- [last lines]
- Private the Penguin: Skipper. Shouldn't we tell them that the boat is out of gas?
- Skipper the Penguin: Nah! Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
- [all four penguins waving]
- [Marty the Zebra and Alex the Lion running towards each other on the beach in slow motion with arms outstretched and Chariots of Fire music]
- Alex the Lion: Marty!
- Marty the Zebra: Alex!
- Alex the Lion: Marty!
- Marty the Zebra: Alex!
- Alex the Lion: Marty!
- Marty the Zebra: Alex!
- Alex the Lion: [angrily] Marty!
- Marty the Zebra: [afraid] Alex?
- Alex the Lion: [real-time] Marty!
- Marty the Zebra: Oh, Sugar Honey Ice Tea!
- Alex the Lion: 27, 28, 29, 30. Hmm, 30 black and only 29 white, looks like you're black with white stripes after all. Dilemma solved. Good night!
- Julian: Shh! We're hiding. Be quiet everyone. That includes me. Shh! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again...
- Marty the Zebra: I'm ten years old. My life is half over and I don't even know if I'm black with white stripes or white with black stripes!
- Gloria the Hippo: Where are the people?
- Skipper the Penguin: We killed them and ate their livers.
- [pause]
- Skipper the Penguin: Gotcha, didn't I? just kiddin', doll. The people are fine. They're on a slow boat to China.
- [Mason and Phil have just escaped]
- Mason the Chimpanzee: I hear Tom Wolfe's speaking at Lincoln Center.
- [Phil signs frantically]
- Mason the Chimpanzee: Well, of course we're going to throw poo at him!
- Skipper the Penguin: You, quadruped. Sprechen Sie Englisch?
- Marty the Zebra: I sprechen.
- Skipper the Penguin: What continent is this?
- Marty the Zebra: Manhattan.
- Skipper the Penguin: Hoover Dam! We're still in New York! Abort! Dive! Dive! Dive!
- Marty the Zebra: What are you guys doing?
- Private the Penguin: We're digging to Antartica!
- [Skipper smacks Private]
- Marty the Zebra: An-who-tica?
- Skipper the Penguin: Can you keep a secret, my monochromatic friend?
- [Marty looks around and nods]
- Skipper the Penguin: Do you ever see any penguins running free around New York City?
- [Marty shakes his head]
- Skipper the Penguin: Of course not. We don't belong here. It's just not natural. This is all some kind of wacked out conspiracy. We're going to the wide open spaces of Antarctica! To the wild!
- Julian: Where are you giants from?
- Alex the Lion: We're from New York.
- Julian: All hail the New York Giants!
- Melman the Giraffe: [Melman presents Marty with a gift-wrapped thermometer]
- Marty the Zebra: Aw a thermometer! Thanks! I love it Melman, I love it!
- [he puts it in his mouth and poses]
- Melman the Giraffe: I really wanted to give you a personal present. Do you know that was my first rectal thermometer?
- Marty the Zebra: Motherf...
- [Marty spits it out and retches]
- Mort the Mouse Lemur: King Julian! What are they?
- [shouts]
- Mort the Mouse Lemur: What are they?
- Julian: They are... aliens! Savage aliens! From the savage future!
- Maurice: They've come to kill us! And take our women! And our precious metals!
- Mort the Mouse Lemur: [begins weeping]
- Julian: Get up Mort! Do not be near the King's feet, okay!
- Alex the Lion: [talking in his sleep] Come on now, baby. My little filet. My little filet mignon with a little fat around the edges. I like that. I like a little fat on my steak. My sweet, juicy steak. You are a rare delicacy.
- Old Lady: [after beating Alex with her purse and spraying him in the eyes with mace] You are a bad kitty!
- Skipper the Penguin: Status.
- Private the Penguin: [walking on the computer keyboard] It's no good, Skipper. I don't know the codes.
- Skipper the Penguin: Don't give me excuses!
- [slapping Private]
- Skipper the Penguin: Give me results!
- [to Kowalski]
- Skipper the Penguin: Navigation!
- Alex the Lion: Today was a great day. It just doesn't get any better than this, you know? Oh, look, it just did. Even the star is out. You won't find a star like that in the wild.
- Marty the Zebra: Helicopter.
- Alex the Lion: [shouts] You maniac! You burned it up! Darn you! Darn you all to heck!
- Melman the Giraffe: Can we go to the fun side now?
- Mort the Mouse Lemur: They are savages! Tonight we die.
- Julian: The feet! I told you about - I told you to - I told you - didn't I tell him about the feet?
- Maurice: He did tell you about the feet.
- Mort the Mouse Lemur: [cutely] E-he.
- Random Lemur: I like them!
- Mort the Mouse Lemur: I like them, I like them! I liked them first! Before I even met them I liked them! As soon as I met them I liked them right away! You hate them compared to how much I like them!
- Julian: Oh shut up, you're so annoying!
- Julian: If he is a King then where is his crown? I've got a crown, got a very nice one and its here on my head. Look at it. Have I got it on?
- Alex the Lion: The wild? Are you nuts? That is the worst idea I have ever heard!
- Melman the Giraffe: It's unsanitary!
- Marty the Zebra: The penguins are going, so why can't I?
- Alex the Lion: The penguins are psychotic!
- Alex the Lion: Come on! What does Connecticut have to offer us?
- Melman the Giraffe: Lyme disease.
- Alex the Lion: Thank you, Melman.
- [on the subway, Alex roars at a guy hiding behind a newspaper]
- Alex the Lion: Augh! Knicks lost again!
- Melman the Giraffe: Eh. Whatcha gonna do?
- Train conductor: [over PA] Grand Central Station.
- Alex the Lion: Did he just say "Grand Central Station," or "My aunt's constipation"?
- Gloria the Hippo: Aww, you poor little baby, did that big mean lion scare you?
- Mort the Mouse Lemur: Mm-hmm.
- Gloria the Hippo: He did? He's a big fat old puddy-tat, isn't he?
- Mort the Mouse Lemur: [gurgling and lifting arms up to be picked up]
- Gloria the Hippo: Come on, mama hold you. Awww!
- Melman the Giraffe: They are so cute from a reasonable distance.
- Gloria the Hippo: Look at you! Aren't you the sweetest thing... aww I just wanna dunk him in my coffee!
- Mort the Mouse Lemur: [giggling cutely]
- Gloria the Hippo: Okay, let's make a good impression on the people. Smiles, everyone. Let's get it together.
- [to Melman]
- Gloria the Hippo: Is that the best you can do, Melman?
- Melman the Giraffe: Oh, I'm not smiling. It's gas.
- Gloria the Hippo: Okay, well, great. Let's make gas look good.
- Marty the Zebra: [about King Julian] He's got style.
- Alex the Lion: What is he, like, king of the guinea pigs?
- Melman the Giraffe: I think it's a squirrel.
- Julian: Welcome, giant pansies. Please feel free to bask in my glow.
- Alex the Lion: Definitely a squirrel.
- Melman the Giraffe: Yep, a squirrel.
- Maurice: [flatly] Presenting your royal highness, our illustrious King Julian the XIII, self-proclaimed lord of the lemurs, etc, etc, hooray, everybody.
- Alex the Lion: I'm swimming back to New York! I know my chances are slim, but I have to try!
- Gloria the Hippo: Alex, you can't swim!
- Alex the Lion: I said my chances are slim!
- Julian: [Hiding in the bushes with the other lemurs] Shhhh, we're hiding. Everyone needs to be quiet, including me... SHHHHHH! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again...
- Skipper the Penguin: [Looking at the shipping label on their crate] Kowalski. What does it say?
- Kowalski: I can't make it out, Skipper - it's an older code.
- Skipper the Penguin: Not good enough.
- [Looking over at Mason the Chimpanzee]
- Skipper the Penguin: You! Higher mammal. Can you read?
- Mason the Chimpanzee: No, but Phil can. Phil?
- [Phil the Chimpanzee begins motioning with his hands, which Mason interprets]
- Mason the Chimpanzee: Ship to... Kenya Wildlife Preserve... Africa.
- Skipper the Penguin: Africa! That ain't gonna fly! Rico!
- [Rico begins coughing and spits up a paper clip, with which he picks the lock on the crate. The penguins then escape and take over the ship]
- Marty the Zebra: Alex, do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming. If a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone.
- Gloria the Hippo: Melman! Are you okay?
- Melman the Giraffe: Yeah. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI.
- Alex the Lion: Melman, you're not getting an MRI.
- Melman the Giraffe: CAT scan?
- Alex the Lion: No! No CAT scan! It's a transfer! It's a zoo transfer!
- Melman the Giraffe: Zoo transfer? Oh, no. No, no. I can't be transferred. I have an appointment with Dr. Goldberg at five. There are prescriptions that have to be filled! No other zoo can afford my medical care! And I am NOT going HMO!
- Marty the Zebra: Take it easy, Melman. We are gonna be o-kizzay.
- Alex the Lion: No, we're not gonna be o-kizzay! Because of you, we're ruined!
- Marty the Zebra: Did you ever think that there might be more to live than steak, Alex?
- Alex the Lion: [to his steak] He didn't mean that, baby. No, no, no.
- Gloria the Hippo: Does anyone else feel nauseous?
- Melman the Giraffe: I feel nauseous.
- Alex the Lion: Melman, you always feel nauseous.
- Julian: After much deep and profound brain things inside my head, I have decided to thank you for bringing peace to our home. And to make you feel good, I'm going to give you this lovely parting gift.
- [presents Alex with his crown]
- Alex the Lion: No, I couldn't. Really, I can't take your crown.
- Julian: Oh, that's OK. I've got a bigger crown. It's got a gecko on it. Look at him shake! Go, Stevie, go!