Jada Pinkett Smith credited as playing...
Gloria
- Gloria the Hippo: Where are the people?
- Skipper the Penguin: We killed them and ate their livers.
- [pause]
- Skipper the Penguin: Gotcha, didn't I? just kiddin', doll. The people are fine. They're on a slow boat to China.
- Gloria the Hippo: Aww, you poor little baby, did that big mean lion scare you?
- Mort the Mouse Lemur: Mm-hmm.
- Gloria the Hippo: He did? He's a big fat old puddy-tat, isn't he?
- Mort the Mouse Lemur: [gurgling and lifting arms up to be picked up]
- Gloria the Hippo: Come on, mama hold you. Awww!
- Melman the Giraffe: They are so cute from a reasonable distance.
- Gloria the Hippo: Look at you! Aren't you the sweetest thing... aww I just wanna dunk him in my coffee!
- Mort the Mouse Lemur: [giggling cutely]
- Gloria the Hippo: Okay, let's make a good impression on the people. Smiles, everyone. Let's get it together.
- [to Melman]
- Gloria the Hippo: Is that the best you can do, Melman?
- Melman the Giraffe: Oh, I'm not smiling. It's gas.
- Gloria the Hippo: Okay, well, great. Let's make gas look good.
- Alex the Lion: I'm swimming back to New York! I know my chances are slim, but I have to try!
- Gloria the Hippo: Alex, you can't swim!
- Alex the Lion: I said my chances are slim!
- Gloria the Hippo: Melman! Are you okay?
- Melman the Giraffe: Yeah. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI.
- Alex the Lion: Melman, you're not getting an MRI.
- Melman the Giraffe: CAT scan?
- Alex the Lion: No! No CAT scan! It's a transfer! It's a zoo transfer!
- Melman the Giraffe: Zoo transfer? Oh, no. No, no. I can't be transferred. I have an appointment with Dr. Goldberg at five. There are prescriptions that have to be filled! No other zoo can afford my medical care! And I am NOT going HMO!
- Marty the Zebra: Take it easy, Melman. We are gonna be o-kizzay.
- Alex the Lion: No, we're not gonna be o-kizzay! Because of you, we're ruined!
- Gloria the Hippo: Does anyone else feel nauseous?
- Melman the Giraffe: I feel nauseous.
- Alex the Lion: Melman, you always feel nauseous.
- [singing]
- Alex the Lion: Happy...
- Gloria the Hippo: Birth...
- Melman the Giraffe: Day...
- Alex the Lion: To...
- Gloria the Hippo: You...
- Alex the Lion: You...
- Melman the Giraffe: Live...
- Gloria the Hippo: In...
- Alex the Lion: A zoo...
- Gloria the Hippo: You...
- Melman the Giraffe: Look...
- Alex the Lion: Like a monkey...
- Melman the Giraffe: And...
- Alex the Lion: You smell...
- Gloria the Hippo: Like...
- [all together]
- Alex the Lion, Melman the Giraffe, Gloria the Hippo: One too!
- Gloria the Hippo: It's okay! Cats always land on their... face.
- [to Alex the Lion]
- Gloria the Hippo: What kind of cat are you?
- Alex the Lion: Whoa! Hold up there a second, fuzzbucket. You mean like, uh, the "live in a mud hut, wipe yourself with a leaf" type wild?
- Julian: Who wipes?
- Gloria the Hippo: Oy vey.
- Julian: Oy vey!
- Maurice: Oy vey, everybody!
- [Lemurs Shout "Oy vey"]
- Melman the Giraffe: San Diego.
- Gloria the Hippo: San Diego?
- Melman the Giraffe: White, sandy beaches; cleverly simulated natural environment; wide-open enclosures. I'm telling you, this could be the San Diego Zoo. Complete with fake rocks.
- [Taps on a rock]
- Melman the Giraffe: Wow, that looks real.
- Julian: We thank you with enormous gratitude for chasing away the foosa.
- Gloria the Hippo: The who-sa?
- Julian: The foosa. They are always annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping our limbs off.
- Gloria the Hippo: What kind of zoo is this?
- Melman the Giraffe: I just saw twenty-six blatant health code violations.
- Marty the Zebra: I'm loving San Diego. This place is off the chizain.
- Melman the Giraffe: Twenty-seven.
- Gloria the Hippo: Come on, we are New Yorkers, right?
- Marty the Zebra: Yeah.
- Gloria the Hippo: We're tough! We're gritty!
- Marty the Zebra: Yeah!
- Gloria the Hippo: We're adaptable!
- Melman the Giraffe: Yeah!
- Gloria the Hippo: And we are not gonna lay down like a bunch of Melmans!
- Melman the Giraffe: No, we're not!
- Marty the Zebra: Come on, Alex. Do you honestly think I intended all of this to happen? You want me to say I'm sorry? Is that what you want? Okay, I'm so...
- Alex the Lion: Shush!
- Marty the Zebra: He just shushed me.
- Gloria the Hippo: Look, Alex, you have to be more understanding...
- Alex the Lion: Shush!
- Gloria the Hippo: Don't you shush me!
- Alex the Lion: Do you hear that? Can't you hear that?
- Marty the Zebra: You guys look hungry. How would you like some of nature's goodness?
- Gloria the Hippo: You have food?
- Marty the Zebra: One Fun Side special, coming up. Seaweed on a stick.
- Alex the Lion: Seaweed?
- Marty the Zebra: On a stick. Don't love it 'till you try it.
- Gloria the Hippo: It's not people, it's animals.
- Melman the Giraffe: California animals. Dude.
- Marty the Zebra: This is like a Puffy party.
- Melman the Giraffe: Guys, we're running out of time!
- Gloria the Hippo: Melman, you broke their clock?
- Gloria the Hippo: Lets, go. Make a wish babycakes.
- [Marty blows out the candle and eats a chunk out of his birthday cake]
- Alex the Lion: Come on, what you wish for?
- Marty the Zebra: Nope! Can't tell you that.
- Alex the Lion: Come on, tell.
- Alex the Lion: No siree. I'm telling you'a, its bad luck. You want some bad luck, I'll blab it out, But if you want to be safe, I'll keep my mouth shut.
- Gloria the Hippo: [interrupting] Could you just tell us? I mean, really. What could happen?
- Marty the Zebra: Okay. I wish I could go... To the wild!
- Alex the Lion: The wild?
- [After Marty says this, Alex falls off the wall, Melman chokes himself and Gloria opens her mouth in shock]
- Marty the Zebra: I told you it was bad luck.
- [Gloria tries to stop Melman from choking]
- Alex the Lion: The wild? Are you nuts? That is the worst ideal I've ever heard.
- [Melman spits out what was choking him]
- Melman the Giraffe: It's unsanitary.
- Marty the Zebra: The penguins are going. So why can't I?
- Alex the Lion: The penguins are psychotic.
- Marty the Zebra: Come on, Just imagine going back to nature. Back to your roots, clean air, wide-open spaces!
- Gloria the Hippo: Well, I hear they have wide-open spaces in Connecticut.
- Marty the Zebra: Connecticut?
- Melman the Giraffe: Yeah. What you gotta do is you go over to Grand Central, and then you gotta take the Metro-North Tran... North?
- Marty the Zebra: So one could take the train? Just Hypothetically.
- Alex the Lion: Marty, come on. What would Connecticut have to offer us?
- Melman the Giraffe: Lyme disease.
- Alex the Lion: Thank you Melman.
- Marty the Zebra: No, no really, really. I just want...
- Alex the Lion: There's certainly none of this in the wild
- [Waves a steak at Marty]
- Marty the Zebra: But... but... but...
- Alex the Lion: This is a highly refined type of food thing. That you do not find in the wild.
- Gloria the Hippo: Go talk to him, you know, go over and give him a little pep talk.
- Alex the Lion: Hey, I gave him a snow globe! I can't beat that!