- Marissa: Hey, how come you're the brains? I'm the one who talked us back into that club.
- Seth: I'm sorry. I'm the brains.
- Ryan: You can be the beauty.
- Marissa: Okay, thanks.
- Summer: Great, and what am I, Cohen?
- Seth: Uh, the boobs?
- [Summer hits him]
- Seth: Uh, the bitch?
- Summer: Okay, I'll take the boobs.
- Seth: Hey. So will I.
- [Summer laughs]
- Seth: [later]
- Marissa: See, I think I should be the brains.
- Ryan: No, Seth's the brains.
- Marissa: Well, you're clearly not the beauty.
- Ryan: Ooooh, and now someone's the bitch.
- [smiles]
- Taylor Townsend: You know, it is so great that you guys have each other.
- Summer: [confused] Thanks.
- Taylor Townsend: 'Cause everyone knows that Marissa was the popular one, and Seth, no judgment, but it's not like you got any cooler in the last two years. I mean, everyone just acted that way because they were afraid of Ryan Atwood. I mean, even as a senior, you're still pretty much the biggest geek in Newport.
- Summer: [cuts Taylor off] Oh-ho, no. All right, listen to me, skank, just because you're saying really mean things in, like, a really nice voice, doesn't mean that we don't realize that you're just some stupid little skank!
- Jimmy: Don't you remember when we were kids? No one could keep us apart.
- Julie: Ok, first of all: it is not the same thing. Second of all: am I the gardener in this scenario? I think not.
- Jimmy: My parents threatened to cut me off if I didn't break up with you.
- Julie: You never told me that.
- Jimmy: Why hurt your feelings?
- Julie: What did you tell them?
- Jimmy: I told them to go to hell. I told them I was in love with you. I was.
- Julie: Well, I was easy to love back then. I was beautiful and much nicer.
- Jimmy: Jules, come on, you're still beautiful. And we both know you were never nice.
- Ryan: [Seth has been smoking pot due to stress of going to college] It's almost 3:30. Isn't your interview at 4?
- Seth: [high] What are you talking about?
- [looks at clock]
- Ryan: Are you ready?
- Seth: Am I ready? Do me a favor.
- [pulls up shirt sleeve and feels bicep]
- Seth: Go ahead and feel that. Feel that puppy right there.
- Ryan: No.
- Seth: Okay. You don't want to touch another man, I get it. You find my slender swimmer's body, um, intimidating.
- Ryan: [confused] Something smells.
- Seth: No it doesn't. No it doesn't. But they, uh, they say that the first sign of a, um, brain tumor, is, uh, phantom smells so you should lie down.
- [Ryan finds can of air freshener]
- Seth: Hey. Hey, you solved it. You're a mystery solver. You're like - you're like Encyclopedia Brown. Remember when Encyclopedia Brown went on down to Texas...
- [Ryan raises his eyebrows]
- Seth: -and solved the mystery of the great shootout? Hey - how about this for a change. A cage match - Encyclopedia Brown versus the Great Brain - to the death.
- Ryan: [pause] Are you high?
- Seth: [tries to look innocent, then laughs uncontrollably] Am I high? No. No! Come on, man, I love it when you go for the comedy but I would not - I would not quit your day job beating up people. I would.
- Seth: [Ryan finds ashtray with joints] I don't know how that got there.
- Marissa: So, my mum's trying to drag me to cardio bar again. It's her idea of mother-daughter bonding.
- Summer: Cardio bar, Coop?
- Marissa: Well, she says it's the new Taibo. So maybe I can learn to kick her ass.
- Summer: I don't think you need to do any more cardio.
- Marissa: What's that supposed to mean?
- Summer: Nothing. It's just that - well and I mean this in the least scandalous way but you're looking a little thin.
- Marissa: I eat!
- Seth: Yeah, it's too bad you're leaving. We never eat like this.
- Kirsten: That's not true. I cook all the time.
- Seth: [scoffs] Dad...
- Sandy: I'm sorry, honey.
- [starts laughing]
- Kirsten: Let's just eat.
- Sandy: We're not saying we want you to cook more.
- Seth: Oh...
- [blows raspberry]
- Seth: Hell, no. You remember the meat loaf incident of '98?
- Kirsten: That was brisket.
- Seth: Yeah, that's my point exactly.
- Summer: Ugh, this bikini is so uncomfortable. I need to go get a new one. You want to go to South Coast?
- Marissa: Totally. There's a Paul Frank sale there on Wednesday.
- Summer: Wednesday? I can't. I have plans with Zach.
- Marissa: Oh, more plans with Zach, huh?
- Summer: Yes. The more time I spend with Zach, the less time I have to think about - God, what's his face? Built like a beanpole, curly hair, runs away like a little bitch on a sailboat leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend who cried and cried over him till the Fourth of July when she decided she doesn't cry over bitches on boats.
- Marissa: Seth. His name. It's Seth.
- Summer: I know. I'm just doing that thing where I pretend I don't and I have to use a lot of descriptive insults to give voice to my inner pain.
- Sandy: What are you going to do? Steal a car? Burn down a house? Punch out the captain of the water polo team? Those ships have sailed, my friend.