Belly of the Beast

Jake Hopper is ex-CIA who retired from the job after a bad shooting incident, although he still does work on the side for an old Agency buddy. When his daughter is kidnapped along with her friend (a Senator's daughter) while on a backpacking holiday in the far east, Jake's contact tells him. With official channels working to get the girls' back, Jake joins up with his old partner and begins trawling the underworld looking for the gang that has his girl.

Despite getting consistently burnt, I keep on coming back to Steven Seagal films - I can't help it. I always go to the video store (for that is where Seagal now resides) looking for something to veg out in front of that will entertain me without challenging or stimulating me; it is a sad condemnation of Seagal films that they rarely manage to do even that most basic of requests. However, in some regards, Belly of the Beast is actually a reasonable film. The plot is pretty standard and relies on nonsense to move it forwards - stuck with no clues, a girl approaches Jake with a mystery tattoo on her naked chest that only appears when she gets wet! Talk about an excuse for nudity! This sort of plot device is over used; too often the film has things just happen for a way of moving the plot forward.

The plot is poorly developed and it also has elements that just seem to have been thrown in in order to fulfil the formula. The love interest is one good example of an element that is silly and simply doesn't work. What does work is the action. For once in recent Seagal films, the fight scenes are actually pretty enjoyable even if they do overdo the slowmo effects. Seagal himself is quite effective; despite his weight gain he manages to move quite well here - even if most of it involves upper body work rather than full motion.

As an actor though, Seagal is about as bad as ever: his emotional range is rubbish, as seen in his reaction when told his daughter has been kidnapped (`you don't say' he blankly emotes!). He even is blank when kissing the gorgeous Lo - so what hope is there for him? Having said that, the worst moment in the film is one that is another actor's fault. In one scene Seagal is dubbed by an actor who sounds nothing like him - it is a laughable moment and a sad comment on the effort Seagal is putting into his films now (unable or unwilling to show up for ADR). Luckily for him, his support cast is OK. Mann's sidekick is good and Wu makes for a decent bad guy despite having very low screen time. Monica Lo is very beautiful and sexy - just a shame that her scenes where she gradually falls for Seagal make more for laughter than passion! Even these few good performances are still pretty basic though and the standard is no better than Seagal's usual stuff.

Overall, if you watch Seagal films a lot, then this will probably be better than you are used to, despite not actually being that good a film. The acting, script and plotting are as poor as you would expect but it is in the action stakes where this film improves upon his recent efforts. Understand that this is still not saying a great deal in my opinion but it still makes the film a lot better to have well choreographed and quite exciting fight scenes. If you have to watch a recent Seagal film, then this is probably the one to pick.

I cannot remember a recent "Steven Segal" movie in the cinema, or anywhere near publicised. The last one even close was "Half Past Dead", a mediocre yet fun action flick about Alacatraz if my memory serves correctly.

I rented "Belly of The Beast" for some Friday-night fun. And that is exactly what I got. Endlessly terrible and cheesy but fantastic at the same time, this is Steven Segal reaching new lo's in acting but highs in martial arts and action sequences. He kicks the hell out of anything he see's in bloodthirsty fashion, in some very inventive and surprisingly sadistic fashion (in one scene, he pushes a guy in hugely OTT fashion across a line of fish in ice-cubes into a meat hook- the '15' UK certificate is questionable). But still, this manages to be fun.

The plot is non-existent, as it turns in predictably bad fashion in any excuse to get Segal fighting, but this is hopeful- it proves this 50 year old overweight guy may have something left in him.

3 out of 5

Whether it was blind ego or genuine good humour on Seagal's part that allowed this title to be attached to the barrel-shaped action star's latest film, we may never know, as I can't see any interviewers being willing to ask. It's even possible that he came up with it himself, as he's given a writing credit. Though to be honest, a cinematography, direction or casting credit would have been more impressive, as the 'plot' is by far the most hopeless thing about this otherwise surprisingly polished but cliche-ridden corpse-fest.

Then again, it's the script's occasional flashes of sheer madness that make it worth watching. From the random tomato/fish/cleaver death scene early on to the head-spinning ladyboy fight and descent into voodoo lunacy during the climax, it keeps you on your toes, at least. Never seems to bother Seagal, though, whose single expression (constipation) remains fixed in place whether he's frantically fending off gangs of swordsmen with his bare hands, displaying primal fatherly angst over the inevitable kidnapping of his daughter or getting frisky with a hero-worshipping Thai girl less than half his age. Yes, you read that right, and yes, you will feel personally violated when it happens.

The other redeeming feature of the film - apart from the unusually high quality of the direction and camerawork, which gets full mileage out of what must have been a pretty limp budget - is the use of body doubles, which is some of the most blatant ever committed to film and all the more entertaining for it. Seagal *does* actually get more action in this film than in his last three or four combined, but it's still hilarious when he suddenly breaks off from his usual shot-from-the-shoulders-up slappy-hand business to launch into an impromptu flying spin kick, shedding about a third of his body weight in the process.

As long as you're not expecting gritty realism, you'll probably enjoy this as much as any other DTV kickathon on the shelves at the moment, and certainly more than the last couple of brain cell killers that Seagal's put out. Unfortunately Seagal himself is more visibly the weak link in the chain than ever before, with his action chops paling in comparison to those of both his co-star and main adversary, and his acting chops paling in comparison to his fridge. The sight of Thailand's entire criminal underworld taking turns to fly thirty feet through the air and crash into an exploding crate would be far more entertaining if it wasn't an overweight man in his fifties dishing out the damage, especially one who still refuses to take a single scratch in return. Still, one thing you have to give him credit for is not teaming up with any poxy rappers in this one.

STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All Costs

In quite the most ground-breaking,inspired plot of recent years,Steven 'isn't-it-time-you-moved-over-to-Canderal?' Seagal plays Jake Hopper,an ex CIA operative who's now living a quiet existence as a surveillance expert.Then his daughter is kidnapped,along with another more prominent girl,by a terrorist organization called the Abu Karaf.Unless imprisoned members of the group are freed,they will both be killed.Henceforth,Hopper and his mate (that bloke out of Street Fighter) who's now living a quiet existence in a buddhist monastery set out to find them and settle the score with the bad guys.

"A father's rage knows no limit" boasts the tagline of Seagal's latest dud.Yes,a father's rage,conveyed with such over-whelming power,intensity and raw emotion by Steven Seagal in his most oscar worthy role yet.What better way to bring a father's venamous feelings to the surface than by having the camera lingering constantly on close-ups of your face and breathing rather heavily whenever an emotional scene emerges in the script.It's not just in said emotional scenes that ol' Stevey boy can be heard breathing rather heavily,however,but seemingly throughout large segments of the whole film,like a fat person would,which,along with the ridiculously over-the-top,unbelievable CGI fight scenes that he's far too fat and old to possibly be performing without the aid of a stunt double,just go to show how slow,wheazy and out of puff he is.Belly of the Beast is as dreadful a title as Out for a Kill,but it's a seemingly (and perhaps unwittingly) apt description of Seagal's present physical state.

But it's not just in the physical department that Seagal now needs aid,but,it would seem,in the verbal department too,with his voice quite glaringly dubbed in some parts (presumably he can't be bothered to even speak anymore).Maybe constantly receiving scripts as awful as this is making him lose the will to put any sort of effort in to his roles whatsoever.

I don't know what is becoming of Seagal or his films anymore.The majority of critics slammed all his work (bar Under Siege),even his early features,but I was able to see past them as more than just brainless action flicks churned out by the likes of Norris and Van Damme.True,his blatant lack of acting ability stood out perhaps even more so than his predecessors in all his films,but they usually,with the exception of Hard to Kill,at least seemed to contain some sort of underlying social message for us to consider whilst enjoying all the martial arts,explosions and gun-fire that was going on.Nowadays,though,they are just the opposite of that.They are just soulless,plotless drones of each other that the writers/producers cared nothing for and just made to see if they could grab a quick buck on the video market.

Belly of the Beast is as bad as Out for a Kill and The Foreigner before it (with or without Michael Oblowitz) and should be avoided accordingly.*

Contains Spoilers. (Like it matters) Steven Seagal is a miracle. Somehow he has made a career making the same film over and over and this is no exception.

In my opinion he is a comic genius and a shrewd businessman, he's so good he has everyone thinking he's an action star. He is master of hypnotism. When you see a DVD of his on the shelf you are always drawn to it. You read the blurb. Ex CIA agent (John/Jack/Jake, or my favourite Forrest Taft) seeks revenge on everyone for kidnapping/murder of family/environment/hostages/nuclear weapons.

You inevitably rent it and proceed to cry with laughter. In this film Seagal, jumps through a train, fights a Ladyboy(!), beats 5 ninjas just by turning around a lot and best of all slicing an arrow clean in half with a sword.

Although this film deserves special praise for giving Seagal some nookie and the chance to find a secret message hidden on a woman's breasts.

After years of trying he may have finally made his masterpiece something to rival Under Siege 2 and all those films that had three word titles, for example; Out For Justice, Hard To Kill, Above the Law, On Deadly Ground and Fire Down Below.

This is comedy to rival Chaplin, Keaton and Jean Claude Van-Damme.