Dead Clowns

Stay away from this movie. The filmmakers don't know the first thing about creating suspense or fright. Why wouldn't you have the actors scream? They're being attacked by zombie clowns, for frick's sake! One guy wouldn't even scream as his arm was being sawed off. Maybe the actor knew how horrid the movie was right from the get-go. The pacing is ludicrously slow and plodding. No one is going to be scared by this or even find this entertaining. I love my zombie movies and was looking forward to this as the mythology of it seemed amazing. Clowns left to die under water. Very cool. But it's this script should've been left there. That would've been cooler.

I know I gave this 1 out of ten but that's only because I couldn't find the -36 on the scale.

This movie was terrible.

Now, I'm a cheesy horror fan as much as the next person, and I can certainly appreciate a good low-budget gore-fest. But this movie? Low-budget: yes. Gory? Hardly.

I have never been so utterly bored in my life waiting for something to happen. After looooooong and beyond pointless shots of stock-footage hurricanes, looooooong and beyond pointless shots of random people walking slowly around looking at things like they've never seen them before... ("wow.... I'm in my house but... this wall... it's just... fascinating... I'm going to.... stroll past it... and stare... wow..."), and some kid snorting sugar -er- cocaine, the movie finally did something interesting.

No, wait, that was just me hitting the forward search button in an effort to get to this gore I was promised. Well, I want my 30 minutes back. Terrible, terrible effects. Stupid rubber masks, bad fake blood, HORRIBLE acting (and yes, I realize with a crappy indie horror, that's to be expected, but the acting in this garbage was utterly atrocious on EVERYONE'S part except for Brinke Stevens. She was relatively convincing, especially compared to the rest of the drivel she was put up beside), bad bad bad sound, and just, GAH. It was so frickin' bad. I had to turn it off because my head was getting ready to explode from the lame crap I was seeing.

Thank the gods I did not pay for this crap. Even so, I think I am owed compensation for putting myself through even part of this. Yeah, that's right. That moron should be paying people to watch this.

And even then, I would have trouble agreeing.

Jesus Freak ME Christ.. How freakin gay can you get? I mean really.. This other a-hole wrote on here that this film was "GREAT FOR THE BUDGET HE HAD!!" what was the freakin budget, $1.50?!? Seeing my grandma naked in the shower is more terrifying than this piece of poop. Anyone who has a problem with what I just said, or whoever wants to question my criticism, go buy a bag full of male genetalia, eat them, then choke and die. Don't freakin watch this malarkey it sucks. And the one star I gave, this freakin piece of dookie doesn't even deserve it. I just put that because there was nothing lower. Screw this movie, IN THE BUNG HOLE! Now I have to pretend to write more freakin text about this movie.. but it sucks. There's not enough gayness in the world to be able to describe this stupid freakin movie in 10 lines. Except the fact that I'm seriously thinking of suing the people that made this movie for mental anguish. THIS SUCKED! BOO!

Generally I have a tolerance for bad films. But I was fast forwarding pretty quickly through this one.

Plot: 50 year old zombie clowns come back from an underwater grave after a storm.

The Good:

1. I felt like I was in a storm. 2. Special effects are impressive. 3.The calliope was actually creepy

The Unforgivably Bad:

1. Acting was bad even judged by it's peers. A Speak-And-Spell would have delivered more convincing inflections in the dialog. 2. The pacing of this stormy film was like water torture. 3. There was no characterization, I felt more sorry for the clowns than the people. 4.This film was ever made.

I would highly recommend you go outside and take a walk. It's beneficial for you and staring at the pacing pavement is a more fun way to spend your 90+ minutes. I just don't see any merit in watching this film.

I've seen this before at least twice. Many have seen the Fog and the premise is basically the same, but the Fog was much better.

Zombie fans may have also seen Zombie Lake. A Jesus Franco production that was not much better, but it had features this film could only dream of.

I only watched this to see Debbie Rochon. It was also nice to see Brinke Stevens, as I will delve more into her later. Fans of either Scream Queen will be disappointed, but if you are not a fan of either, you will be disgusted at the low quality of this film.

Zombie clowns eating body parts, but that's it.