Monster-in-Law

MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS

Okay, so right off the bat I have to say that Monster In Law is bad. It's really dumb, cliché ridden, and common. It's not Showgirls bad but it is mediocre and I think I've had quite enough of mediocrity. I know many of you out there might be saying: "well what do you expect, Citizen Kane". Well, yes I do. At least the "Citizen Kane" of modern romantic comedies. Hell, I'll take an attempt at something unique or original; but to be honest I'm sick of settling and forgiving these films for their lack of creativity just because these movies are charming.

Set in the near future a space alien steals the DNA of…just kidding. Monster in Law is the story of the nicest girl ON THE PLANET (Jennifer Lopez) who meets the perfect man (Michael Vartan). When I say perfect I mean the dude is perfect; he's a surgeon, you see, and every time someone on his operating table dies he yells: "It…just… doesn't… get… any easier!!!" No, I'm kidding again. He is a surgeon, yes, but he's perfect so no one dies. Anyway, nicest girl, perfect man want to get married. Enter perfect man's mom (Jane Fonda). JaFo doesn't want MiVa to marry J.Lo. I wasn't quite sure of the reason why. I think it had to do with some sort socialite caste system. See, Jenny From The Block is merely a temp/dog walker and Hanoi Jane is a rich T.V, talk personality who drops names like a seagull at a statue. So obviously Lopez isn't good enough for Vaughn…I mean Vartan.

Over the course of the movies 90 minute running time you will be subjected to the following: Conspiracies to derail the wedding. The Clinging Mother who feigns anxiety attacks. The "Dogs attacking Prada/Gucci/Fendi" gag. The sleeping pill resulting in the face- in-the-worlds-worst-food/dish joke. And, if orange is the new black; allergy flare-ups in romantic comedies must be the new fart joke. Oh, and just when you think they couldn't possibly go there, the words: "You win, the wedding's off" actually are spoken thus giving us all the required rom-com conflict clichés.

There is something that I must concede. Wanda Sykes not only steals this movie from its two stars but she is so good that I would pay money to see her do it again (rental people rental). She is hilarious as Fonda's caustic quick-witted assistant. Sykes has made a career out of playing the sidekick and all her training has paid of beautifully. No one could've delivered the line: "I think I dislocated my vagina" as well as Sykes. She is the reason you won't ask for your money back at the end of Monster In Law.

Sykes aside Monster in Law has remained faithful to the unoriginal formula Hollywood has been recently churning out. I, for one am done forgiving talented people for being just good enough. You hear me Keanu! You make too much God Damned money to suck as often as you do. The same goes for Fonda and Lopez. Vartan gets a pass cause he's new.

Charlotte Honeywell (Jennifer Lopez) has had problems finding the perfect man until she starts dating Kevin (Michael Vartan). Thing are going well until she meets his overbearing mother (Jane Fonda), a recently fired news anchorwoman who takes her aggression out on her son's new girlfriend with help from her assistant Ruby (Wanda Sykes). But Charlotte is ready to fight back.

The premise is rather old and it has been done to death recently. Shrek 2, Meet the Fockers, Guess Who and now this film. I still enjoy this type of comedy but this is the worse one of the previous four. However, Monster-in-Law is still an enjoyable movie. It doesn't offer anything memorable but it's pretty entertaining while it lasts. I'll admit the movie is highly unrealistic from the cruel stuff Fonda and Lopez do to each other to the nice home Lopez owns despite the fact that it looks way too expensive for her to own. Some of the cruel things they do to each other is pretty funny while other times it's just a bit too much. Luckily, there really isn't too much of this material since the movie is only 100 minutes long. So the film hardly gets boring and it ends before it wears out its welcome.

The acting is alright, with a few performances really saving the movie. Jane Fonda gives a really funny performance as Charlotte. She does go over the top but her performance is still a lot of fun to watch on screen. Jennifer Lopez gives a bland performance, nothing special. Her chemistry with Fonda is weak and their scenes aren't as good as they could have been. Wanda Sykes offers a funny performance as Ruby. Her scenes with Jane Fonda are the best things about the movie though she gets a little annoying. Michael Vartan is kind of just there and he doesn't really do anything special.

Robert Luketic directs and he does an okay job. He could have made the film a little more realistic and a little less sitcomish but the movie turned out okay. The audience I saw this with were really into it and they seemed to be enjoying themselves. Obviously, critics won't like this film but those looking for a nice comedy should check out this movie. It is a little mean spirited and predictable but this doesn't take away too much from the movie. In the end, Monster-in-Law is a good time passer, nothing more or less. Rating 7/10

I had such a thrill watching the unsinkable Jane Fonda making a wonderful fool of herself that I've actually saw it twice. The second time with my thumb on the fast forward. I've watched Jane's Viola interview that Brittany Spears clone many, many times. It's outrageously close to the knuckle and Fonda goes for it, body and soul. The problem resides elsewhere. I hope Jennifer Lopez has someone around her who can tell her the truth. She is so bad that the film can't recover from the heaviness of her romantic turns. She is the iceberg to this particular titanic. There is not a moment of sincerity in her entire performance and the fact that she is standing opposite one of the most truthful of actresses in the history of acting makes her appearance all the more jarring. Jane please, gives as more, Jennifer, go back to school.

Hilariously funny. Good script, great acting and nice to see Jane playing her age and doing it tongue in cheek. This is a sit back, relax and laugh your face off movie...don't over think it...it's entertainment.

Despite all the garbage reviews slating JLo for her performance, the movie is actually fun! Since when was JLo tryna be the next Meryl people? All the sit at home critics need to pipe down and take this movie for what it is: light, silly fun that ain't trying to win no Oscars. Especially enjoyed Wanda Sykes and her chemistry with Jane was perfect.