfect for this movie: Guns, Drugs, Random ; The Suburbs are now more dangerous than the ghetto; Doing drugs and Killing people for no reason. The directing is as incompetent, unintelligent and horrible as the acting. The only believable actor in this movie was Renee Hedger, who wasn't even good. out of 10 I give this movie a -1000000000000000000, it deserves bellow zero. It should be illegal for Paris Hilton or Jesse Woodrow to ever act in a movie ever again, and they should receive the death sentence if they were ever caught in a movie together again. This is a demonstration of how human incompetence and stupidity is as infinite as the universe. It is also proof of Darwin's evolutionary theory, we do descend from monkeys, and the people who made this movie are living proof of that. I even think that chimps would have done a better job. Don't watch this movie, it will make you feel stupid and ignorant. It is sad to see that to try to make money people will do just about anything.

Any movie that's biggest draw is Paris Hilton is already in trouble. The Hillz, yet another new "teen drama," like that's even a genre, lowers the bar once again. Not quite sure what it wants to be, this mish mash of stolen ideas and unlikable characters has nothing new to show or to say. The advertising claims it is American Pie meets Pulp Fiction with a dash of A Clockwork Orange. Well, in a sense that is no lie: this film is a pale imitator that throws as many cliché's as it can at the wall to see what sticks.

The basic plot follows the adventures of Steve and his return from college to his old neighborhood. He's the popular jock who unfortunately finds that all is not peaceful in his wealthy high-school habitat. Most troubling is the fact that many of his best friends from high-school have now begun a blood-thirsty gang that terrorizes whoever they want and creates overall havoc. That's probably where the A Clockwork Orange elements come in. Sort of.

Then of course there's the love interest, Heather, played by Paris Hilton. The term "played" is to be used loosely: Paris Hilton doesn't actually act, she just plays herself with a different name. Considering the dipping standards of the Oscars nowadays, perhaps a nomination is in store for her. And, of course, there is the completely original love triangle between Steve, Heather, and her boyfriend Todd. This probably is the American Pie part of the film. Maybe.

And who knows where Pulp Fiction comes in; it probably just has to deal with the fact that this film has people committing crimes too! Oh, and there's sex appeal! And hot new stars! And violence! Yes, subtly takes a backseat to… Paris Hilton. Supposedly the film has a message, one that is summed up best in its tagline of "the good life just went bad." Unfortunately, a mediocre film just got worse, and the true tragedy of The Hillz is that it actually thinks it's an important film. Perhaps it will provide an alternative watch one night for a few bored young teens who never got to download A Night in Paris. For everyone else, though, the film is just a warning to up and coming filmmakers: if you want to give your mediocre script some weight, don't hire a star best known for illegitimate porno.

Critics Conclusion: The advertising claims The Hillz is American Pie meets Pulp Fiction... with a dash of A Clockwork Orange. Those are all perfect alternative entertainment choices to sitting through a mediocre production of a stale idea that has nothing to say that hasn't been said a million times already.